For nearly forty years this story has given faithful service to the Young in Heart; and Time has been powerless to put its kindly philosophy out of fashion. To those of you who have been faithful to it in return ...and to the Young in Heart ...we dedicate this story.
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We open to Lima, Ohio, (tinted in colors) young boy who is wearing a light blue overall gingham over his white shirt, chestnut hair and black shoes. This is Kurt Hummel running down the country road with his small cairn terrier dog, Toto.
Kurt: (Worried) She isn't coming yet, Toto. Did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she? Come on, we'll go tell Dad and Carole. Come on Toto. (He rushes home to tell his parents, Burt and Carole. But they're concerned about the broken incubator and they're counting the chicks. Kurt flings the gate open and he is running up to his dad) Dad! Dad! Dad! Just listen to what Miss Sylvester did to Toto.
Burt: (Not listening) Kurt, please we're trying to count.
Kurt: (Protesting) But Dad she hit him.
Carole: Don't bother us, honey. This old incubator's gone bad and we're likely to lose a lot of our chicks.
Kurt: (Sees the chick, concerned and picks it up) Oh, the poor little things. (Gets back on the subject) But, Dad. Miss Gulch hit Toto right over with the back of a rake. Just because she says he gets in her garden, he chases her nasty old cat every day.
Burt: (Continues counting) Seventy, Kurt, please!
Kurt: Oh, but he doesn't do it every day. Just once or twice a week. He can't catch her old cat anyway. And now she says she's gonna get the sheriff.
Burt: Kurt, Kurt, we're busy.
Kurt: Oh, all right.
Kurt walks away to the backyard. His friends from William McKinley High School: Artie, Mercedes, Brittany, Rachel, Santana, and his stepbrother Finn are fixing a wagon in the farmyard.
Finn: How's she coming?
Blaine: Take it easy. (Hurts his finger) Ow! You got my finger!
Santana: Why don't you get your finger out of the way? There you are.
Blaine: Right on my finger.
Mercedes: It's a lucky thing it wasn't in your head.
Kurt: Finn, what am I going to do about Sue Sylvester? Just because Toto chases her old cat-
Finn: Listen Kurt, I got them hogs to get in.
Blaine: Now look it Kurt, you're not using your head about that Sue Sylvester. You'd think you didn't have any brains at all.
Kurt: I have so got brains.
Hunk: Well, why don't you use them? When you come home don't go by Sue Sylvester's place. Then Toto won't get in her garden, and you won't get in no trouble see?
Kurt: Oh, Blaine, you just won't listen, that's all.
Hunk: Well, your head ain't made of straw you know.
He hurts his finger again, while hammering. Finn is herding the pigs into the enclosure. Kurt gets up on the fence and started to balance walk on it.
Finn: Say, get in there before I make a dime bank out of you. (To Kurt) Listen, bro, are gonna let that old Sue Sylvester heifer try and buffalo you? She is nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage, that's all.
Kurt: I'm not afraid of her. She's just crazy.
Finn: Well, the next time she squawks, walk right up to her and spit her in the eye. That's what I'd do.
Kurt falls into the pig sty. This causes Finn help Kurt out before he gets trampled.
Kurt: (Scared) Oh! Oh! Finn! Help! Help me, Finn! Get me out of here! Oh my God.
Finn picks up Kurt and carries him out of the pig sty. Mercedes, Rachel, Artie, Santana, Brittany, and Blaine are concerned about what happened to Kurt.
Rachel: Are you all right, Kurt?
Kurt: Yes, I'm all right. Oh, I fell in, and Finn. Why, Finn you're just as scared as I am.
Blaine: (Jokingly) What's the matter? You're gonna let a little old pig make a coward out of you?
Artie: Look at you, Finn.
Burt: Here, here, whats all this jabber-wapping where there's work to be done? I know six shiftless farm hands that'll be out of the job, before they know it.
Rachel: Well, Kurt was walking along-
Burt: I saw you tinkering with that contraption, Rachel. Now you guys get back to that wagon.
Rachel: All right, Mr Hummel. But someday, they're gonna react a statue to me in this town.
Burt: Well, don't start posing for it now. (Santana laughs and Burt gives them fresh baked crullers) Here, here, can't work on an empty stomach, have some crullers.
Brittany: (Takes a cruller) Thanks, Mr Hummel.
Rachel: (Takes one as well) Thanks.
They walk back to the wagon.
Burt: Just fried.
Finn: You see, Kurt toppled into-
Burt: It's no place for Kurt around a pigsty! Now you go feed those hogs before they worry themselves into anemia!
Zeke: (Gets up and nodding his head) Yes, sir.
Kurt: (Takes the cruller) Dad really, you know what Miss Sylvester said she was going to do to Toto? She said she was gonna-
Burt: (Sternly) Now, Kurt, son. Stop imagining things. You always get yourself into a fret over nothing. (Starts patting his back.) Now, you just help us out today and find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble.
He walks away.
Kurt: (To himself) Someplace where there isn't any trouble. (To Toto) Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away. Behind the moon... Beyond the rain (Singing) When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the cloud darken up the skyway
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your windowpane
To a place behind the sun
Just a step beyond the rain
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare
To dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh, why can't I? (The birds are singing as the sun shines through the clouds.)
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh, why can't I?
YOU ARE READING
The Wizard of Oz: Glee Edition
FantasiaWhen a tornado rips through Lima, Ohio, Kurt (Chris Colfer) and his dog, Toto, are whisked away in their house to the magical land of Oz. They follow the Yellow Brick Road toward the Emerald City to meet the Wizard, and en route they meet a Scarecro...
