the cadence of part time poets

Chapter 88: Reunion

I don't need you to worry for me 'cause I'm alright,
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home;
I don't care what you say anymore this is my life,
Go ahead with your own life leave me alone...

- "My Life" Billy Joel, 1978

Regulus' second message had arrived just after Valentine's Day, this time addressed to James. Still alive, it read; Idiots.

James of course, got a kick out of it, but Sirius remained unimpressed. He tried his best to insist that he was thankful for any word at all, but when a third postcard arrived one week later with Peter's name on it, Sirius just about ripped it in two.

"Would it kill the little git to put my name on a card for once?!"

"He's just doing it to get a rise out of you," James sniggered. "It's cute."

When it was Remus' turn to read the postcard, he couldn't help but smile. I'm fine. Not in fucking Belgium. Stop calling. Bloody prats. He imagined him writing it; Of course I should call them all prats. It's very important that they know.

"Looks like he's finally developed a sense of humour at least," Sirius gripped, taking back the card and turning it over in his hands several times. Remus didn't say it, but it was obvious he was relieved. They'd been going on two months with no word apart from a few flimsy postcards, but as long as Regulus was still finding ways to insult them things must've been somewhat normal.

"I'm still serious about going, if you are," Remus said later on, when it was just him and Sirius again. They were in the laundrette house, flipping their sheets and things into the dryer. It was early evening; a radio was playing atop one of the shelves along the far wall, seemingly forgotten by another student. It was as good a moment as any for such depressing parley.

"We could get a car over Easter break, drive out there. Bring him... Well, bring him somewhere else."

Sirius shut the squeaky dryer door with a slam, nearly upsetting the box of powder detergent sitting on top. "And just where are you planning on getting a car? Seems a bit far-fetched, that one. And I don't think Stan'll fancy a road trip to fucking Bath."

"We'll figure it out, we always do. Why? Are you saying you don't want to go?"

"No!" Sirius snatched up the detergent, moving up to the washer. "It's just... What if he says no? Like picture it, Moons. We go all the way there, and by some miracle manage to talk to him and say... what? Come back? Leave them? I'm not sure he'd do it. It was easier for me, I never fit in there, and I had Alphard's inheritance. Reg has nothing."

"He has you."

Sirius looked at him then. Really looked at him. "You make it sound so easy."

"Maybe it is."

"... You sop."

It was a foolish idea, but they were young and foolish anyway so it was something. Even if they didn't have a car or the license to drive one, it wasn't as though the Black family manor was some impregnable fortress. Sirius knew all the back entrances, which servants' hallway was least likely to be used, and how often the gatekeepers switched shifts. If they could just get to Regulus without being seen, then maybe they'd have a chance. Remus had already mapped the route; if they borrowed the money for the train from their friends they could be there and back in three days. Giles might help, given the right incentive, and if not they could always hitchhike. At the very least it'd be an adventure. Perhaps they'd even be arrested! Wouldn't Tomny be impressed then.

Eventually they were counting down the days until Easter. Sirius was convinced Regulus could last another month on his own, but he never stopped calling either. Perhaps he thought he could annoy his brother into coming back, but most likely he was just hanging on a hope. Funny thing about that though... on a few very rare occasions, a little hoping could pay off.