Mastermind || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 16 - Sofia

I got a notification as soon as they touched the door of my storage unit. So, I had to turn on the gasoline sprinklers and then light it up. Through my cameras, I watched everything burn to crisp in a matter of minutes. They couldn't open the reinforced metal door until everything turned to ash. I am glad I had this system up, but I'm sad I had to use it.

While watching the feed of the firemen going through some things, Aaron's name appeared on my screen.

"Hi, honey" I tease him, hoping he's not in too bad of a mood

"Hey, I am afraid I'll have to cancel our date tonight. I'm kind of tired and just want to go to bed" he says and he sounds pretty upset

"Oh, that's ok. Do you want me to come by and keep you company? We don't have to do anything, we can just hang out a bit" I suggest

"Sure, yes, that would be nice"

"Great. I'll get dressed and pick up food on the way over. Any preferences?"

"No. Get whatever you want. I'll be home in about half an hour"

"Alright. I'll be there in half an hour"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome. See you".

He doesn't sound well. He sounds absolutely drained, disappointed and exhausted. Did I cause this?

Feeling horrible, I wear his favorite set, I get his favorite food and dessert before I go to his place.

I knock on his door and he opens immediately. He smells incredible and his hair is wet, an inticator he just came out of the shower. But he looks anything but refreshed.

I set the bags on the table. "Is everything ok?" I feel like a hypocrite when I ask this

"Honestly, no" he answers, and my heart breaks.

I sit on the couch with him and take his hand. He looks down at our connected hands and he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb.

"We were working on a bigger case today. And for a moment, I thought we were close. I thought this shit was about to end. But it's a dead end again. I'm fucking tired of dead ends" he drops his head back against the couch.

"I'm really sorry" I say

"It's not your fault, angel" he replies.

It is...

"I'm really glad you're here" he adds

"Of course" I hug him in order to hide my guilty face. I can't meet his eyes right now.

We stay like this for some time. We don't bother to eat. Neither of us has an appetite right now. So we go straight to bed. Aaron pulls me in his arms and soothes me as he closes his eyes. He soothes me! The one who's destroying him.

As soon as he falls asleep, I escape his embrace and turn my back to him, too weak to face him. I've never felt this guilty before. I've never felt this sadness before. I've never cared about someone as much as I care for him right now. For a moment, I even considered turning myself in so he won't have to go through all this. When did I become selfless? It's weird and sad. I don't like it.

On the other hand, it would be a smart move for me to leave right now and disappear from the face of the earth. They're closing in too much. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to leave this time, because for the first time someone cares for me. Someone loves me. And I love him... But I'm actively hurting him. I'm not supposed to do that to him.

Could there be a good ending to this? He'll hate me when he finds out. Maybe it's better if he hates me and gets angry with me instead of thinking I left him. This way he'll know that I was the problem, not him. He doesn't deserve this.

I wipe my tears constantly so I don't wet the pillow and hold my sobs at a minimum. But I hold my breath the second I feel Aaron turning on the bed. He reaches over and rests his hand on my waist. He does that all the time when we're sleeping together because he likes to feel me by his side and I find that absolutely adorable. However, right now it causes me to cry harder.

"Sofia?" he whispers

"Yes?" I answer as calmly as possible

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, yes. Go back to sleep" I insist, keeping my back to him.

"Sof..." his voice is more serious now as he rolls me to my back.

His expression drops immediately. I start wiping my tears again. "I had a nightmare, that's all" I say, trying to sound not as childish as I feel

"Come here" he pulls me in his arms again and I wrap my arms around him, holding onto him with all my strength.

I don't want to lose him. I don't want him to regret me.

"I love you" I say

"I love you too, angel" he replies while rubbing my back.

I pull away and sit up for a moment. I want to look at him while I say this. "I love you, Aaron. I really do" I speak as I hold his cheek.

Aaron's hand comes up to my face and pushes my hair behind my ear before he holds my face up. With his thumb, he wipes away my remaining tear.

"I love you too, Sofia" he whispers and kisses my lips.

"Seriously. I love you, you are the best person I've ever met. And, no matter what happens, I want you to remember that" I insist

"I will. Everything will be alright, angel" he replies and kisses my softly.

But it won't be alright.