Unhinged Love

CHAPTER 57

I did not call my brother and ask him to fetch me. When I told Melisizwe about my plan to leave early, he just straight up said ‘awuyi lapho’. Yes, he denied me going back home and said he will be the one to drive me home. I ended up not seeing Mbulelo yesterday because he was asleep during visiting hours. But this morning, I am going there. I will go in alone in his ward so that maybe I can try and reach out to him. Maybe he might see things form my perspective. But who am I kidding? There is no better way to put this into words. It is pure betrayal at its best and I would understand if he never forgives me. I also wouldn’t forgive him if roles were reversed.

Mnguni and I arrive at the hospital and we head to Mbulelo’s ward. He lets me go inside first and I find Mbulelo busy with his phone. I clear my throat and he raises his head. He doesn’t look bad. He does have a few scratches on his face and I think the rest of his injuries are hidden by his pyjamas. I instantly feel bad seeing the state of his body. I caused this. my behaviour and actions caused this. I may have not pushed him to the car but this is consequences to my actions. Our eyes meet and he immediately frowns.

“I don’t have anything to say to you, so please leave.” He states and I take a deep breath.
“I know I am the last person you want to see. I won’t say anything that will justify my actions. I just want you to know that I am sorry and I deeply apologize for the fact that my actions landed you here. It was never my intention to cause you harm.”

He chuckles. “But you did. You know exactly how I feel about you but you went ahead and did this. Yazin Hlengiwe mfethu, I really don’t want to talk to you. Please leave and never come back. I don’t want to see you ever again. Whatever shit that is happening between my father and you, I don’t wanna hear about it and as soon as I am discharged from here, I am going to distance myself from you guys so that you can live happily ever after. That’s what you wanted, right? Now you got it. So go.”

Hearing his words break my heart. It was never my intention to break his relationship with Melisizwe. They have a great father-son relationship and I don’t want him to lose that. I would never be someone who would stand in the way of a parent-child relationship. I don’t want to stress him out in any way, especially in his condition.

“Mzimela, listen, I was wrong and I apologize but please don’t punish your father for this.”
He looks at me for a few moments and it is like he realizes something. He laughs and shakes his head. “You are in love with him. My God. You haven’t known him that long but you love him. I can see it in your eyes. When did you realize that you love him?”

“Mbulelo, listen…”
He interrupts me. “Answer me. You owe me this. When did you realize you love him? Was it before or after we broke up? And did your thing start before or after you dumped me? Is he the reason why you dumped me? You better answer me now, Hlengiwe.”

I swallow hard. “Mbulelo, I never meant to hurt you and I never meant to fall for your father. I didn’t have feelings for him until he started pursuing me a month after you and I broke up. I know this is a very tricky situation and I would understand if you don’t ever want to speak to me, but please don’t shut your father out. Don’t end your relationship with him because of me.”

He tries to reach a cup on his bedside and I quickly rush to help him before he injures himself. He just looks at me and takes the cup from me. He sips the water. “What is it that he does better? He gives you a lot of money? I know he is a giver. Or maybe too much affection? Affection that you never got from your father perhaps?” I just stare at him and he chuckles lightly. “Daddy issues. You have daddy issues. That’s why you never talked about your family. And you think sleeping with a man twice your age will fill that gap in your life and heart? Is that the case?” I take a step back and don’t answer him.

“That’s enough, Mbulelo. That’s no way to talk to a woman. Even if she broke your heart, you don’t talk to a woman like that. That’s not how I raised you.” Melisizwe’s voice startles me as he enters the room.
Mbulelo just sighs. “I don’t have the energy to deal with you and your girlfriend, Mzimela. And I would really appreciate it if I don’t see you ever again in my life. You have scarred my mind forever with your compromising position. Please leave. I need to rest.”

I might have not said everything I wanted to say but I am glad I apologized. I know he is not going to forgive me today or tomorrow, but one day he will. I take a step back. “Mbulelo, I am sorry about everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well, fuck you, Hlengiwe. Get out.” He doesn’t need to raise his voice for me to realize that he is angry. I look at him one last time before turning and heading out.

I walk straight to the parking lot and get inside the car. What was I really thinking? That he would gladly hear my side of the story and then we will be besties while I fuck his father? In what universe would something like this be acceptable? I am such an idiot. I shouldn’t have come here this weekend while knowing very well that his children are around. Now look at the consequences of my actions. Fuck this.

××

MELISIZWE MZIMELA

I don’t like the way Mbulelo spoke to Hlengiwe in. I understand that he is angry and he has every right to be. His reaction is justified but that doesn’t mean he has the right to insult Hlengiwe. I don’t want to come off as defensive but I don’t want him to insult my woman. I didn’t raise him like that. I wait for Hlengiwe to leave before I close the door behind her and face Mbulelo. He sighs and lays back on the bed, starring at the ceiling.

“Son, listen. I understand that you are angry and you got hurt by our actions, physically and emotionally. But this is the one time I will tell you this. don’t ever speak to Hlengiwe like that. She is my woman. She may have been yours a long time ago but she is mine now and you are going to address her in a respectful manner.” I say calmly and he keeps quiet for a few moments before chuckling.

“Yah, neh. That good pussy of hers is making you threaten me. But I understand. I have been there before. I would have sold all my assets just to keep her in my life.” I clench my fist and try to calm myself down. He is provoking me and he wants me to snap, but he won’t win. Not today. “And look at you saying confidently that she was mine a long time ago. It hasn’t even been a year or six months, Mzimela. She was warming my bed a few months ago and now she is warming yours. What makes you think she won’t move on to mkhulu after she hears that he is worth more than you? Are you going to live in fear of her choosing a richer family member? You are nothing but someone to fill her family void. She has no parents so she sees a father in you. But you wanted her. So, I guess it is toxic match made in heaven.” He clicks his tongue and turns to lay on his unharmed side.

I don’t have anything more to say. He has expressed his thoughts and feelings and I have allowed him. I know my son. He always shies away from confrontation because he never knows what to say. I know he didn’t mean to insult Hlengiwe but I am still mad at him for that. And I am pissed that he keeps bringing up the daddy issues topic. I know for a fact that Hlengiwe is not with me because of the void I fill. But she is with me because she genuinely loves and cares about me. I have seen it in her eyes and I want to make our relationship work, against all odds.

I get to the car and I find her seated there and just starring outside the window. When I try to say something, she shakes her head.
“I don’t want to be here anymore, Melisizwe. Just take me home. Please.”