In Love with a Lunatic (joshler)

18. Withdrawals*

(*Words That Don't Exist -Citizen Soldier)
(*cw/tw: mentions of withdrawals, vomiting)
(*slight smut)

Saturday
March 1

The buzzer knocks Josh out of his thoughts. He quickly stands up and hops over the barrier to the ice, meeting at center for the puck drop. Eyes on the puck, he stands frozen, taking a second to notice his opponent got it before he even realized the ref had dropped it.

"The fuck, Dun?" Ronnie asks before chasing after the flat disc.

The teams are tied 1-1, and the game doesn't seem to be going anywhere else, seeing as there's five game time minutes left of the third period. Josh hasn't stopped thinking about Tyler all week. He's been laid in bed or on the couch every day. He refuses to skate—which Josh doesn't blame him—but is still worried about nationals and not practicing with Jenna, which only makes his anxiety worse.

Josh went to see him on Wednesday and discovered he had thrown out every alcoholic beverage and mixers he had. Josh told him it probably wasn't a good idea to cut cold Turkey, but Tyler insisted. He stayed with Tyler into Thursday and he had woken up shaking and anxious. The past two days, he hasn't been sleeping. Insomnia has him in a chokehold and it's heartbreaking to watch. Everything is heartbreaking to watch. Josh couldn't be more proud of him, though. He knows it's harder for Tyler than anyone, and watching him push through it and stick to his promise to himself, even if just barely, was something that Josh couldn't get over.

He hasn't been answering his phone for anyone but Josh, Dallon, and Chloe to keep her updated on whether he was going to be at practice and also to send her guilty apologies. She's told him to stop and to just focus on getting better, but he still feels the need.

Josh grunts suddenly, being shoved hard into the frozen floor, his stick being thrown out of his glove.

"The hell are you doing, Dun?!" Jeremy shouts, standing up over the red haired man. "Sub out!"

Josh pushes himself up and skates to the box where a teammate exits and continues the game in his place.

Dallon nudges him gently, "You good, man?"

Josh shakes his head silently in response and drops his head, leaning forward on his elbows, waiting for the game to be over.

Meeting back in the locker room, Josh huffs as he sits down, top gear and undershirt being thrown messily on the floor. Dallon sits down next to him with a sympathetic look.

"Don't say it," Josh murmurs, laying his head back against the lockers.

Dallon shakes his head, "Wasn't gonna say anything."

The coach walks in after a few minutes and dismisses everyone almost immediately. Josh remains in his seat, telling Dallon he'd be to the showers in a couple minutes.

"Dun."

Josh shuts his eyes, really not wanting a lecture from his coach right now, "Coach."

"What the hell's going on with you? You haven't been focusing at practice all week and you were choking all game. What's up? 'Cause that's not like you, man."

The player sighs and opens his eyes to see his mentor sitting on the bench in front of him, leaning on his elbows and watching Josh with genuine eyes.

He sighs, clearing his throat, "My boyfriend quit drinking this week and he's going through withdrawals. I just can't stop thinking about him. Sorry, Coach."

The older man nods, "I know that's a hard thing. I watched my dad and my daughter go through it."

"How did you help them?"