Lover

13] Inevitable

Taehyung's pov:

" I don't know what to do. " I muttered under my breath staring up at the ceiling of Jungkook's glass room.

" Just calm down , Taehyung.  Everything will be fine. " Jimin , my brother-in-law spoke softly.

Hearing him , my head turned towards him and I gazed at his face. He looked sad too.

Very sad.

Why won't he?

Jimin loved his brother.

" I....I am sorry. " The apology was of no use. We knew it , but I couldn't help but apologise.

I had done everything the way I wanted. Everything happened on my own want. My stubbornness but now I was realising that just how stupid it all was.

For my eyes , Jungkook's presence was enough. For my ears , even his cold voice was like a melody but now I felt that how selfish I was to think like that.

How could I cage him like that? How could I force him to stay when he never loved me. How could even call want I feel - Love , when I did nothing to make him happy. How could I say that I loved him when I always hurt him.

His tears , his sadness , his sunken cheeks , no delight , dull eyes and continuous intoxication.  It was all because of me.

Because he was never like this before the marriage.

Those eyes in the fan meeting were so bright and that smile was so beautiful ; They were the reason I fell for him.

But since then , have I ever witnessed those eyes? Have I seen him smile?

I wanted to love him with that beautiful happy heart that he had , but unknowingly I had burnt hus heart into ashes and now it was maybe too late to say sorry.

" I - I...."

* gulp *

" I am so s-stupid. S-so selfish! How could I---- fuck! "

My throat choked on the tears , that weren't even coming out. A few drops of salty water weren't enough to vanish the guilt my heart was forming inside my chest.

I couldn't even cry. Because I had no right to.

" Stop blaming yourself now. " Jimin's tone was a little rude. Well ..... I had expected more from him, to be true. " Stop talking about it. You can't change things anymore. It has happened. You can't turn anything back to normal now. I already warned you when you were forcefully marrying him ,  that you will regret it. Jungkook was never someone who you think would fall for someone who has prisoned him. This ain't some fictional shit , Taehyung. This is life and a real life to be specific.  " He said making me chuckle internally at his words. He was going nowhere to what I wanted.

He wasn't understanding. 

" You can't change anything now. All we can do is wait. Wait till comes back into consciousness.--" He was cut by me in mid.

" And then? " I questioned cutting his words , irritated by how he was giving me a lecture than loathing me.

I didn't deserve sympathy or such a good behavior from him. I ruined his brother's life and now after Jungkook's comes back to consciousness,  we must do something.

Things couldn't go as they were in the past anymore now , can they?

" And then? Then what? Stop thinking of the future right now. Focus on what it is right now , Taehyung. " He frowned looking at me as if he was disappointed in me.

" The present is nothing without him and I have no future with him either! " My anger , irritation and the Bubble of emotions wa about to explode any minute now.

Out of a sudden , everyone was sympathizing me rather than hating me.

" W-what? What does it mean? " He questioned turning his spine steel , and faced his body towards me with full focus on the conversation now.

Taking a deep breath,  I exhaled and blinked at him tiredly.

I was tired.

Tired of making it difficult for everyone. I didn't know what had happened to me that I ruined it all years back that now all of a sudden I was realising all my mistakes.

Why did it take so long?

" I mean..." My eyes travelled around the glass room before stopping at Jimin's concerned eyes. Maybe he was guessing something in his mind. And the way his expressions looked , he was guessing right.

" I have no future with Jungkook.  I will file for a divorce when he gets normal. " I stated. " This must end. Sooner or later. So , I'd love to free him as soon as possible.  This must be over. He must live happily. He deserves it. "