Cabin 13 ~Book 1~

16

*Sydney's POV*
I followed him into the cabin, my heart racing as fast as my thoughts were. I knew what was coming, what would happen, but did I really want it to happen? I mean... I liked the guy- a lot. But it's only been a week since we really started to "go out" or whatever.
And even if I didn't want to do this... would Jesse be okay with that? Or would he be like my ex boyfriend and how we almost did it? Where no one was even here to help me this time around.

No. I told myself sternly. Jesse's not like that. He's got a past, but he's not a rapist.

At least, that's what I mostly believed.
But I hadn't thought my ex would have done anything either, and he almost did.
I felt Jesse's arms go around my waist, and he looked at me. "You're making that face again. Now I think you're just doing it purposely though."
I laughed a little bit, not really feeling the sarcasm coming now. My mind was still all over the place. Jesse noticed the lack of a comment, and spun me around to face him.
"Is the Alyssa thing still bothering you?" he asked, uncharacteristically concerned. "I mean..." He ran a hand through his hair. "She might be up to something. I don't know... it is possible I guess, with her..."

"I wasn't really thinking about that, but it was worrying me. Is. I guess." I shrugged, not used to talking about my feelings.
"Hey... we'll be okay. I've dealt with her for a long time. I know how to handle her."

My mind flashed to another time since I'd been here, when she'd told me that she was dating him and I was immediately angered by the thought of them together.
"Yeah, I bet you do." I said bitterly, letting the anger seep through.
Something flashed in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what, and he backed away from me to see me better. "Is that what this is about? You're jealous?"

"Yeah, that's so it, Jesse. I'm jealous of a psychopath." I said sarcastically hiding the fact that I was jealous. I rolled my eyes, locking my wall into place so he couldn't see the truth. "Don't be so..."
"So what?" he prompted, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
"I'm not the typical teenage girl Jesse! I don't get jealous over some stupid blonde preppy girl who can't even talk at a normal pitch!" I said, taking my frustration out on him.

"I never said you were like other girls! If you were, I wouldn't want to be with you."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's so true. How many times have you used that one? You know, your track record doesn't really match your words." I remarked.
Suddenly I was up against the wall behind me, his arms around me. He was tense, like a snake about to attack. "You don't know anything about me." He growled.
"Yeah, well maybe that's the problem. You want to bring me here and do God knows what to me, but I don't know anything about you besides what happened with your case and why you're here."

"I wasn't going to force you into anything! I'm not like that!" he yelled.
"Well, if I don't know anything about you, how the hell am I supposed to know that?"
"Why would I do that to a girl when my sister was raped?! How does that even make sense?!" he exclaimed.
I knew the real problem wasn't him at all in this. I knew that it was me, that I was scared for some unknown reason and that I didn't want to risk getting closer to him. But I also knew that deep down, this wasn't going to be like all my other relationships, and that I couldn't push him away like I've done before. I'd tried that already and it didn't work. Because he wasn't like other guys I'd been with.
He turned away from me and paced to the other side of the cabin, and for a moment I thought he was going to leave then and there. But after a moment he faced me again. "You're so... you're so..."

"I'm so what?" I asked, trying to keep up the wall. It was slipping slowly. As each moment passed, I could feel it crumbling down piece by piece despite my best efforts.

What is this guy doing to me? I thought, not understanding anything anymore.
He walked back over to me. He didn't seem angry anymore, and he actually seemed as if he understood why I was acting like this.
Instead of answering my question he just kissed me. And not like all the make out sessions we've been having lately. It was like that kiss we'd shared on the porch of the cabin a week ago, sweet for once instead of lustful and heady. Sure, I could tell there was some of that hidden too, but mostly it was sweet and gentle, which didn't seem to match his character at all.
Oh... Just... Screw it. I thought and pushed him so that we were walking towards the bed. Dust flew up as we fell onto it, and I honestly would have been too disgusted to do anything else if it had happened in another situation.
But right now I really didn't even notice it.