WOULD YOU RESCUE ME?

6. The morning after

Vanessa woke up before the sun, her internal clock never failing her, even after the haze of too many drinks. She lay still for a moment, feeling the warm weight of Astra's arm draped over her waist. The room was dark, filled only with the soft rise and fall of Astra's breaths beside her. The peacefulness of the moment was almost enough to make Vanessa close her eyes again, to forget everything she'd told herself in the quiet hours of the night.But the thoughts from the night before crept back into her mind, and she found herself staring up at the ceiling, replaying every word, every touch. She felt a pang of regret, maybe not for the night itself, but for the realization that came with it. She couldn't fall for Astra, no matter how much she felt drawn to her. The stakes were too high, and she didn't trust herself to navigate them. It was safer, easier even, to let whatever this was slip away before it got too real. So, Vanessa made a decision then and there: she'd keep things light, make sure that whatever happened between them would stay in the past. She'd forget the pull she felt toward Astra, even if she already knew it was impossible. A small, wistful smile tugged at her lips, if only her heart could follow the plan as easily as her mind.With a gentle, practiced movement, Vanessa slipped out from under Astra's arm, careful not to wake her. She stood quietly at the edge of the bed, watching Astra for a moment. There was a softness to her features that made Vanessa's chest ache, she looked so different from the intense girl she'd clashed with just a day ago. It would be easy to get lost in someone like her, Vanessa thought. Too easy.She shook the thoughts away and crept out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her as quietly as she could. Entering the small kitchen, she flipped on the light, its harsh glow bringing her back to reality. She glanced around, realizing just how empty her shelves were, there was barely anything to eat. She'd moved in recently, and most of her stuff was still packed away, waiting for when she'd find the time to organize it all.Sighing, Vanessa rubbed a hand over her face. The least she could do was make breakfast before Astra woke up, as a small gesture of... well, whatever it was. But with nothing in the kitchen, she knew she'd need to run out and grab something. It was too early to leave yet, though; not many places would be open, and she didn't want to leave Astra alone for too long. So she decided to kill time with an old habit.

She pulled out a worn, leather-bound notebook from the drawer by the kitchen sink, her journal, filled with messy handwriting and scattered thoughts. In it were fragments of poems she'd written, thoughts she'd been too afraid to say out loud, and faded photos with the people that she loved the most in her life. As she flipped through the pages, memories poured out, each one tinged with a mix of nostalgia and longing.Vanessa found a blank page near the back and let her thoughts spill out through her pen, each line a reflection of the swirling emotions she couldn't quite voice:
Morning light, borrowed time, A stranger's warmth, a quiet crime. I lie here wishing for a way, To keep the night and lose the day.

She paused, the pen hovering over the page, then wrote a little more, letting her mind drift. Writing was her way of making sense of the chaos, of trapping feelings on paper before they slipped away. She didn't know why, but she wrote about Astra: her smile, the softness in her touch, the way she made everything feel so complicated and simple all at once.

By the time she finished, the clock on the wall read 7:00 AM, and she knew it was time to head out. She grabbed her keys and slipped on her jacket, casting one last glance at the closed door of her bedroom before quietly leaving the apartment.Outside, the air was crisp, the early morning coolness lingering before the sun fully rose. Vanessa walked down the steps of her building, all the way back to the bar where she was last night. The streets mostly empty, save for a few joggers and the occasional car passing by. Her motorbike was parked where she left it.

 She swung her leg over, feeling the familiar comfort of the seat beneath her, and revved the engine to life.

The city was just starting to wake up as she rode through the quiet streets. She took the long way, enjoying the solitude of the empty roads, letting the wind clear her head. It was easier to think like this, away from the weight of last night, away from the emotions she didn't want to face. For a moment, she could pretend it was just her, the bike, and the open road.She pulled into a small café on the corner of the street, one that she'd passed a few times but never had a reason to stop at. The bell above the door chimed as she walked in, and she ordered a few pastries, some fresh fruit, and two coffees. As she waited, she found herself wondering what Astra would think of the gesture. She quickly brushed the thought aside. It didn't matter. It was just breakfast, after all.With the food in hand, Vanessa headed back to her bike, balancing the paper bag carefully as she made her way back to her apartment. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, casting a warm glow over the city, and for a brief moment, she allowed herself to hope that maybe this morning could stay simple, even if the feelings beneath it were anything but.When she returned to her apartment, she hesitated for a moment outside the door, listening for any signs of movement inside. It was still quiet, and Vanessa took a deep breath, bracing herself for whatever might come next. She pushed open the door, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air as she stepped back into the small space.
As Vanessa turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door, she was greeted not by the quiet of the apartment but by Astra standing in the doorway of the bedroom. Astra's hair was tousled, her face softened by sleep, and she seemed momentarily surprised by the sight of Vanessa with a bag of breakfast in hand.For a moment, they just looked at each other, unsure of what to say. The weight of the previous night hung between them, unspoken but undeniably present. Vanessa, never one to sit in silence for too long, broke the tension with a playful smirk."Well, I had to go back to the bar to get back the love of my life," she said, raising the paper bag slightly.Astra raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a half-amused smile. "Oh? And what exactly is the love of your life, Vanessa? Beer?"Vanessa chuckled, shaking her head. "No, not beer," she said with a grin, "Just my bike."Astra rolled her eyes, a small laugh escaping her lips. Vanessa felt a bit of the tension ease, the moment feeling lighter than it had in days. She held up the bag of pastries and coffee with a more genuine smile. "But I figured breakfast wouldn't hurt either."Vanessa motioned toward the small table by the window, and Astra followed, the two of them sitting down as Vanessa spread out the pastries and poured the coffee into a couple of mismatched mugs. Astra's gaze softened as she looked at the spread and then at Vanessa."Thanks... This was really thoughtful. Also.. How are you feeling?" Astra said, her voice carrying a hint of something deeper—appreciation, maybe, or the echo of last night's tenderness.Vanessa shrugged off the compliment, feeling an unfamiliar warmth at the sincerity in Astra's tone. "I'm fine don't worry and the breakfast it's nothing. Just didn't want you waking up to an empty apartment, you know?"As they dug into their breakfast, the conversation drifted to safer topics—music, specifically. Astra had noticed the two guitars in Vanessa's room: one electric, a blue with purple ends gibson les paul, and the other cherry wood acoustic guitar by fender, with a more worn, well-loved look to it."So, you play?" Astra asked, nodding toward the bedroom door where the guitars sat against the wall.Vanessa nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Yeah, I do. It's something I've always liked—helps me clear my head, you know? Singing, playing... it's like a release. Calms me down, makes me feel like everything else doesn't matter for a little while."Astra leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands. "It suits you," she said softly. "I get the feeling you've got a lot you keep bottled up in there."Vanessa gave a short laugh, but it lacked its usual edge. "Maybe. It's just... peaceful, I guess. A way to put all the mess inside into something that makes sense."For a moment, the words between them fell away, leaving the apartment in a gentle silence. Vanessa looked up and found Astra already staring at her, those green eyes filled with a quiet intensity. She felt a flutter of uncertainty in her chest, a rush of feelings she didn't know how to name.Astra didn't look away, her voice dropping to something softer, more earnest. "Play something for me?"Vanessa's instinct was to deflect, to joke, to keep things from getting too real. She cleared her throat, glancing out the window as if she could find an excuse there. "It's too early. And besides, I don't even know what I'd sing right now."Astra leaned closer, catching Vanessa's gaze again. Her voice dropped even lower, a little smile playing on her lips. "I'm sure you can think of something... especially now that you've got some new inspiration."Then, before Vanessa could think of another excuse, Astra closed the gap between them, pressing her lips against Vanessa's in a gentle kiss, and even if Vanessa wanted to pull apart her body deepened the kiss. The world seemed to fall away, leaving only the warmth of Astra's mouth and the soft pressure against her own. It was different—there was no rush, no frantic energy like the night before. It felt... sincere, a wordless question that Vanessa couldn't ignore.Astra pulled back, just enough to look into Vanessa's eyes. "Play something for me, please?" she whispered, her hand resting lightly on Vanessa's arm.Vanessa hesitated, caught between the tangled mess of her thoughts and the simple, unguarded emotion she saw in Astra's expression. Her mind told her to pull away, to keep the distance she'd planned on, but her heart—well, it was a different story altogether. That kiss had left her feeling different, like maybe this was worth exploring, despite all the reasons she had to walk away."Alright," Vanessa finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. She rose from the table and crossed the room to retrieve her acoustic guitar, the one that had seen her through more sleepless nights than she could count. She settled back down in her chair, adjusting the strings as she tested a few chords, letting the familiar feel of the instrument calm her nerves.She glanced at Astra, who was watching her with an expression that was almost hopeful. Vanessa's fingers stilled on the strings as she searched for the right words, the right melody, before settling on one she knew well More Than Life by MGK. It wasn't a song she'd planned to play, but the lyrics felt too fitting to ignore.As she began to play, the melody filled the small apartment, her voice low and uncertain at first but gaining strength as she continued. The words spilled out, raw and unfiltered, carrying more truth than she'd intended to share. Astra's eyes stayed locked on her, and Vanessa felt the tension in the air grow with every note, every line that seemed to mirror the unspoken feelings between them.Vanessa sang, the words heavy with meaning as they left her lips. She saw Astra's expression shift, the intensity in her gaze deepening as if she understood exactly what Vanessa couldn't say out loud. The apartment felt smaller, the air thick with something unnamable, and Vanessa's heart pounded in time with the strum of her guitar.
By the time she finished the song, the silence that followed was thick, charged with the weight of everything they hadn't said. Vanessa's hands stilled on the strings, her breath coming faster than before. She dared a look at Astra, who had inched closer during the song, her face soft with a mix of emotions that Vanessa couldn't quite decipher.