Everything We Always Were

Thirty Three: Amends

The month leading up to prom, I ended up avoiding alone time with James. Since finally realizing my feelings, I'm scared that I'm going to say something or do something to make it obvious to him and ruin the friendship.

I spend a lot of time thinking about it in class, and at home alone, and find myself rubbing the charm on my necklace, which I haven't taken off since he gave it to me. As well as the ring my father gave me, too.

"I'm so ready for this weekend. We are going to get pizza on Friday night, and then eat nothing the whole day on Saturday so that we definitely fit into our dresses," Roni explains on Wednesday in the courtyard after school.

"I'm gonna eat like double the pizza then," I laugh, "See you tomorrow guys, I'm going to stay home tonight," I call, waving goodbye as I make my way to Jay's truck.

He had been extra quiet since Christmas, but I have just been chalking it up to nerves for graduation. He also hadn't mentioned anything to me about college after what my mom told him while we were opening gifts.

"Hey, how was your day?" I ask as I buckle my seatbelt and he turns the key.

"Normal, I guess. You?"

"Same,"

I don't continue the conversation further, glancing at him and noticing that he looks deep in thought, not even a part of this conversation anyway.

He drops me off at home with a quick goodbye and is out of my eyesight by the time I turn around to wave goodbye, already gone. I don't let it get to me, although it does confuse me. He always waited until I was in the house before leaving the driveway.

I do my homework, finishing up a project and an essay before microwaving some canned pasta for dinner and curling up on the couch with it to watch whatever I can find on TV.

Around 10 pm, I clean up the dishes from the past few days and turn all of the lights off downstairs before making my way up to my room to hide for the rest of the night. I play a game on my tablet for a while until it bores me and watch videos on my phone until I fall asleep.

Friday night, Roni banished the boys to the barn, saying they couldn't see us until we took pictures tomorrow.

"Okay, so you know, me and Roni have a bet going on for prom,"

"Can I get in on it?" I ask, not even caring what the bet is on.

"Well, it involves you," Roni giggles.

I groan, rolling my eyes at them. "Is it something to do with James?" They nod.

"Roni thinks that he's going to confess at prom," Fran squeals and the two girls push at each other and giggle like elementary girls.

"That's ridiculous,"

"No, it would be so romantic, and so like James to do it at prom, after asking you as just friends." Roni puts air quotes on the last two words, making my eyes roll again involuntarily.

"I'm ordering the pizza," Fran announces, whipping her phone out and aggressively typing.

"She thinks he won't," Roni pushes her shoulder into mine and wiggles her eyebrows at me. "She's scared she's going to lose 10 bucks,"

I ignore it, deciding to change the subject.

"So, what are the actual plans for tomorrow?" That makes Roni perk up, a shimmer in her eye. She loved planning these kinds of things.

"So, my mom wants pictures with all of us and so does Fran, and we figured we could just go up to the clearing for group, couple, and individual photos at 5 pm after the boys get ready," She starts, leaning forward. "Then, we go to dinner at Chili's, which is like a 20-minute drive but if we eat quickly, we will get back 30 minutes before the doors open, so it will be perfect. Do you know if your mom wants pictures?"