the cadence of part time poets

Chapter 46: Healing

So where are you going to, I don't mind,
If I live too long I'm afraid I'll die;
So I will follow you wherever you go,
If you offered hand is still open to me;
Strangers on this road we are on,
We are not two, we are one...

- "Strangers" The Kinks, 1970

Monday 3rd January 1977

Three days at home after visiting the flat would've normally sobered him, but even as his stomach squirmed and his eyes twinged from the smoky smell of the burning tar that always seemed to accompany London train stations, Remus made his way through Kings Cross feeling as though every vein had been electrified. He'd just finished the best Christmas of his teenage life, and though he was heading back to school, things were sure to be different. His luck was shifting, and he'd already made a list of ways things were sure to improve;

He had a plan for a prank, courtesy of Seesaw.He was going to fix any poor marks, probably courtesy of Lily.He had a girlfriend.He was going to apologise to Sirius.

The last point was certainly the most contentious, but things with Sirius had ended on a poor note and Remus couldn't stop thinking about it, despite the fact that he wasn't entirely sure what they'd fought over in the first place. It was bad enough that Lily and James' argument had divided them the year before, he couldn't imagine what living in the same room would be like if things between them were still foul after the holiday. After Remus had spent first term sour as a grape, James and Peter would have no choice but to take Sirius' side, they owed each other such loyalty. There was another thing too; he'd promised Tonya that he would find the words, and starting off with an apology sounded like his best bet.

By the time he made it to the correct platform there were only a handful stragglers left to board. He glanced through a few windows, hoping to spot the other boys, but as the train's first warning whistle cut through the station Remus threw himself up into one of the cars and began moving toward their usual section of the train. The other passengers were mostly students of course, and he waved to the occasional friendly face as he made his way down the corridor, trunk bumping between the wall and his knees.

As expected, he found all three of the other boys sitting towards the back of the train in one of the more spacious compartments and tugged the door open, plucking the toothpick he'd stolen from Giles that morning from his mouth; "Wotcher."

"Hi-ya, Remus!" James called. "Thought you were going to miss the train."

"It's called being fashionably late, Potter, look it up." He nodded to Peter. "Hey, Pete."

"Hey there, Lupin."

Remus swallowed. "Hey, Black."

Sirius turned back from the window he'd been focused on and looked him up and down. Across his lap sat Andy's acoustic guitar, which he was plucking absent-mindedly with his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. He was wearing his suede jacket over a white button-up and he had to toss his dark waves out of his eyes to get a good look at him. Add in a few cigarettes and a glass of scotch left abandoned on the windowsill and he could've been on an album cover.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius answered coolly.

It was as though the entire apologetic script Remus had been rehearsing in his head for the last three days had evaporated into thin air, and he was left to smile awkwardly and nod. Returning the toothpick to his teeth, he closed the door after himself and lifted his trunk up onto the overhead shelf with the others' before taking a seat between Peter and the window.

"You have a good Christmas?" James asked. He had Andy's empty guitar case tucked up between his legs and was gently rapping his knuckles against the painted leather.