there she goes - jschlatt

sudden realizations

it had been a week since that disastrous night at the bar, and I still couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment. my mind kept replaying our conversation, the way he'd belittled something I was passionate about. it hurt more than I wanted to admit, and I found myself avoiding social media, the podcast, and anything that reminded me of him.

but fate had other plans.

on a bright saturday afternoon, I decided to meet up with a few friends at a local park for a casual picnic. the sun was shining, and the atmosphere was buzzing with laughter and chatter. I tried to keep my spirits high, hoping to push aside the lingering confusion about Schlatt. as I laid out the picnic blanket, I felt a sense of normalcy wash over me. the sound of laughter echoed around me as my friends chatted and joked. it was nice to escape the noise in my head, even if only for a little while.

but that peace shattered when I saw him.

sliding into view, Schlatt walked through the park, his tall frame unmistakable. my heart raced, but not just from surprise. I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. he wasn't alone.

I squinted against the sunlight, trying to catch a better look. next to him was a girl with long, wavy hair and a vibrant smile that seemed to draw everyone's attention, especially his. they were laughing together, the kind of laughter that seemed to echo in the air like an inside joke. my breath caught in my throat, and I felt a mix of anger and confusion wash over me.

was this the same guy who had been so harsh just a week ago? the one who had made me question everything about our connection? seeing him like this—so at ease, so happy with someone else—felt like a punch to the gut.

"are you okay?" my friend laura asked, her voice pulling me from my thoughts

"yeah, I'm fine," I replied, though I knew I was lying. my gaze drifted back to Schlatt, and I couldn't help but watch as he leaned in closer to the girl, whispering something that made her laugh again. there was a familiarity there that felt so intimate, so... wrong.

"you sure? you look a bit pale," laura pressed, concern etched on her face.

"just... surprised to see someone I know," I said, trying to downplay it. I didn't want to let on how much it affected me, how my heart was racing for all the wrong reasons.

"who?" she asked, glancing in the direction I was staring.

"um, just a friend," I mumbled, not wanting to admit the truth.

as I forced myself to look away, I felt a whirlwind of emotions crashing over me. jealousy, confusion, and a twinge of sadness mixed together like a chaotic storm. why did I care? we weren't even dating; he had made that clear. yet seeing him with someone else ignited a fire inside me that I couldn't explain.

"do you want to join us?" laura asked, gesturing to the picnic. I forced a smile, knowing I needed to get out of my own head.

"sure, let's just... give me a minute," I said, feeling the weight of the moment settle in my chest.as I took a deep breath, I realized I couldn't stay in this bubble of confusion forever. I needed to confront my feelings—about him, about myself, and what all of this meant. but as I stole another glance at Schlatt, I was reminded of how complicated everything had become.

the girl he was with leaned in closer, brushing her shoulder against his. I felt a twinge of something—was it betrayal? anger? it was a reminder that I had opened up to him, shared my past, and yet here he was, laughing with someone else like it was nothing.

"hey, charlotte! come join us!" my friend beckoned, and I turned back to my friends, forcing myself to focus on them.

but the knot in my stomach remained, twisting tighter as I tried to shake off the image of Schlatt with her. I couldn't ignore the way it affected me, and I couldn't pretend that my feelings for him were just a passing phase. deep down, I knew I needed to talk to him. but as I watched him from afar, a sinking feeling settled in my chest. would I find the answers I was looking for, or would it only lead to more questions?