The Secret Of Us

four

I woke up in the morning and could immediately feel Travis' arms still around me, the recognizable warmth of sunlight on my back. We must not have stopped to close the curtains last night.

"Good morning Tay-Bug." Travis' rough, sleepy morning voice whispered in my ear as he bent to kiss my neck. "I know you're awake." His hand skimmed over my waist.

"Good morning." I whispered, blinking my eyes open and turning my head. We'd turned in the night so Travis had ended up spooning me, and we were still lying in that position. "How'd you sleep?" I asked quietly.

"Incredibly." Travis murmured, leaning down as his lips searched for mine, seeking a kiss which he eventually got. I rolled over, trying not to break the kiss, to place my hand on his neck and hold him close. 

God, we'd really blurred the line. My eyes touched on the wedding ring settled on my left hand and I swallowed. I wore no engagement ring, just a wedding ring, because technically Matty had never proposed to me. We'd just gotten married and bought rings later. I felt awful having it there.

"It's okay." Travis mumbled, and I looked at him. "You can't divorce him Bug, I understand that. I don't expect you to."

"I know." I swallowed. It wasn't like this thing with Travis was romantic. Just sexual, platonic. "It just feels awful."

"So take it off when you're with me." Travis suggested. "Don't be a Mrs with me, just be my Bug."

I nodded, pulling my hand back to wriggle the ring off. Leaning over, I placed it on the nightstand with a clink, my finger feeling freer as I turned back into Travis' arms. It was still wrong to be cheating on my husband with the man I claimed to just be friends with, but a little less wrong now I wasn't wearing the thing that made me look like a wife. 

"So." Travis tucked some hair out of my face. "Every single detail of this has to stay between us Bug, we can't tell anyone anything."

"I know." I nodded. "We won't. Just act normal, no one will ever have to know."

We talked a little bit about rules and measures as we lay there. No fooling around if we weren't alone - but I suspected that rule would be broken soon enough - no hinting at anything in public, keeping up the best friends image. We had to be careful of hickies and marks, but they weren't a no go. We could mask them, create excuses, and Matty was wasted often enough that I could claim he'd put them on me and he'd never believe otherwise. It was manipulation, but I was a bad enough person that I didn't really care. I'd had enough of my 'marriage'.

I had a studio session so had to leave just after ten, and Travis had practice for the game tomorrow. He dropped me at the studio and ruffled my hair before I left. We didn't say a word, just shared a look as I got out of the car to where security was waiting for me. I'd borrowed one of his hoodies since it was colder, and I tucked the sleeves over my hands as I was escorted inside the studio.

"Hey, there she is." Jack looked up and smiled at me when I walked into the room, closing the door behind me.

"Sorry I'm late." I sighed, running my hands through my hair. Jack looked me up and down, and I knew he could tell. I definitely looked like sex.

"Well good to know Matty finally stepped it up." He shrugged, and I went red, mumbling something incoherent as I dropped onto the couch and pulled my guitar towards me.

I didn't want to let it happen, but a new song was tugging at the edges of my mind. Slow, dark, sensual. I had no doubt as to where the inspiration came from. This would be a song about last night, but I had to disguise it enough so that people would never know it wasn't about my husband. There was no point pushing the song away. It would just keep coming back until I wrote it.