﹒ ◠ 𝓓𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝓓𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 ⊹ ﹒
Like any other drastic changing teenage life which involves of course an older guy with a large age gap.
˖🫐⋆࿐໋. "i came across those autumn eyes in a dream." ──★ ˙ ̟👼🏻!!
I don't want to feel, i don't want to feel anything. This time it strangely hurt, whenever i was hurting emotionally i'd get so used to it that the feeling only brought pleasure to my soul. Dazzled in shimmering wine. Now it's just a melochonic feeling. It hurts so much i can't even speak, everything hurts. God please just take me out of this world why do i even keep trying, i push and i push till i explode. Till i become a forest that has been destroyed and burnt to the last leaf that lay with some bravery and glory. I had no idea why i felt so destroyed and dead, it was like an exploited passionate shameful curse that had been inflicted onto me. Latching on for dear life.
๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖☕️˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚๑˖
Right now im smoking on a soon to be flat fag, watching as the particles fizzle up into the air, scurrying away. I'd need to spray myself with perfume so tom doesn't notice i thought. I know it's risky smoking in the home when tom is just a few feet away, he said he had to catch up on grading papers or some of that sort. So he'd be pretty distracted.
๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖☕️˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚๑˖
my brain was so tired and busy, full like a tight compartment. Dipped in more flavoured sauce you call enervated. "Delilah?" "Delilah!" I felt a pair of hands snatch the cigarette away from me, i watched as he stomped it hard on the ground beneath us, the brittle flames slowly drifting to death paradise. Lucky flames.
๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖☕️˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚๑˖
"What have i said about smoking!?" Toms voice raised, i wasn't as low as i thought i was, for example i was still feeling melancholic yet didn't submit to self harm.
