It's been 4 months since that night. 4 achingly long months since you found Ashton with another girl. After the "talk" you shared, something over came you and you knew you had to leave. All your stuff was gathered, you made yourself as presentable as possible and fled your hotel room to take the long road home. For weeks after, you received an endless amount of calls not just from Ashton but Calum, Michael and Luke as well. A few times you came to answering but that sudden sickening feeling came back to stop you just before you could. You distanced yourself from anything 5 seconds of summer related and, although there was the occasional fan who recognized you and passed a comment, you felt like things were finally starting to get easier. Of course it's impossible to miss them out completely. You had heard a few rumours and from what you have gathered Ashton is doing fine.
One morning however as you swipe and swat at your hair to get ready for work, you are interrupted by the doorbell ringing. As you gather yourself and the door you are shocked by who you find standing innocently on the other side. Luke's eyes meet yours and he smiles shyly.
"Do you have a minute?"
"Erm, I-I guess sure, come in. I'm heading off to work soon though."
"It's fine, this will only take a minute"
You step out of the way to let him in and you notice how much he has changed in such little time, but you can't help but think, has Ashton changed too?
"I don't want to keep you so I'll make this quick," Luke starts as you nod in acknowledgement. "I know what Ashton did was terrible, inexcusable and I'm not here to give an excuse for him. But ever since you left he has been an absolute wreck. I've never seen him like this before and we're all worried about him. He's disgusted with himself, [Y/N]"
"I- but I thought-"
"Look please, I'm not asking you to forgive him or get back together with him, but Michael, Calum and I would like you to come and see him. Just talk to him and show him you don't hate him. It might help cheer him up or give him a bit of closure. Please?"
Millions of thoughts rush through your head at once. You don't know if your quite ready to see him again, but that's really quite selfish. Do you even want to see him? Eventually you realize that your mouth hanging low and you are subconsciously staring at Luke while he waits for an . Curiosity ultimately got the better of you and you nod hesitantly in reply.
"Thank you, [Y/N]. We have a bit of so we'll be at the band house for a while. What time do you get off work?"
"I at 4 so I guess I can be there at like 4:30"
"Great. We'll make sure he's in then. Thank you, again. I'll go now and let you get on with things"
That whole day through work you were distracted and off-guard. It had never crossed your mind that you would have to face Ash again. The idea left a twisting feeling in your head, in the pit of your stomach and in your chest. As you left work and drove towards the looming situation you tried to figure out if it was fear or excitement.
All the way up the drive way your head screamed 'leave you're not ready' but your feet kept on until you reached the door. While ringing the bell you noticed your hand shaking slightly. Michael opened the door and you sighed in relief.
"Hi Michael"
"Oh my god, come in [Y/N], come in. Ashton's in the back room"
The closer you got the louder the sound of drums being smashed got. Michael urged you just to go in. You slowly prodded the door and tried to hold back sting in your eyes as you saw him. His hair had outgrown and flew everywhere as he drummed. His muscles has almost doubled in size but you occasionally caught a glimpse of those familiar, glowing hazel eyes. All at once the drumming stopped and the sticks fell to the floor. He cautiously stood from the stool and you noticed a slight quiver in his lip.
"[Y/N]? W-What are you em, doing here?" His eyes took great difficulty in making contact with yours.
"Hi Ash," you smiled widely at hearing his voice.
"I heard you had some time off. I eh, just wanted to see how you were"
"I'm fine, I guess, how have you been?" you stared taking steps forward and he hesitantly copied.
"I've been ok, you know not great but ok. I've missed you," suddenly you don't know why you ever thought it was fear. Just being around him brought back all the bottled up feelings you felt at home.
"H-have you?" his voice began to shake.
"Of course I have. I mean yes I was incredibly hurt but, Ash, I still feel the same"
"I'm so unbelievably sorry [Y/N], you have no idea-" and that's when the tears came, not from you but from Ashton.
You went to him and held your arms open to him. He took you and nuzzled into your neck.
"Shh, it's ok, Ash. I know, I know"
"I can't ever for-forgive myself. I was s-so stupid"
"Ash I forgive you it's ok"
"But I st-still love you and I have ruined any chance of being with you"
You can feel his body shake against yours a little. You slowly tilt his head up and place a soft chaste kiss to his lips. Not long enough to really express emotions but enough for your body to realize how much you craved another and how long your lips had been without him. As you pulled away you could see the look of astonishment that had formed on Ashton's face.
"You need to to me. I forgive you, Ash. I may not be able to trust you and everything but I've heard what you have been going through and I-" and then there you go, you are overwhelmed by how fast everything has happened and the feelings swarm around you.
"I swear I will do a-anything I can to show you how truly sorry I am. Everyday I will show just how m-much you mean to me"
"It's ok, Ash"
"I love you so much [Y/N]," he says into your neck.
"I love you too, Ash"
