bumblebee's journey (book 1)

41

~~~~weird backwards time skip~~~~

Bumblebees pov: 

::Highfire I'm sorry to many bots need me to take those risks:: I said. My missions gathered valuable Intel on the cons that saved lives like where the next battle or missile was going to be at. Highfire Walked up and placed his servor on my shoulder. "I need you..... don't you get it" he said very loudly actually and he had a small bit of coolant in his optics. I knew he cared for me but never to this extent I didn't want to see him cry. Maybe I should just agree with him right now. "You don't get it do you I need you- rainshot needs you- Cascade needs you and you risk your life like you don't care for it" he pleaded further yelling it this time. I searched his face looking for any sign of something. {look what you did} A voice hissed in my mind. {He hates you you messed things up and now look at him} it stated again I tried to push it out but I couldn't.

Highfire started taking steps toward me hostile ones. ::highfire I'm sorr-:: He cut me off. {He doesn't even want to hear you} I took one step back before he yelled. "NO I DON'T WANT YOUR APOLOGY I WANT YOU TO PROMISE ME YOU'LL BE SAFER" he yelled hostility showing in his optics. He swung his server at me and it barley missed my helm. He took another step towards me.and I fearfully started taking steps away. I was scared at this point he was way bigger than me to. I didn't say anything and just looked up at him my spark racing with fear. {You can't even answer him you messed up so badly you did the one thing you were so pose to do wrong} the voice hissed again making me feel less and less safe by the second. My breath quickened when I realized how small this area was and with highfire my best friend suddenly angry at me. What had I done too mess it up so bad my best friend hates me.

  "PROMISE ME" he yelled and took loud stomps that shook the bread he walked. I took quicker steps back and all I could thunk about was this. I cowered away not taking my gaze off of him unsure what to do. My spark beat faster and faster in my chassis and I could barley breathe. ::I-I -I:: I stumbled out unable say anything else. I kept backing up until hit the dreaded wall behind me. I took a quick glance around me I was cornered. I put my arms up in defense frozen to the spot. My mind was clouded with horror and I couldn't think straight. {failure} I felt the sick bile rising with fear. I locked optics with highfire and didn't look away. They were blazing with anger and hate and it was all for me. My breath was coming in short shallow gasps. "YOUR GOING TO DO WHAT I TELL YOU" he yelled and at that moment I couldn't thunk all I knew was fear, horror.  'what are you doing'

Then he raised his server bringing it down swiftly across my face. I was sent downward falling to the ground landing on my side but I pushed myself up to the side of my legs. I slowly looked back at my furious friend if he even considers me one anymore. {of course he doesn't you messed up} then he took more steps standing over me. "SAY IT" he yelled. I looked on with horror and I could feel the coolant filling up in my optics. "HIGHFIRE" someone yelled and he turned his helm to look at them but I didn't take my optics off of him. I couldn't move I was to scared I lay there still on the ground. I used my arm to cover my face afraid he might strike me again. He looked back at me the coolant leaked down my face. I flinched when his angry gaze returned. His optics went wide with realization. "no bee I'm sorry" he tried to apologize by reaching out to grab my servor. 

I pulled it back as fast as I could and held it close to my chassis. I was afraid of what he would do I wouldn't let him get close enough to have the chance. I pressed back harder against the wall trying to get away. He stumbled backwards shock glistening in his optics but still I did not look away. Someone ran up and dropped to the ground beside me. The pulled my helm to look at them. I was rainshot she had fear and concern on her face. "Bumblebee" she said trying to get me to say something but I couldn't so I just sat there in silence. "come on bumblebee say something" still I said nothing instead I sat up on my knees. {Look what you've done} the voice hissed again. I shook my helm to try get rid of it but it was no use. {Your nothing but a worthless scout} it hissed again. 'what do you want who are you' I knew it couldn't be the allspark it had taken its wisdom with it when we shot it off cybertron.  I pleaded in my mind. {I am the truth speaker and I am here to reveal the truth and that is that you mean nothing to them} it continued shoulder

I felt the presence of another bot come down beside me. "Bee what happened are you hurt" I didn't say anything my mind was racing with fear. I searched the ground looking over my shoulder worried someone might be there. Then I felt the long gentle strokes of Rainshots small servors running over my back. I let my frame relax and my door wings out. I slipped into the cool tranquility of the feeling. I looked up at her my spark still racing. "Its ok your safe no one is going to hurt you ok" ahe said holding the side of my helm in her servors. "will you tell us what happened what did highfire do" cascade asked. At the mention of his name my spark flicked with fear for a moment. "maybe not yet cascade but he'll tell us when he's ready or we could go ask....him" she said avoiding using is name. "Yeah lets get you back to base ok" cascade said pulling me up. We stood up and started walking were we had our small meet with optimus and ratchet. {Failure} the voice hissed again. 'its right I am just a stupid....... Failure'

Cascades pov:

We made it back to camp and it was nearing the end of the day. Bee was in the med tent with ratchet looking after him. While me and Rainshot waited looking at each other. "we have to go ask him" I finally let out. I didn't want to but we had to, we had to go ask highfire. "I agree but lets make it quick i-i just don't know what to think anymore" ahe said tilting her helm back almost like a silent scream. We had known he was in the recharge room so that's were we went. We entered and spotted him lying on a cot in the far corner of the room. We made are way over to him. "Highfire" I said gain I this attention. He sat up looking at us. Deep sorrow making his optics dull. "We need to know what happened tell us now" I said sternly determined to know why he had bee cornered. He gave a sad nodd. "I found him passed out with a con standing over him I fought off the con and bee had woken up, I had asked him to be more careful but he said to many bots depending on him, on his missions" 

The new con bit scared me but I got the part where he was worried for bee. I had always known bee would have denied leaving his missions and it was true many bots did depend on his insight. I nodded for him to continue wanting to hear the hole story as fast as possible. "than something inside me was angry and I got angry it told me I needed to show him I would make him do what I wanted and I lost control I got so angry he was so scared I cornered him and......... And I hit him" I looked at him stunned at all the information but when he said he struck bee I was also angry. He did those things just because something would him to. "What makes yo-" rainshot cut me off. "Than what" she said coldly and I closed my mouth. "I was about to hit him again when you showed up and I realized what I had done............. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it please I want to apologize to him" he pleaded but this time I had heard enough. 

"no you've already done enough damage for one day" I said and turned away. "Do you know the 'voice'" Rainshot asked on finale question. "When I asked it it said it was the allspark like ratchet but can you tell him I'm sorry" he pleaded again. I didn't turn back around and Rainshot turned around to. "Please sweetspark" he said trying to get Rainshot to listen. "no were not doing this right now I'm done with you........... For now" she replied coldly and walked away leaving highfire behind us. 'Did we do The right thing'