strong enough [crossover]

xiii. why is it always london?

trigger warnings: none i think??

*

After the trauma that was their last adventure, they decide to take a week off. The first few days MJ spends reading, swimming, and running. She reads alone in her room or a secluded corner of the library, swims alone, and runs alone. She sees the Doctor and Rose only at breakfast and dinner. She doesn't isolate herself on purpose, but she doesn't seek her friends out either, and they don't seek her out.

At breakfast on day four, Rose asks MJ if she can join her on her run. MJ agrees without a moment's hesitation. They run in relative silence. Rose runs a mile and then splays out on the bleachers with a bottle of water. MJ runs until Rose calls out to her to come sit with her.

"Are you mad at me?" Rose asks shyly when MJ finally plops down next to her. The metal bleachers should sear their bare skin with the way the sun is bearing down, but the seats are surprisingly cool.

MJ furrows her brow. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I fucked up," Rose says. "I nearly brought about the bloody end times because I was self-serving and naive, and then as if that wasn't enough, I threw your friend's death in your face. And then you got eaten by a monster because of me. I mean, you said it yourself: I was acting like a selfish cunt. Why wouldn't you be mad at me?"

MJ doesn't answer for a minute or two, she just drinks from a reusable pink water bottle and looks at the clouds in the fake sky. Once she's gathered her thoughts, she says, "Yeah, you really, really fucked up. You indirectly killed everyone I know and love. You indirectly got me killed. You betrayed the Doctor's trust, you betrayed mine, and you did it all for someone who was more myth to man to you."

Rose's eyes fill with tears. "So you are mad at me?"

"You watched me die," MJ says. "You watched the Doctor die. You watched your dad die twice. I think you've suffered enough. So, no, Rose, I'm not mad at you. I told you I accepted your apology and I meant it."

Rose sniffles and wipes at her eyes. "I really am so sorry, MJ. I just thought...I mean, we save so many people. Why not him? I had no idea it would be so..." She scrunches up her face, searching for the right word. "So catastrophic."

MJ cracks a grin. "It's sort of classic sci-fi, isn't it? Trying to make one small change and it turning out to have disastrous consequences. The butterfly effect, it's called. I get why you did it. I even get why you thought it wasn't such a big deal. I mean, Pete Tyler was just some guy, right? How much could he really change? But history is full of ordinary people who went on to do extraordinary things. It's a testament to how important each of us really are, I think, that changing one man's fate can change everything."

"Can I tell you something?" Rose asks. "And you can't tell the Doctor because I'm not sure he'd understand."

"My ears are open and my lips are sealed."

"As sorry as I am about what I did, and everything that happened because of it, I don't regret saving my dad's life," Rose admits. "I know it's wrong, but I just...I can't bring myself to regret getting to have that time with him. To see him as a man and not a myth."

She stares off into the distance, gaze unfocused, her lips pressed into a thin line as if she's holding something back. She clearly hasn't been sleeping, judging from the dark circles under her doe-brown eyes. Her skin has lost a bit of color too. As awful as their last adventure was for MJ and the Doctor, it was a thousand times worse for Rose, and its effects linger still.

MJ gets to her feet and holds out her hand. "Get up."

"Why?" Rose whines, draping her arm over her eyes.