Lover

19] Weird Feeling

Taehyung was moving towards his room slowly with heavy steps and with each step forward,  he wanted to get down the stairs.

The closer he got , the harder he thought of whether he must go or not.

His heart raced when he stood in front of his destination and now it started to get worse.

He didn't want to go inside anymore.

What would he even say?

How would he be able to look at him and then what was he going to do?

Apologise?

Even apologising wasn't that easy for him. And why would he suddenly apologise and even if he did , would Jungkook accept it?

What would be Jungkook's reaction?

How would the younger act once he sees someone he hated from the gut.

And then again , why would Jungkook want Taehyung in the room with him out of the blue?

Taehyung exhaled a deep breath which was suffocating his chest with heaviness. He realized that asking questions to himself won't give him any answers and he needed to face it.

Now or then , he had to face Jungkook and talk.

So , sighing heavily , Taehyung gulped hard before pushing the double door open, only to be met with silent and gradual beeps from the monitor.

The two nurses were just sitting on the couch and monitoring him and when they saw him they stood up but Taehyung motioned them from his hand to be quiet and stay calm.

Nonetheless,  they walked towards him and one of them whispered  , " We will be outside. The floor is sanitized so you can stay inside for as much long as you want. We will wait out there. "

Taehyung gave a single nod at which those two walked out.

He closed the door behind carefully before gazing at the bedside.

There were monitors and other doctoral equipments with many wires and tubes coming from them , attaching to Jungkook.

The man rested down silently with the oxygen mask on his face and clips on his fingers with an IV on his right hand's forearm.

Taehyung's feet on their own , moved towards  the sleeping Jungkook before he quietly sat near Jungkook on the couch fixated near the bed for the time being.

He sat there and stared at Jungkook's sleeping figure silently.  No voice could be heard at all with just spontaneous beeps now and then and then there was Taehyung,  sitting with a heavy heart and guilty soul.

He had stopped reading the diary now. He was more than half way through it but he could not rely on that diary anymore.

Things change. People change and so does their thinking.

Jungkook indeed disliked Taehyung deeply but after this incident Taehyung had started to blame himself more than ever.

He wasn't realising anything all this while because it was like when he had Jungkook in front of his eyes , then he needed nothing more.

Even when Jungkook hated him , he could love him because Jungkook was present near him but he was wrong.

Yes , Jungkook's body was present near Taehyung but his soul was never there.

Yes , Taehyung could love him by just watching him but he couldn't get that love back.

He was selfish.  Very selfish and that's why all he could do was be guilty of his actions.

" I am so sorry. " Taehyung whispered near Jungkook's sleeping figure but Jungkook heard it and opened his eyes making Taehyung's heart almost fall out of his chest.

What would Jungkook say?

But he wanted Taehyung to be there , right?

Taehyung got a little worked up when he saw Jungkook awake , he didn't know what to do so he jut stayed there , silently.

Younger turned to look at elder who stiffed at his place wanting to vanish , but of course -- Jungkook saw him sitting beside.

Jungkook's eyes stared right through Taehyung who felt as if he was being clawed by those dark orbs.

" W-Water . " Jungkook whispered under his breath making Taehyung blink his eyes with a racing heart but as the voice was not properly audible to Taehyung, " Huh? "  he hesitantly leaned closer making Jungkook repeat himself and hearing it , elder nodded hyperistically looking for the water.

He found it on the table set in the middle of the room before walking towards it with fast steps. He grabbed the bottle and brought it back towards Jungkook only to frown in confusion.

" You....You aren't allowed to move. " Taehyung whispered making Jungkook stare at him with a pale and dry look.

Younger motioned his finger at which Taehyung came closer to him and leaned only to hear Jungkook chuckle.  " Then you need a straw, stupid. "

Elder's eyes were snapped to Jungkook's face who was looking at him with an amused face.

Taehyung cleared his throat , steeling his spoke before looking around for the asked thing.

And then he did found the straw on the trawli  with other tools.

He grabbed the straw opening it's packing before pushing it inside the water vessel and then reached it out for Jungkook who slightly removed his mask with the help of his husband and drank the water.

The vessel almost emptied as Jungkook kept on drinking which made elder smile internally.

Taehyung kept the vessel aside and then sat back into his place only to realize that his heart was literally jumping in anxiety and nervousness as he could still not believe that Jungkook talked to him.

Like , they didn't have any conversation yet Jungkook asking water from Taehyung was like elder coming to life from his death.

Taehyung couldn't help but inhale sharply at this.

And now again , he was frozen in his place not knowing what to do when all Jungkook did was stare at the ceiling.

" Uh....would you like to , um , e-eat something? " Taehyung asked lowly making younger turn his head to him again and Taehyung could swear that the look Jungkook gave him wanted him to be gone.

He didn't know how , but he just so much wanted to go and hide and run or whatever!

Those bambi eyes were dark and black and heavy and somehow empty. He didn't feel this weird feeling ever but right now , he felt so small that he couldn't believe what he actually was.

His true identity was being wiped away with just that look on Jungkook's masked face.

Oh God!

" You plan on killing me already? " Jungkook said making elder frown at that before he realized what younger meant.

" Oh , not like that....food, Umm , Juice? Yeah. Juice , would you like to have some juice? I must bring it. " Taehyung said standing up from his place , still feeling uncomfortable and without even waiting for Jungkook's reply Taehyung almost flew out of the room and saw the two nurses still there.

" Go inside. " He ordered in his normal cold voice at which they bowed before walking inside and as soon as the door was closed he leaned his back with the wall exhaling a deep breath which he himself didn't know since when he was holding back.

He breathed deeply and sharply, closing his eyes , thanking no one but God because of how fresh he felt after coming outside.

Jesus , he'll kill me with just his eyes.