In Love with a Lunatic (joshler)

31. Pickle in a Dish

Friday
July 4
Independence Day

"Hey, sweets," Dallon mutters, kissing Josh softly as he bends down to greet him. "You coming to the fireworks with us tonight?"

"Don't have any other plans. I only hang out with you two," Josh chuckles, sitting down next to Dallon.

"Tyler gets out of work at two-thirty, I figure we'd leave around four, get some dinner and then go to the park where they shoot them off."

"Sounds good."

It's quiet for a few moments before Josh looks over to the man next to him and notices him staring off into space.

"Are you okay?" Josh asks.

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Did something happen?" Josh asks, repositioning himself to face Dallon.

Dallon sighs softly, "It's Tyler, man. He's depressed. Not that I'm surprised, but..."

"I noticed it too," Josh replies quietly. "Has it gotten worse the last couple days?"

"A little bit. He hasn't left his bed other than to go to work. He hasn't been eating as much. And I think he thinks he owes me something."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember the last few weeks I kept finding cash in random places and I had no idea where it came from, but I thought I just forgot I had it?"

"Mhm."

"I caught him slipping a $20 in my jeans pocket this morning. And then last night we were having sex and he kept, like, dissociating. It was weird; it didn't feel right. He wouldn't move, wouldn't make noise. I felt like I was fucking a sex doll, he just laid there. It made me feel gross, like I was...like I wasn't supposed to be doing it. I've never seen him do that before. Not in the middle of sex, at least. It scared me."

"Did you talk to him about it?"

"I tried," Dallon sighs. "He kept insisting that he was fine, he was just tired, not in the mood."

"Has he ever been to a counselor?"

"I don't think so. I know he used to take antidepressants, but he stopped after his attempt a few years ago and hasn't taken them since."

Josh's heart drops suddenly as he looks at his boyfriend, "His...his attempt?"

Dallon whips his head up, his eyes wide, "You didn't know about that?"

"No...I-I knew he used to be addicted to pills, but..."

"Yeah," Dallon mutters, grabbing Josh's hand when his face turns pink. He clears his throat, "He, um, he swallowed a bunch of mixed pills. Had to get his stomach pumped. He almost didn't make it. Told me a few months later that he wished he didn't."

Josh squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Oh my god."

"I'm sorry, Josh, I thought you knew."

"We have to do something, Dallon," the man states quietly. "I...fuck."

Pulling Josh into a hug, Dallon lets him cry on his shoulder without a word.

-

Tyler sighs as he walks through the front door. Slipping his shoes off, he sets his work hat on the table and walks to the living room. He stops and pulls his phone out, snapping a picture of Josh sleeping on top of a sleeping Dallon. He pauses for a moment before looking back at the two. Walking closer, he leans down to Josh's face, wondering why it's red. He sees wet droplets on Dallon's shirt. Carefully grabbing Josh's hand, he kisses the back of it before setting it back down.