strong enough [crossover]

xiv. everybody lives...right?

trigger warnings: none, i think

*

Someone snaps their fingers right between MJ's eyes and, acting on instinct, she kicks.

"Ow!" Rose whines. "That was my shin!"

"Sorry," MJ says but she's not sure she means it. She's not even sure she's saying it. She feels detached from her own body. From the present.

Rose squats down to be at eye level with MJ. Wait, since when was MJ sitting down on Jack's bed? Rose grins at her. "Think you could come back to us? We need your big brain to help save the day."

Just her brain. That's all MJ will ever be to anyone outside her family. A brain. A tool. A weapon. A pawn in a game of chess and she can't see the board. Gods, she's losing it.

"MJ?" Rose pokes her in the shoulder. "MJ, are you in there?"

Maybe this is what it means to be empty. Maybe this is how Jamie feels. Cold and alone and outside himself.

The Doctor's hand settles on her shoulder, big and heavy. "MJ, what's wrong?" When she doesn't answer, he heaves a great big sigh. "Don't make me pull out the full name. Though, actually, I can't, because I still don't know what your middle name is. I mean, I know it starts with a J, but there are millions of names that start with J. Is it Jane? Janet? Jasmine? Jillian? Jessica? Jessie? Jennifer? Jenny? Josephine? Josie? Josette?"

For some reason, the sound of her middle name acts as an anchor. It pulls her back to the here and now. She is not outside herself. She's sitting on Jack's bed, and her friends are crouching down in front of her, looking very worried. Her friends who were just flirting with each other even though the Doctor claims he has feelings for MJ and they both know MJ has feelings for him.

They're touching her. Rose's hand is on her left knee and the Doctor's is still on MJ's right shoulder. They're touching her, and normally, that's fine, but she can't do it right now.

"Get your hands off of me," she snaps, shoving them away.

She gets up and stomps over to the other end of the ship, as far away from them as she can get. She leans against the wall and takes deep breaths. She doesn't want to be angry right now. But maybe she should be. Because if she's not angry, then what is she?

Jack clears his throat. "Sorry about the delay. Had to take the Nav-Com off-line to override the teleport security."

"You can spend ten minutes overriding your own protocols," the Doctor says, wrapping his hand around some part of the ship. "Maybe you should remember whose ship it is."

Maybe you should remember which girl you kissed last week, MJ thinks snidely.

Jack grins. "I do. She was gorgeous. Like I told her, be back in five minutes."

He ducks down into a compartment under the console.

"This is a Chula ship," the Doctor points out, glancing around.

"Yeah, just like that medical transporter," Jack calls up to him. "Only this one is dangerous."

The Doctor snaps his fingers and honestly, MJ half-expects someone's head to open up. But no, instead, a swarm of tiny golden glowing lights appear around his hand.

"They're what fixed my hands up," Rose says. "Jack called 'em, um..."

"Nanobots?" the Doctor guesses. He shakes his head. "Nanogenes."

"Nanogenes, yeah," Rose confirms.

"Sub-atomic robots. There's millions of them in here, see?" The Doctor turns his hand this way and that to demonstrate. "Burned my hand on the console when we landed. All better now. They activate when the bulk head's sealed. Check you out for damage, fix any physical flaws."