The Secret Of Us

seventeen

I knew how hard it was for Travis to be the strong one in this situation, but he seemed to push his terror away in favor of grabbing my face in his hands and forcing it up so I had to look at him. His eyes were red with tears like mine were, his bottom lip trembling, and I could see the effort he was putting in to be there for me amongst his pain.

"Bug." He rasped. "Bug you can't fall apart now. Not now."

"I can't!" I cried, barely able to hold my own weight up. 

"You have to!" Travis snapped, shocking me with the tone of his voice. "Bug I know how you feel but we can't let ourselves fall apart. Not when she needs us. Because she fucking needs us." He said insistently. "Our baby girl is scared, probably with someone she doesn't know. We need to get out there and find her right now. And I need you to pull yourself together long enough so we can do that because I am holding on by a damn thread and I can't do this without you Bug I just can't."

Sobbing, I slammed my lips together and nodded. He was right. I wanted to cry and scream and die to stop this pain, but our baby girl was out there and she needed us. She was just a baby. Our baby. This was when we had to be strong. And I would burn the whole world down twice over to get her back. 

Travis helped me up, and as we fought not to break down, we shoved clothes back on and bolted from the house as fast as we could. The sun was just about to start setting as we rushed to drive to the park where Jason and Kylie were, and I had to hold on tight to his hand so that he didn't drive too fast and get us pulled over before we got there. 

I could see the red and blue lights before we drove around the corner to the park. And when we did, I could see Jason and Kylie holding their three girls close, talking to a few police officers. A few other people were there too, maybe people who had been in the park when Clover had vanished. I could see her empty stroller at Kylie's side, and my heart shattered. It suddenly felt so real that she was missing.

"Trav." I whimpered, suddenly unable to get out of the car.

"I know Bug." He choked, wiping under his eyes. "I know."

Trembling, I reached for the door and shoved it open, forcing myself out. Travis stepped out as well and grabbed my hand, holding it so tightly that it hurt, but I clung to that pain and held his back as hard as I could. We rushed over to Jason and Kylie, and Kylie immediately put Bennett in Jason's arms when she saw us, running to meet me. I let go of Travis' hand and flung my arms around her, holding her tightly as she sobbed against my shoulder.

"Taylor I'm so sorry." Kylie cried, shaking like a leaf. "I'm so fucking sorry I swear we didn't mean for anything to happen to her."

"I know." I sobbed back. "Ky we don't blame you." Even though it would be so easy to blame them for Clover's disappearance, I couldn't. Jason and Kylie were amazing parents and this was not their fault. "We just need to get her back." I whispered, and Kylie looked at me. "We don't blame you." I whispered, shaking as tears rolled down my cheeks. Kylie was crying just as hard as I was.

"Are you Clover's parents?" A police officer approached, and Travis and I nodded. 

"Do you have any idea where she is?" Travis begged.

"I'm sorry sir I can't..."

"Yes you fucking can." I stalked a few steps towards him, jabbing my finger. "You may not know what it's like to fear for your child's life so I am going to tell you right now, yes you fucking can tell us what you know. And you will, because that is my baby girl somewhere out there and I will not stop until I get her back!" My voice had risen from demanding to pleading, desperate. "So tell me what you know!" I sobbed as Travis wrapped his arms around me to try and calm me down. "Please." I whispered.