Everything We Always Were

Eleven: Nerves

When the announcement calls Delia's name, RJ and I are whispering to each other.

We had been getting closer, texting occasionally, and talking a lot in school. We had asked to switch seats this hour, and our teacher agreed. I'm sure she regrets it now.

"Do you think it's about Kyler?" He leans over, whispering again, eyes wide. Our seats were in the back corner of the classroom.

"What else would it be?" I give him a look and he shrugs, sitting back in his seat.

My leg starts bouncing anxiously, and I watch the clock, counting the minutes.

All of last hour, I stare at the clock. I zone in on it until I can hear the clicking as the hands move and nothing else.

When the bell rings, I practically sprint to my truck.

My eyes scan the crowds of students over and over again frantically until I finally spot her hurrying through.

"What happened? I heard you get called to the office on the speaker,"

She sighs before diving into what happened and I have to fight myself from cringing for her when she says that her parents will be home all week. I know how much she likes her space.

After dropping her off at home, I notice how badly my hands are shaking. It's anxiety, and also anger building up, in advance. I am preparing myself for whatever Kyler decides to pull next.

I don't fall asleep for hours, laying awake staring at my ceiling in the dark.

The next day at school, I felt like a zombie, dragging my feet the entire day. I would muster up the energy when people would talk to me, mostly Delia, and hopefully, I was able to conceal my blatant sleep deprivation.

That night, after a very bland dinner of instant ramen, I find myself at my mother's bedside. She's sleeping, her breathing wheezy and loud, and I take her bony hand in mine.

"Hi, Mom," My voice is barely a whisper. "I'm, uh," I chuckle, "I'm kind of struggling right now. A lot is going on, with Delia and in my own head."

I start to dump everything I have been thinking about to her, half expecting her to wake up while I'm whispering, but she doesn't, her breathing rhythmic and calming.

"I feel better now," I state, before standing and leaving, closing the door quietly behind me. I only manage two hours of sleep.

I barely hear the announcement, but I do, and I turn to RJ, who is in an identical stance. Half out of our chairs, packing our books into our bags.

"Do you think-"

"Obviously," I cut him off, standing quickly.

"Sorry, dude. Didn't mean to push a button,"

I'm out the door and halfway to my next hour before I even think about responding to him. The class goes by painfully slow, the clock is digital, so not ticking. Finally, the bell rings and I barrel through the halls and make it to my truck before her.

"What happened?" I ask, as she pulls the door closed behind her.

"He's in custody at the station being questioned." She starts, pushing her backpack into the space by her feet. "They said that they found evidence in his bedroom, and that since some of the girls had been..." She pauses, glancing at me finally, her face a stark white. "In the past week or two, and that means there might be some..." She pauses again.

"DNA?" I finish for her, leaning forward across the center console.

She nods, "Yeah. So, they have to get kits done."