UNCAGED SOUL || Attack on Titan x Reader

To Keep Your Love || Erwin Smith

Pt. 4 of "All My Senses" Mini-Series

Cw: age-gap

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Such a grace you were, the beloved pupil of the family. The daughter who always said yes to whatever her parents asked her to, following the path that was made, not a complaint ever slipped from her lips. You attended the best school, finished all your exams with flying colours, and graduated with Summa Cum Laude on your bachelor's degree.

Sometimes you would hear whispers. People wondered if your smile was genuine, wondering if maybe you felt like you were forced, just like how most people feel when their dreams were guided by someone, not something that appeared from themselves. They thought you were not happy, they said that right away in front of you, wanting you to see that you were used.

But you just smiled, chuckling wholeheartedly as you turned the idea down.

"My parents are the reason I can be as successful as this." You always retort with a gentle tone, never once raising the intonation. "I am happy. If I don't want to do any of this, I can always say so and they always understand." With doe eyes looking back at them, casting all the negativity that tried to nestle in your brain.

No one ever succeeded in swaying you out of the golden path, and you never once were interested to do anything that your parents forbid you to. Smoking, doing drugs, getting shit drunk — you were nothing like any other adolescent. You held your chin high, but at the same time never looked down on people, that was just how pure you were.

And it made people confused because they wanted to pity you, for not having the freedom to follow what your heart content. But then again, what was there to pity when you were not even having any burden on your shoulders? When you always smiled so brightly that the sun would be jealous of how perfect your life was.

You knew everything was staged. Your parents were the puppeteers, the ones who made sure you talk and act like how they desired you to be. However, you didn't mind that. At least for the past few years, you never once questioned anything in your life. Not when you were adored by a lot of people. Not when your parents were always proud of you.

Yet something was missing, and you realised that even in all the flawless aspects of your life, there was a curse reserved just for you.

Romantic love never stays, not long enough, not like those you read in books and movies. Someone came, taking off their fedora just for you, then left. Another one, bowing their head, making promises, then breaking your heart. Like an endless cycle, you always knew how love would end in your story.

How crazy it was that somehow, you were still hopeful. Yes, hope. Something that always urged you to search for it. You already had everything, so why not love, right? It always made you jealous whenever your parents got so lovey-dovey in front of you, dancing at any of the cocktail parties, stealing the spotlight.

You just wished that one day, someone would share with you the same bond that your father and mother had. A dozen times having your heart stomped all over again would be nothing compared to that dream. Ah, the only dream that blooms from your own heart. One, long-lasting love. Nothing else, just something as simple as someone loving you whole like you did.

In your fiancé, you thought you finally found it. But that wasn't the case. He wasn't your endgame. The world said so by ripping him away, sending his pure, untainted soul back to heaven first. Leaving you here on earth, as lifeless as someone could be, not believing that you were back to zero once again.

Your parents could do nothing but check on you now and then in your childhood bedroom, not letting you live alone in your apartment, afraid if you ever tried to follow the man you loved. Even when your father tried to cheer you up with anything you wanted, even when your mother always reassured you that maybe there was someone else who was meant for you, it was hard to lift you up.