Lines Crossed (SanSang)

17

Yeosang sat stiffly in the booth, his eyes glued to the door where San had just walked out. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, the tightness in his throat making it hard to breathe. He felt the tears welling up, burning the back of his eyes, but he tried to hold them back. He didn't want to break down here—not in front of Wooyoung.

But it was no use. A tear slipped down his cheek, and then another, until the flood he'd been trying to control for weeks came crashing down.

Wooyoung, who had been watching silently, set down his coffee and leaned forward. "Hey, Sangie," he said softly, his brow furrowed with concern. "What's going on? Why are you crying?"

Yeosang shook his head, pressing his palms against his eyes as if he could stop the tears from falling. His chest felt tight, and the more he tried to push it down, the more the emotions surged forward, overwhelming him. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't keep pretending everything was fine.

Wooyoung scooted closer, his voice gentle but firm. "Come on, Yeosang, you're scaring me. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Yeosang took a shaky breath, his voice barely a whisper. "It's San..."

Wooyoung blinked in surprise, then leaned in, his expression softening with understanding. "What about San?" His eyes suddenly widened "Did San do something? I swear im going to hit him-"

Yeosang chuckled softly shaking his head again, hesitated, wiping at his face with the back of his hand. He'd been holding this in for so long, but now, with Wooyoung sitting there, looking at him with so much concern, it all came pouring out.

"I think I like him, Woo," Yeosang confessed, his voice cracking. "More than just a friend."

Wooyoung's eyes widened, but he didn't pull away. He stayed close, waiting for Yeosang to continue.

"I didn't want to admit it at first, I mean i never had an experience like this before," Yeosang continued, his voice trembling. "But after that kiss at the party... it messed with my head."

"You two- really kissed?" Woo looked at him surprised "Woah wait I really thought you teo would just go in that closet and talk."

Yeo rolled his eyes "Yes we did. But then he laughed it off, like it was nothing. And now, seeing him with all those girls... I feel like an idiot."

Wooyoung was quiet for a moment, his hand resting gently on Yeosang's arm. "You're not an idiot," he said quietly. "You're just... in a tough spot."

Yeosang shook his head, wiping more tears from his face. "It's more than that, Woo. He's straight. He's always flirting with girls, smiling at them, the way he looks at them... its so different and I'm just... here. I'm never going to be more than a friend to him."

Wooyoung frowned, leaning in closer. "Are you sure about that? I mean... have you ever talked to him about it? Maybe he's just confused too."

Yeosang let out a shaky laugh, though there was no humor in it. "No, I haven't talked to him about it. I can't. What if I tell him, and it ruins everything? What if he thinks I'm disgusting, or he doesn't want to be around me anymore?"

Wooyoung sighed, clearly frustrated but trying to be patient. "Yeosang, you can't keep bottling this up. It's tearing you apart. You've been avoiding him all week, and it's not helping. You're just hurting yourself more."

Yeosang's shoulders slumped, and he shook his head again. "I'd rather keep this to myself than risk losing him. I'm sure he's straight, Woo. I don't want to ruin what little I have left."

Wooyoung squeezed Yeosang's arm gently. "But you're hurting yourself like this. Keeping it all inside is making things worse."

Yeosang bit his lip, the weight of Wooyoung's words sinking in, but the fear of rejection kept him silent. He knew he couldn't tell San. He couldn't bear the thought of losing him completely.

"I'll be fine," Yeosang whispered, even though he knew it was a lie. He didn't feel fine at all.

Wooyoung gave him a long, searching look, clearly unconvinced. "No, you won't," he said gently. "You're not fine now, and pretending like you are isn't going to make this any better."

Yeosang stared down at the table, his fingers trembling as they gripped his cup. His heart felt heavy, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him like a storm cloud that refused to lift. He knew Wooyoung was right. Hiding this from San, from himself, was eating him alive, but what was the alternative? Risk everything?

"You don't get it, Woo," Yeosang finally muttered, his voice barely audible. "If I tell him, I could lose him completely. What if he doesn't understand? What if he pushes me away?"

Wooyoung sighed, leaning back in his chair, his eyes filled with sympathy. "I get that, Yeo. I really do. But avoiding him is losing him too kinda. You're torturing yourself, and it's not fair to either of you. San knows something's up, and the longer you avoid him, the more it's going to hurt."

Yeosang felt the sting of Wooyoung's words, but he still couldn't bring himself to face the truth. He knew Wooyoung was right; San had been trying to talk to him all week, clearly confused and hurt by Yeosang's sudden coldness. But how could he explain? How could he look San in the eyes and admit that his feelings went beyond friendship?

"I just... I don't know how to face him," Yeosang whispered, his voice shaky. "Every time I see him, I feel like I'm falling apart. And that kiss... I keep replaying it in my head, but then I remember the way he laughed it off, like it was nothing. It hurt, Woo. It hurt so much."

Wooyoung's expression softened further, and he reached across the table, gripping Yeosang's hand. "I'm so sorry, Yeosang. I wish I could take that pain away, but I can't. What I can tell you is that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to know where you stand, even if it hurts. Otherwise, you'll be stuck in this endless loop of 'what ifs,' and it'll drive you crazy."

Yeosang swallowed hard, blinking back fresh tears. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to express the ache that had taken root in his chest ever since that night at the party.

"What if... what if he hates me?" Yeosang's voice was barely above a whisper, the fear clear in his words.

Wooyoung shook his head. "San doesn't seem like the type to hate anyone for something like this. I don't think you need to worry about that. He might be confused, yeah, but I don't think he'd ever turn his back on you."

Yeosang took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but the fear still gnawed at him. He wanted to believe Wooyoung, wanted to believe that San wouldn't hate him, but the doubt lingered. He was too scared to take that risk, too scared to lose the one person who had made him feel something real.

"I'll think about it," Yeosang finally whispered, though he knew it was just another way to delay the inevitable.

Wooyoung squeezed his hand gently before letting go. "Just promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay? You can't keep going on like this."

Yeosang nodded, though the tightness in his chest didn't ease. He knew Wooyoung was right—he couldn't keep pretending—but the thought of confronting San felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, unsure whether he'd fall or fly.

"Thanks, Woo," Yeosang murmured, his voice quiet.

Wooyoung gave him a small, reassuring smile. "Anytime. You know I'm here for you, right?"

Yeosang nodded again, grateful for Wooyoung's support, even though his heart still felt heavy. He wiped at his eyes one last time, determined to push the emotions down for now. He couldn't deal with this right here, not in the middle of a crowded café. Not with so many people around.

But he knew, deep down, that he couldn't avoid it forever.

He'd have to face San eventually. And when that time came, he wasn't sure if he'd survive it.