Just in a day

RIVAAN

I never thought a wink would be the reason that I almost passed out. Her eyes, her smile were enough to push me off the edge but that damn wink did something that I could never have imagined. I was flushed and she knew that and she was thoroughly enjoying it and it was fair because I did it too. Everything with her felt like peace, like there was never a thing such as chaos, she felt like something i was craving but never knew. I never let anyone even touch a thing that my mom gifted me but with her it seemed natural, it even looked better on her, like it belongs to her, like i belong to her.
‘How much time will the food take, i have to take medicine ten before my meal’. She asked
‘I think you should have it now, the food won't take longer than 10 minutes. By the way, do you still have to eat these medicines?’ I asked
‘Uh-huh’. She looked away and had her medicine. I didn't ask anything more as she looked a bit uncomfortable answering the question , maybe it was sensitive to her , hell it will be sensitive because it is. I tried to divert the conversation,
‘Do you like the rain’? I asked as she was looking outside the window. She faced me and then answered,
‘Never been a fan but i think it's alright.
Do you?’
‘No, I hate it. When my mother died, it was raining so i guess i like to blame it’.
‘I'm sorry, I didn't know Rivaan’. She said as she reached for my hands and held them. Her hands were cold and in a way it complimented the warmth that I had. I never want let go of these hands so i held them tighter and said,
‘Dont say sorry, i was the one who brought it up and you know i cant solely blame the rain, there were many people who were at fault’. He replied.
‘You know that you are not one of them right? She said it in a way that I almost believed it, almost.
I just smiled and then she continued,
‘I don't know what happened and you don't have to tell me but I know you enough to know that you loved your mother and you would have done anything to protect her, you are a good son Rivaan’. She used the word are and not were, sometimes it feels like she knows what I want to hear. She knows… me.
‘You know nobody told me that my grandfather has passed away for 15 days, my parents told me that he was in recovery and all the rituals were performed without me , without me knowing. The doctors told that stress could affect my health and maybe the transplant will fail so they chose not to tell me, and when eventually my kidneys failed and i got to know that my grandfather is dead, i let the guilt soak me, i let it soak me till i cant breath and it was until today, when you, Mr, Rivaan awasthi, you made me realise that maybe it wasn't my fault.’ She gripped my hands tighter.
‘It wasn't Tira’. I said.
‘Exactly, it wasn't, just like it wasn't your fault, believe it please.’ She replied with her beautiful soft eyes.
Her words cured all the pain i had, just simple words that i have heard before but never believed made sense, i have never felt this kind of peace since a long time and i just wanted to thank her for giving me this relief even if it was for a moment. I clasped her hand in a firmer grip and placed a soft kiss upon it and as i looked towards her to say thankyou she said,
‘I know, it's okay. You don't have to thank me’. She smiled
I thought to myself I never wanted this moment to end but unfortunately it was as our food arrived.
‘You okay’.She asked as we settled back to our seats.
‘Yes, thanks and now let's dig in’. I smiled
‘Okay, so what did you order for me captain’.
‘It's a secret spinach and corn sandwich, the secret is that it has caramelised onions and potato with a hazelnut coffee’. I replied
‘Wow, sounds delicious’.
‘Is, let's eat now and then we will head out to our place, cool?’
‘Done’. She smiled.