A coachman arrives as Kurt and his friends enter the Emerald City. The man inside reminds Kurt of Artie.
Carriage driver: Cabby! Cabby! Just what you're looking for. Take you any place in the city, we does.
Kurt: Would you take us to see the Wizard?
Carriage driver: The Wizard? The Wizard? Yes, of course. But first I'll take you to a little place where you can tidy up a bit up.
Kurt: Oh, thank you so much! (Kurt and his friends go in the carriage) We've been gone such a long, and we feel so mess- (Sees the horse purple) What kind of a horse is that?! I've never seen a horse like that before!
Carriage driver: No, and never will again, I fancy. There's only one of them, and he's it. He's the horse of a different color you've heard tell about.
Laughing among with Kurt and his friends then gives them a ride
All: There's a garden spot
I'm told
where it's never too hot
and it's never too cold
Where you're never too young
and you're never too old
Where you're never too thin or tall
And you're never, never, never too, too, too anything at all
You're not too mad
and you're not too sane
And you don't compare
and you don't complain,
All you do is just sit tight
cause it's all
so, so, so, so down-right
right.
Ha-ha-ha!
Ho-ho-ho!
And a couple of tra-la-las
That's how we laugh the day
In the merry old land of Oz
Bzz, bzz, bzz!
Chirp, chirp, chirp!
And a couple of la-di-das
That's how the crickets crick all day
In the merry old land of Oz
We get up at twelve
And start to work at one
Take an hour for lunch
And then at two we're done
Jolly good fun!
Ha-ha-ha!
Ho-ho-ho!
And a couple of tra-la-las.
That's how we laugh a day
in the merry old land of Oz. (Kurt and his friends are delivered to the Wash and Brush up Co.)
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
That's how we laugh the day away with the
Ho-ho-ho!
Ha-ha-ha!
In the merry old land of Oz.
The scene changes where the beauticians are stuffing new straw in Scarecrow.
Scarecrow's beauticians: (Singing) Pat, pat here.
Pat, pat there.
And a couple of brand-new straws.
That's how we keep you young and fair.
In the merry old land of Oz.
Tin Girl's beauticians (Singing while polishing her and giving her red nails and red lips) Rub, rub here.
Rub, rub there.
Whether you're tin or bronze.
That's how we keep you in repair.
In the merry old land of Oz.
Kurt's beautician: (Singing while grooming Kurt) We can make a dimpled smile.
Out of frown.
Kurt: Can you even dye my eyes, to match my sky?
Beautician: Uh-huh!
Kurt: Jolly old town!
Lion's beauticians: (Singing while clipping his claws) Clip, clip here.
Clip, clip there.
We give the roughest claws.
Cowardly Lion: (Singing) The certain air of savoir-faire.
In the merry old land of Oz.
Kurt and his friends laugh as they leave the grooming place.
All: (Singing) That's how we laugh the day
in the merry old land of Oz
That's how we laugh the day away
With the ha-ha-ha
In the merry old land of Oz.
The Ozians laugh as they wave to Kurt and his friends, but suddenly the Witch appears in the sky flying on her broomstick while cackling madly and she writes a threatening message with black smoke in the sky.
Cowardly Lion: (Nervously to Kurt) Who's her? Who's her?
Kurt: It's the witch! She's followed us here!
Cowardly Lion: (Reading the message in the sky) "Surrender, Kurt or die."
Kurt gasped in fear.
Ozian woman: (Confused) Kurt? Who's Kurt?
Ozian woman 2: The Wizard will explain it!
Ozian man: To the Wizard!
Ozian man 2: To the Wizard!
Kurt: What are we going to do?
Scarecrow: Well, we better hurry if we're going to see the Wizard!
Kurt and his friends among with the worried crowd rushed to the Wizard's palace.
Wizard's guard: (Calming the crowd) Here! Here, here! Everything is all right. Stop that now, just. It's all right! Everything is all right! The great and powerful Oz has got matters well in hand. I hope. So you can all go home and there's nothing to worry about! Get out of here. Now go on. Go on home. Go home.
The worried crowd goes home as Kurt and his friends walk up to the guard.
Kurt: If you please sir, we want to see the Wizard right away. All four of us.
Wizard's guard: Orders are, nobody can see the great Oz! Not nobody, not nohow!
Kurt: Oh, but please! It's very important.
Cowardly Lion: And I got a permanent just for the occasion.
Wizard's guard: (Stubbornly) Not nobody, not nohow!
Scarecrow: But he's Kurt!
Wizard's guard: (Looks at Kurt) The witch's Kurt? (Understands) Well, that makes a difference. Just uh wait here and I'll announce you at once.
The guard goes inside the palace to talk to the Wizard while Kurt and his friends wait outside.
YOU ARE READING
The Wizard of Oz: Glee Edition
FantasyWhen a tornado rips through Lima, Ohio, Kurt (Chris Colfer) and his dog, Toto, are whisked away in their house to the magical land of Oz. They follow the Yellow Brick Road toward the Emerald City to meet the Wizard, and en route they meet a Scarecro...
