bumblebee's journey (book 1)

49

~~~~Time skip two days~~~~

Bumblebees pov:

::rainshot please not now, I'm not hungry:: I said as she continued to press the energon cube towards me. "Bumblebee come on I know you miss him but you can't neglecting your own health" she said again and set the cube down in front of me again from where I sat on a bench. She started to rub my back but I wasn't in the mood. ::rainshot stop not now:: I snapped and got up and walked away. I knew I should eat but I just couldn't, it was to...... painful. "Bumblebee" I heard ratchet call to me from behind. I turned around sharply knowing that he would try to get me to eat. He was standing beside rainshot holding the same energon cube. "Bumblebee please, look if you don't eat I'm going to have to confine you to base and you won't be able to help in any of the battles" he pressed moving forward to me offering the energon cube to me again.

I started to bristle with rage as he spoke. ::WHY, why do I have to if I don't want to just give it to some bot who actually needs it:: I yelled back at them. Ratchet started to get irritated. "YOU, you need it" he said walking up to me. He tried to place a servo on my shoulder but I moved away. ::just leave me alone:: I said and stormed off toward the entrance of our makeshift camp leaving them behind. ::please I'm 15 I can do whatever I want I don't need anyone to take care of me:: I muttered to myself. I walked out and ran directly into Optimus. ::o-optimus sorry:: I mumbled out and started walking away again. I was still in no mood to talk to anybot. "Bumblebee" he said in a questioning tone. I paused for a moment not looking back at him. I didn't want to talk to a spark.

::yes Optimus:: I said over my shoulder. "Are you ok" he questioned and I wanted to tell, I wanted to cry. Something in those breef words struck me. But I shook my helm and replied. ::I'm fine:: I said and continued to walk away. "bumblebee you can tell me anything that is bothering you" he added as I walked away. I nodded my helm not looking back at him. I didn't know what to do anymore I wasn't angry I wasn't sad. I felt empty like nothing was inside me anymore. Or did I feel everything at once. I shook my helm I didn't know what I should do so I drove. I transformed and drove off faster than slower and moving in between objects and ruble. Finally I transformed and let out a huff and sat down. I hung my helm and just thought about everything. Highfire always loved to watch me speed around and is give him a ride when I could.

"Your mighty fine at driving" I heard the cold voice of a femme I now hated. I wiped around and met the cold face of viper. my blood boiled in my fuel lines. "Isn't it nice to see you again I do hope you both made it out ok" she said almost in a friendly tone. ::you, he's gone because of you:: I hissed and jumped at her. She looked startled and backed away but I was faster pinning her to the ground. "What could I have possibly done" she hissed back to me from underneath her. ::you took control of him you told him to drop me than you took the only ship and left me and him with a one bot pod" I growled back pushing her into the ground as we struggled together. She pushed up quickly and rolled over pinning me to the ground instead. She hissed close to my face and leaned down to my audio receptors.

"Well is it my fault or is it yours for taking the only pod" she hissed raising one of her long sharp leg blades. Grief overwhelmed me I knew I didn't take it but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was my fault. ::take it back:: I said as the coolant started to well up in my optics as I held her leg away from me. "No, it's your fault he's dead and you know it and looks like I did completely what Megatron told me to do" she hissed back as I fought to get up. ::and what's that:: I growled back pushing the coolant from my optics. "To hurt you" she said, I looked at her his whole plan is to make my life miserable and I gave up lying on the ground. She  looked surprised but didn't hesitate to raise a blade to my neck. I couldn't move to weak and sad all at the same time.

"Are you ready to die bug" she hissed but I didn't have anymore fight in me I couldn't talk so I just layed there looking into her deep crimson optics. "S-say something" she stammered out but still I stayed silent. Everything washed over me in painful burst. "Your pitiful and will die a coward" she hissed and raised her leg readying it to strike. 'face them with no fear' highfires words rang in my helm and I got a new determination to fight again. I pushed upwards with all I had launching her off me. "Aggg stupid bug you just don't die" she hissed and lunged at me but stoped when someone yelled. "BUMBLEBEE" I turned to face the bot who had said it. Optimus was standing beside ratchet. "Scrap" viper hissed under her breath before looking at me again before looking over her shoulder for a escape root. I was breathing in rapid gasps for air.

"Maybe that's for the best" she hissed and jumped away. I started to run after her I wouldn't let her get away not after what she did. ~bumblebee stop~ and I froze in my steps. 'Who had said that' the allspark but how it shouldn't be able to talk from so far away. ~she is not worth it, it is not your fault let it go~ It said and I shook my helm. 'why, I let him die' I pleaded inside me helm. ~im sorry but it will all come to you in time~ it said and then the voice vanished again. I stoped and turned back to ratchet and Optimus I was angry and I still wanted to chase after viper but I knew if the allspark told me not to than I wouldn't. I clench my fist and looked away from Optimus and ratchet who were walking up to me. I was still bristling with rage from my short battle and how I knew optimus would scold.me.for being so reckless.

"Bumblebee calm down she's gone" ratchet said shifting his peds nervously. "WHY shes the reason highfires gone" I hissed back my rage becoming more intensive. "Bumblebee well talk about this but first we need you to calm down" Optimus said reaching out to me. I moved away and snarled at him under my mask. ::And why should you care:: I growled and Optimus got a hurt look in his optics but at this point I didn't care. ::why do you think just because you 'saved me' I will willing do whatever you want:: I hissed back knowing I would still follow him to the end of the world and back but something inside me was angry with him. "Bumblebee please your not thinking straight" ratchet said trying to reach out to me aswell but this time in a faster motion, like he was trying to catch me off guard. ::NO don't touch me:: I said suddenly fearful. I took a few trembling steps back.

I was confused I didn't know wether to feel angry or scared I didn't know anything. "Bumblebee are you ok" Optimus asked and slowly started taking long strides towards me. I let him get close I didn't know what to do but I know that he would but at the same time I wanted to real back and let him get no where near. At first I backed up then slowly let hum get close as he continued. ::I-i don't know please..... Help:: I whimpered and leaned into him. I was so confused I didn't know what to feel. "It's ok I'm here we'll figure this out" he said and his words calmed me. They weren't formal they were kind like he was talking to an old friend. "It's ok bumblebee" he repeated and hugged me. Ratchet slowly walked up when I pulled away. His optics went wide and he reach out and held my face in his servo. I was so confused at what he had seen. "Your optics"