Alyssa's Sins

17. Self-Reliance to the Rescue

She wondered whether the school would even resume, let alone whether she would be able to skip grades. Thoughts, both positive and negative, intruded on her brain. What if she was living in an alternate world? What if she managed to leak this to the media? Would people be sympathetic to Alyssa against the Pluh Cult and inflexible teachers who hate acceleration, or would this backfire?

At this point, with all that is happening around her, she didn't care how many cigarettes she smoked. She lit a cigarette for pleasure while writing down her plans in her diary.

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Alyssa's Diary, Sep 26th 2010

At this point, I will try to raise this to the media to fight against the Pluh Cult. They have gotten out of hand and need to be stopped immediately! I don't care how many cigarettes I smoke to pleasure myself and distract myself from this trauma! Besides, I love attention and admiration! I might as well do something nice! 

Raise it to a local paper... hopefully, it will help me go through this. But it would take a long time...

Well, at least I have my cigarettes to pleasure me. Sometimes I feel like I have a smoking fetish... I can always satisfy myself by smoking sensually with a cigarette holder (or, if not, using my hands sophisticatedly) and wearing satin gloves and a beautiful dress. Who cares if men stare at me? I want them to! They just shouldn't do anything stupid.

They will not stop me! 

In Alyssa We Trust!

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She used her trusty BlackBerry Storm 2 to search for any local newspapers she could share this story with. Eventually, she found a small local newspaper that was open to new stories—the Arlington Schooling Chronicles. Though it was a couple miles from her home, there was a bus that took her within 100 yards of the headquarters. 

She needed a lot more witnesses to convince the newspaper to publish this story and fight the Pluh Cult, so she called Mia, Lucas Jones, and her hardline supporters. It was imperative she get their witness statements and supporting statements in order to bolster her case.

The calls were all quick and great, except for one call to Mia. Mia was very skeptical and began having a panic attack when Alyssa explained the situation and how Mia would need to step up. She exclaimed she had panic disorder and social anxiety that might cause her to panic and thus embarrass herself in front of an audience. 

Time was of the essence in order for Mia to calm down. Alyssa frantically searched with her phone for psychological tips to calm those with panic attacks. Then a thought popped out in her head—nose breathing for 3 seconds, holding breath, 4-second exhale, 3 seconds—and she blurted it out immediately.

Mia was about to explode! She had to do it, whatever it took! Breath after breath was barely holding her back from panicking. Alyssa inadvertently ended up repeating her phrases, which had a calming effect on Mia.

Finally... Mia calmed down with a cigarette. Alyssa smoked another cigarette. It hit the spot—the nicotine rush was perfect; even the lung hit was perfect. She knew she was damaging herself, yet she didn't really care. Even if she had a cough due to it, she could always smoke her first cigarette of the day to stop the cough.

She went back home after telling Mia they would go together along with friends and Lucas Jones to the media tomorrow. Meanwhile, the police were investigating. But Alyssa didn't care; she rallied all the friends she could while she was smoking cigarettes. She put the butts in her overflowing ashtray and then dumped them into a bin for cigarettes. The ashtray was getting dirty and black—a sign of Alyssa's heavy habit. By then she was smoking almost a pack a day and enjoying every cigarette, even when they were blackening her lungs. The enjoyment of the nicotine rush, combined with the tar and chemicals in her lungs, outweighed any "health effects" of her smoking.

Tomorrow she will take all her friends and Lucas Jones to the media. In order to satisfy her nicotine fix, she smoked while dangling the cigarette and talking to her friends, almost as if that cigarette was a natural extension of her breathing. Despite nearly dropping her cigarette on her dress, it looked natural—as if she was used to smoking half a pack a day. 

In order to satisfy herself even more, Alyssa decided to light up again right before entering the building. Some found this annoying, and even Lucas Jones looked at her with a stare. It felt as if her need to smoke came above her friends' survival, and Mia let Alyssa know this by screaming at her.

Things were becoming dicey. Mia called upon others to assist her, hoping that the increasingly common anti-smoking attitudes were enough to tip others into acting. One person did and attempted to pull Alyssa into the building.

Lucas Jones noticed this and rushed to separate the three from each other. Instinct struck... 

"Let Alyssa smoke! She wants to enjoy her cigarette! It's not your fucking right to stop her!" he cried, panicking in fear that the common nanny state attitudes have divided Alyssa's supporters.

One guy exclaimed, "She's so young! Don't you realize how much chemical and tar is being inhaled into her lungs every day?"

Lucas Jones blurted back, "Do you know how many types of preservatives and chemicals are in your junk food and alcohol? Way to go, judging people for their vices!"

The guy looked sheepish and embarrassed, muttering to himself, "I can't believe I can't answer this."

Alyssa came back, wondering what all the commotion was. "Just some judgmental dude..." Lucas Jones explained. Both of them walked into the newsroom, waiting for potential reporters... to report on the news.

It was a long wait... but finally some reporter came in. They asked what we were here for, and Alyssa answered that she had a lot of evidence and there was a decent news story. She showed the videos of the fighting at her middle school, some witness testimonies, etc.

The reporter, appearing to be intrigued, scanned through them. It was not the usual story, and besides, this drama could generate some views. However, would it really attract people to help Alyssa's cause? Or would it backfire, especially if the Pluh Cult had a strong enough PR team to paint Alyssa in a terrible light? After all, even Alyssa's supporters are beginning to betray her—all that is stopping them from breaking apart is Lucas Jones and Alyssa teaming up to maintain unity at all costs.

Alyssa decided to go for it. It's all she got—the Pluh Cult was becoming dangerous and resorting to physical violence in order to get what they want. Alyssa's habits were becoming indefensible under such circumstances. 

The hours of witness testimonies, giving evidence etc. were grueling. Absolutely grueling. Intrusive thoughts began invading Alyssa's head - what if the Pluh Cult were secretly hearing her? She somewhat believed it... though knew deep down they were not real. But what if they were really hearing her? It's... what even is reality?

All she had was her self-reliance. And that would determine her survival.