Alyssa's Sins

6. The Longest First Day

"Break your little heart, watch you take the fall, laughing all the way to the hospital," Alyssa sang softly to the radio, her voice ever so slightly off-key. Shouty July's fifth single had her tapping her tobacco-scented fingers to the electrifying rhythm. The cigarette twirled in her long, nimble digits as the pounding guitar riffs flowed through her, drugging her. She found herself desperately wishing to forget her torturous first day of school. Sadly, not even the power of Shouty July could create such a miracle.

She sipped the Heineken can and set it down on the table, in time with the final note. She sighed as the upbeat chords of the next track played. She glanced down at the depressed clown her right hand had been doodling for the past ten minutes, and sighed, envying the clown and its hopeless situation.

Alyssa knew she had to last the school day without smoking or at most 1 break, at least for now. Thus, she needed to distract herself and befriend the teachers. It was not going to be easy...

At 7am, she savoured a cigarette with her coffee and sandwich to calm herself for her breakfast. It was probably her favourite cigarette of the day - the bliss of a morning cigarette with coffee kickstarted her day. She was energised - finally it was the first day of middle school and she would work hard to keep her ambitions going!

She packed her bag and double-checked it to make sure she didn't forget anything and then left home by herself. She knew she had to be more independent even if things would become rocky. And independence she demonstrated - contrary to Mom's paranoia she was fine by herself. Knowing that it would take time for her to know where and when to smoke, she smoked another cigarette at 8am before school so she could last for the day. If necessary she could distract herself by doodling instead of smoking.

Time for school. Before entering class she washed herself a little bit in the girls' bathroom. But it didn't take long for one student to point out that her hands smelled like tobacco. Luckily she made the excuse that she passed by people smoking, which fooled the student... at least for now.

The lessons were interesting - accelerated math piqued her interest to the point she was fully focused in a lesson for the first time ever. The other subjects weren't as interesting but hey, she could advocate for herself to accelerate. If the teachers were lenient enough they could let her have a "toilet break" to go smoke... but that is a long time away.

Back to now, recess. Even though the lessons were interesting, many classmates gave her a hard time for smelling like tobacco smoke. A few classmates began creating rumors that Alyssa was a regular smoker, which Alyssa sternly denied. She knew she had to deny and make excuses in order to survive socially. Yes, the truth would probably have come out sooner or later, but by then they would've gotten to know Alyssa better and would accept her even if she smoked. At least that's what she thought.

She paced around the school, trying to figure out where the other students smoked so she could join them for lunch. Ultimately, she knew she had to be accepted by some students in order to survive this hormone-crazed middle school. However, she couldn't find a smoking area, so she had to ask a shady-looking student for the unofficial smoking area. The student introduced himself as Jasper and claimed to be the leader of a group of "Bad" students. 

Jasper, with a suspicious glare: "So who the fuck are you? One of the new students?"

Alyssa: "I'm Alyssa and this is my first day at school, I'm a sixth grader."

Jasper: "Interesting. What brought you here?"

Alyssa: "Yeah, many people have given me a hard time when my hands smelled like smoke. I said I didn't, of course, to stop the bullying. But..."

Jasper, in an authoritative tone: "Let's cut to the chase. I am an eighth grader and the leader of a group of bad students, called Baby Sharks. We often break the rules here, and you seem like a rule breaker, oh, do you actually smoke?"

Alyssa: "Actually, yes... I smoke 6-7 cigarettes a day. It's just tasty and enjoyable by the way."

Jasper: "So the rumours were actually true. I see, no problem. There is one toilet and an outdoor pit where you can sneak a cigarette every now and then, but you need to make up excuses. Apparently a few students have been allowed to smoke before... but I don't know if they still do that now. Since people are way more anti-smoking these days I doubt the teachers will turn a blind eye to it..."

Alyssa: "Understood. At least my father is well known so hopefully he can advocate for me. Besides, we ain't that bad, yet the school loves making examples of us as 'bad' students or even referring us for 'safeguarding'! It's madness!"

Jasper: "I agree! But society is against us. You can clearly see the horde of students brainwashed in favour of this 'safeguarding'. They bullied you because they were brainwashed. But you can do so wit"

Just then a few of those who bullied Alyssa interrupted her and decided to cause trouble. Alyssa had seen lunchtime bullying in movies before, but she didn't expect it to be on the first day...

The guy and girl interrupting: "So those rumours are true that you are a smoker! You hang out with the bad guy! Bitch!"

Alyssa: "Come on. I don't smoke."

Guy and girl interrupting: "Lies! I... (splashes juice at Alyssa)"

Jasper: "I am not a bad guy. Also, Zoey and Paardso, stop interrupting my conversation with Alyssa or you will regret it! And stop splashing juice at Alyssa!"

Zoey and Paardso left, pretending to be "Fine" with it. Alyssa had a suspicion they would plan something against her, but...

Jasper: "Don't worry Alyssa. I will defend you. Those bullies are Zoey and Paardso, two seventh graders who cause a lot of mischief. They have been in detention for a few times for their behaviour already."

Alyssa: "Oh, it's fine." 

The end of lunch bell abruptly ended the conversation.

Alyssa: "I gotta go for science class!"

Science class was a monotonous bore, with some students interrupting the teacher and others acting like eight year olds. The immaturity frustrated Alyssa so much that she screamed at the immature boys to shut up. In response, one of the immature boys tripped Alyssa. Alyssa got bruised badly enough to the point she was at the nurse for the rest of the day, screaming in pain. Fortunately nothing major was hurt, or else she would've needed to be taken to the hospital.

In order to calm herself down Alyssa tried her very best to distract herself using other things. She couldn't smoke or drink her pain away - at least not now. However, she could take a Paracetamol for quick relief - which drastically helped stop the pains of the bruises. It was a huge relief - Alyssa could finally calm down. She could use bruise cream to treat the bruises anyway. 

3:30pm. It was so quick. Passing the time with reading and online chess on chess.com did the trick. Unfortunately, Alyssa still had to watch out for the bullies in case they did anything to her. Fortunately the bullies (especially Zoey and Paardso) weren't determined enough to find Alyssa and do anything to her, so they left immediately. 

It was a tough day... but ultimately she managed to survive it. Though will she manage to survive middle school or will the stresses take an irreparable toll on her?