there she goes - jschlatt

fractured facades

the air was thick with anticipation as the days passed since our conversation at the arcade. I tried to act normal around schlatt and the others, but every laugh, every glance felt like a crack in my carefully constructed facade. I could sense a shift in the air—a tension that seemed to pulse between us, unacknowledged but ever-present.

that evening, we gathered at tucker's house for a movie night, the kind of gathering that usually brought laughter and lightness. but this time, I felt like I was watching from the outside, the colors muted and the sounds distorted.

as the movie played, I found myself stealing glances at schlatt. he was sitting on the couch, a comfortable distance from me, but every so often, our eyes would meet, and my heart would skip. he was animated as he joked with ted and tucker, his laughter ringing out like music. but beneath that laughter, I saw the undercurrent of something else—a weight he carried that I couldn't quite grasp.

"char, are you even watching?" tucker's voice broke through my reverie.

"huh? oh, yeah," I replied, forcing a smile as I turned my attention back to the screen. but the plot faded into the background, my mind consumed by thoughts of schlatt and sierra, their interactions playing on repeat in my head.

just then, ted leaned over, whispering, "you okay? you've been quiet all night."

"just tired," I murmured, wishing it were that simple.

after a few more moments of watching, I decided I needed a break. "I'll be right back," I said, standing up. "I need some air."

as I stepped outside, the cool breeze hit my face, a welcome relief from the stifling atmosphere inside. I walked to the edge of the porch, leaning against the railing and staring up at the stars. the night sky was a blanket of twinkling lights, but the beauty of it felt lost on me.

a few moments later, I heard the door creak open. I turned to see schlatt stepping out, his expression serious. "you alright?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

"just needed a breather," I said, trying to sound casual, but my heart raced at his presence."you've been off lately," he said, leaning against the railing beside me. "I can't help but feel like I did something."

"it's not you," I replied, glancing away. "it's just... everything."

he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "look, about what we talked about—"

"schlatt," I interrupted, my voice firm. "I don't want to complicate things between us. I just need some time to figure things out."

"time?" he echoed, a flash of frustration crossing his features. "how much time do you need?"
"as much as it takes," I said, my heart pounding. "I don't want to mess this up."

"you're not messing anything up," he insisted, stepping closer. "but if we keep avoiding this, it'll only get worse."

"maybe it's better if we just keep things light for now," I suggested, forcing a smile that felt brittle.

"light?" he repeated, disbelief evident in his tone. "char, we're already on thin ice. how is pretending like this going to help us?"

I opened my mouth to argue but found myself at a loss for words. part of me wanted to dive deeper into the conversation, but the other part—a part shaped by past pain—screamed to run.

"maybe I'm not ready to face it," I admitted quietly, my voice barely above a whisper."not ready?" he asked, his voice softening. "I get that. but you don't have to go through this alone."

I swallowed hard, grappling with the vulnerability of his words. "it's just... I don't want to be a burden, you know? I don't want to drag you into my mess."

"you're not a burden," he replied, his gaze steady. "and I don't mind being dragged in. I want to be there for you, but I need to know you want me there too."

the silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken words. I could feel the weight of his gaze, the hope and uncertainty mingling in the air. but the walls I'd built around myself felt insurmountable, and the thought of tearing them down filled me with dread.

"I need to go back inside," I said finally, breaking the moment. I turned away, the ache of regret pooling in my chest.

"char," he called after me, but I didn't look back. I walked inside, the laughter and chatter wrapping around me like a comfort blanket, but the moment I stepped back into the room, the weight returned.

the movie had reached a critical moment, but I couldn't focus. I sat down on the couch, feeling the space beside me where schlatt had just been. I could sense him watching me, the tension between us a live wire.

after the movie ended, tucker stood up, stretching his arms. "who wants snacks? I think I have some popcorn left!"

"me!" I said, eager for a distraction.

"I'll help," schlatt offered, standing up. he cast me a quick glance before following tucker to the kitchen, leaving me with my swirling thoughts.

"are you two good?" ted asked quietly, leaning in as the others started talking.

"I don't know," I confessed, running a hand through my hair. "it feels like we're on different pages."

"maybe you need to stop dancing around it," he suggested, his voice low. "you both care about each other. it's time to be honest."

"but what if honesty breaks everything?" I shot back, frustration boiling over.

"or it could be the start of something real," he countered. "you won't know until you try."

I glanced toward the kitchen, where schlatt was laughing with tucker, a small smile playing on his lips. the warmth in his laughter made my heart ache, and I realized how much I wanted to bridge the gap between us.

"maybe I'll talk to him," I said slowly, feeling a flicker of determination. "but not tonight. I need to sort through my own thoughts first."

ted nodded, respect shining in his eyes. "just don't wait too long, char. you might lose your chance."

the words echoed in my mind as the night wore on, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was standing at a crossroads. the facade I had built was beginning to crack, and I knew I had to confront the truth before it all came crashing down.

as the laughter filled the room, I felt a storm brewing inside me, a conflict of hope and fear. but beneath it all, there was a resolve forming—a desire to embrace the uncertainty and take that leap of faith.

the night faded into the soft glow of dawn, and with it came a promise that change was on the horizon.