there she goes - jschlatt

on the outside

the night air felt cold against my skin as i stepped outside, the noise from the bar fading into a distant hum. i wrapped my arms around myself, letting the breeze push through the gaps in my jacket. the streetlights cast long, distorted shadows on the pavement, and i wandered aimlessly, hoping the cool air would clear my head.

every step i took felt heavy, each one dragging me deeper into my own thoughts. tucker's words echoed:
"you can't let fear hold you back."
 but fear was the one thing i knew too well. it had been there for so long—something familiar, almost comfortable. stepping out of that, confronting the uncertainty that came with feelings for someone like schlatt... it terrified me.

i kicked at a loose pebble on the sidewalk, watching it skitter across the pavement. why was it so hard to say how i felt? maybe it was because schlatt wasn't easy to read. sometimes he was kind—his smile, the way his eyes crinkled when he was genuinely amused—but other times, he was distant, almost harsh. and it reminded me too much of things i'd rather forget.

it wasn't fair to compare him to my past, i knew that. but every time his voice took on that sharp edge or when i caught him drinking just a little too much, i felt that familiar ache. a warning. and when sierra was around, it was easier to let those doubts take root, convincing myself that maybe he was better off with someone like her—someone brighter, lighter.

my phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. tucker's message lit up the screen:

| "hey, where'd you go? everything okay?"
i stared at the message for a moment before typing back:
| "yeah, just needed some air. heading home."
the response came quickly:

| "want me to walk you?"

i hesitated, my thumb hovering over the keys. tucker was sweet—always looking out for me—but tonight, i needed space.

| "no, i'm good. thanks though."as i pocketed my phone, i heard footsteps behind me. my heart leapt, and for a second, i almost hoped it was tucker. but when i glanced back, there he was—schlatt. jogging to catch up.

"char, wait up!" he called, his breath visible in the chilly night air.

my pulse quickened as i slowed my pace, letting him catch up. "hey," i said, trying to keep my voice neutral. "what are you doing out here?"

"looking for you," he replied, falling into step beside me. "you left so suddenly, and i thought—" he paused, glancing at me. "i thought something was wrong." he stated, slurring his words. this wasn't the schlatt i know.

i shrugged, looking away. "just needed some space, that's all."

he didn't say anything for a moment, and we walked in silence. i could feel the tension between us, and it made my chest tighten. "you seemed off tonight," he said finally, his tone cautious. "is it because of sierra?"

i bristled. "why would it be because of her?"

"i don't know." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "you just... you've been distant lately."

distant. the word hung between us, and i fought the urge to laugh bitterly. "maybe i'm just tired," i muttered, trying to brush it off. "it's been a long day."

he stopped walking, and i felt the weight of his gaze on me. "is that all?" his voice was softer, almost gentle—a side of him i didn't see often.

i hesitated, the urge to spill everything battling with the fear that had kept me quiet for so long. "it's complicated, schlatt."

he frowned, his eyes searching mine. "i'm here, char. you can talk to me."

but could i really? every time he was close, i felt that spark, but then i remembered how he could be—sharp words, too many drinks. it was like he was two different people, and i didn't know which one i'd get.

before i could respond, sierra's voice called out from behind us, bright and cheerful. she waved as she jogged over, her eyes flicking between me and schlatt. "hey, you two! what are you doing out here?"

the moment slipped through my fingers, and i felt myself pull back, my expression hardening. "nothing. i was just heading home."


"oh, well, mind if i walk with you?" she asked, beaming. "schlatt, you coming?"

he glanced at me, hesitation flickering in his eyes. for a second, i thought he might stay, but then he turned to sierra. "yeah, sure."

i forced a smile, stepping back. "i'll catch you both later."

"you sure?" schlatt asked, his tone uncertain.

"positive," i said, turning before they could see the frustration and hurt on my face. "goodnight."as their footsteps faded, i shoved my hands deeper into my pockets, letting the cold night swallow me. maybe this was how it was meant to be—me on the outside, watching him walk away. and maybe that was safer.

because the last time i let someone in, i ended up with more than just a broken heart.