Hosted by -Chrysalis_Realm
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The Fanfiction Genre
"Between Two Worlds: A Prequel to the Mandalorian Series"
Finished in 3rd place out of 20 competitors.
Scoring and Review by lantea-:
Basic Introduction (18 points): The cover fits the story and is appealing. The art is pretty and it represents Kyra well. The font is a little plain and doesn't feel like Star Wars, but the title is easy to read. The author name at the top is a little hard to read. The title is appealing and it fits the story, however, it's a little long. The blurb introduces the story and characters well.
First Impression (5 points): Chapter three is an hour long and chapter four is twenty-four minutes long. Those chapters were long and I suggest breaking them up so they're not as overwhelming for the readers. After reading some of The Mandalorian and the Jedi for the science fiction judging, it was interesting to learn more about Kyra's background and see how these events affected her and made her who she is.
Story Mechanics (20 points): The plot is alright, a lot of what I read seemed to be from The Clone Wars and Obi-Wan Kenobi with Kyra added. For those who have seen the shows, these parts can be a little boring. The action from those scenes weren't as engaging, try adding more descriptions and showing Kyra's feelings. Kyra is a well-thought-out character and her personality is clearly shown throughout the chapters. The author clearly put a lot of thought into her background and how she fit into the existing stories. The characters from Star Wars are true to themselves and depicted accurately throughout the story. The author did a good job with Yoda's dialogue, he can be a hard character to accurately portray due to the strange way he speaks.
Grammar & Vocabulary (19 points): I noticed a few spelling errors and spots where an incorrect word was used, but it wasn't anything that distracted from the story.
Writing Style (17 points): The pacing of the story was good, except for chapter three. Chapter three felt like the pace was slower even though there was a lot of action going on. The writing style was done well. The author worked information and descriptions into the story well. Some of the scenes could have used more descriptions to describe the actions happening.
Short Review (79 total points): Overall, the book is interesting, however it could use some work. Kyra is an interesting and well-thought-out character. During the parts from the Star Wars shows, make sure to include more of Kyra's point of view of these events. Repeating the show events with little change gets boring for those who know them. The action scenes could use more descriptions so the author isn't simply telling the readers what's happening and is showing them instead. Good luck with your story!
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The Paranormal/Horror Genre
"Always Faithful"
Honorable Mention
Scoring and Review by lantea-:
Basic Introduction (16 points): The picture of the cover is cool and I like that the character's name is on the heart. The font is a little plain and I feel like it doesn't really fit the cover and story. I suggest centering the author name on the cover. The title is appealing and fits the story. The blurb introduces the characters and the story well. It definitely draws readers in and makes them want to read the story.
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An Author's Portfolio
Não FicçãoInside this portfolio, you will find the results from competitions I have entered my stories into, whether those results are awards my books have won, reviews given by my fellow authors and hosts, or honorable mentions. Ten Highest Rankings: #226 in...