the cadence of part time poets

Chapter 71: The Boys at the End

Though I know I'll never lose affection,
For people and things that went before;
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life, I love you more...  

- "In My Life" The Beatles, 1965

Waking up always sucked more when you couldn't remember falling asleep, except in Remus' case, he couldn't even remember getting back to the Potters'. He learnt later that Sirius had in fact found Simeon—innocently drinking among a group of friends—and that Simeon had hailed them a cab. Only the two of them had left first; Peter had still been whacked off his arse and there was no way they could've taken him back home to his parents in such a state. He and James hung back with Simeon and followed later, but it'd been Sirius who'd dragged Remus across the Potters' threshold, complaining of too much to drink, and then hauled him up to the bathroom where he'd promptly puked his guts out.

"You're mental,"  Sirius had said while Remus hugged the toilet bowl. "My mental Moony." Then Remus could've sworn he'd heard the words, love you.

It could've been part of the dreams. Or the drugs. Or both, really. Getting high was the only way that the dreams would ever come out; the nights were colourless, while days remained all too exhaustive. It was like he was backwards. Wrong in all the right places.

When he could prise his eyes open, he found that the curtains in his room were still drawn, but Mrs. Potter had left his breakfast on his side table. Along with the tray was a note from Giles that said to call him the moment Remus was feeling human again so he could come retrieve him in time for school.

Ugh, school...

Remus supposed he had to be grateful. Neither Mr. or Mrs. Potter had mentioned what had transpired during the phone call with Sirius' parents, but it was clear they weren't going to allow Sirius not to return to Hawkings. Sirius wasn't about to complain either; it wasn't like he didn't want to go back to school, he just wanted someone to care whether he did or not.

Unable to stomach the thought of eating, Remus drank greedily from the class of water Effie had left and turned back over in bed. He was alone for a while longer, gaze lost on the intricately carved wardrobe of peacock feathers. He'd expected Sirius to come knocking eventually but surprisingly, it was James who came to him first.

"Moony?" Peeking his head in, James knocked gently on the open door. "You feeling alright, mate?"

Remus grunted at him. His mouth tasted vile and his breath was probably worse, but he didn't feel hungover in a sick sort of way, just drained mentally. LSD did that to you, left you feeling fleshly and benign, like a conscious tumour. There was a reason people lost themselves in it, even Remus felt tempted at times. But the trip had been bad, he knew that now. At least most of the energy and jitters from the night before had melted away, and the hallucinations had stopped. Thankfully.

"Not hungry?" James asked, coming in and surveying his untouched breakfast.

Remus sat up, holding his head. "No... feel like shit. You?"

James shrugged. "Feels sorta weird, like I'm still moving in slow motion, but Mum and Dad haven't really noticed. I did wake up absolutely famished though." Sitting down on the edge of the bed, James illustrated this by picking up a piece of cold bacon from Remus' plate and gobbling it down. "Di'h yooh read yer no'h?" He asked over a full mouth.

Remus nodded, plucking the note from the bedside and ripping it into little pieces to keep his hands busy. "How mad was Giles?"

"Duh'no." James swallowed. "But Mum said he was perfectly pleasant. Guess we'll see when he comes to get you. If I were you, I'd give him the bell soon though."