This Is Why I Love The Color Red

Liebe

'I want to see you.'

I laughed. He had just sent me home earlier, and receiving a message like this really fed my lover self.

'This is not right. I should make you miss me.'

'I miss you already, RAAAAAAAH!'

'Do you want to go out with me?'

'Otw.'

Oh, and 30 minutes after receiving that message? He was in front of our house. This guy really is a man of his word. I welcomed him with a kiss.

"It hasn't been a day!"

"I have a car, and I want to see you."

I was enjoying my time with him when I received a message from my friend. It was Ymir's comment on one of my videos—a laughing comment. Well, he was bombarded by my friends because they hate him so much, and even my mean devil prick little sister hates him to his core.

I also received a message from Micah, my man-hater friend, who hates most of my flings or boyfriends. She sent a message about Phoenix.

'We talked about you and Phoenix earlier. I told them that it was my first time feeling happy about EL's boys. They also liked him because he's good with making friends.'

Which was true. Most of my exes or flings hated my friends. I don't know what the fuck their reason was, but they either felt shy around my friends or didn't want to meet them at all. My friends are my family, so it really is a big deal if you try to know these people I cherish in my life.

Even my most man-hating friend, Quen, sent me a random message.

'I think you are finally in the right direction. You know that I hate your exes so much, and I don't like any of them.'

It made me laugh because I kept receiving messages and good compliments about Phoenix. It really matters to me whether my friends like my boyfriend because they know who is good and who isn't for me. I have a bad habit of turning a blind eye whenever I am in love.

When Phoenix sent me home after making him try my favorite takoyaki, he suddenly started being futuristic, which led me to feel confused. Like, what do you mean by future? I thought we were breaking up?

'First, I need to get a really high-paying job. Then somehow get a Spanish visa. I'll probably work a manual job in Spain.'

I liked seeing him picturing a future with me. I smiled, bitterly, while trying to type my response in a nice way. I didn't want to destroy his imagination.

'No, you graduate first. I mean, if you want your life here in the Philippines—I'll respect that. I don't want to meddle with your personal life, especially with your friends here. I mean, I love you... but if you love the Philippines, then you don't have to. I mean... I love you, and I really want to marry you, but it's just the way it is.'

I didn't want to sound like I didn't consider this plan of his for our future, but I was just afraid that we were rushing things.

'Femininity flourishing. I am no longer wearing the pants in the relationship.'

'Imma graduate fast. Probably. I need skills. So I can get a good job in Spain.'

'You're not saying this just because you feel pressured by my friends, huh?'

'I love you. I'd love to have a little house in Europe where we can cook fried rice and spend time with our kids.'

I switched to TikTok. I had this habit of sending him random videos and shit that relates to our relationship. He's also patient enough to watch tons of videos and even reply to each and every one. How did I deserve this boy again?