WOULD YOU RESCUE ME?

19.Edge of Honesty

As Vanessa and Astra's intense conversation hung thick in the air, the door creaked open. Luke stepped in, his presence like a breath of fresh air to Vanessa. His tall frame, calm yet concerned expression, and the slight frown creasing his brow showed he knew something was amiss. He glanced between the two girls, assessing the tension in the room with a quiet, steady gaze."Hey, Vanessa," he started softly, his voice like an anchor pulling her out of her turmoil, "how're you feeling?" He came closer, crouching down so his eyes were level with hers, genuine concern etched in every line of his face.Vanessa looked up at him, momentarily hesitant, before a small, reassuring smile crept onto her lips. "I'm... I'm fine now," she answered, her voice still a little weak. "I can still feel some of the effects from... the GHB, or whatever that shit was, Jake gave me. But I'm way better than I was last night." Her voice faltered slightly, as if mentioning Jake and the drug had stirred up residual fear, but Luke's reassuring nod helped keep her grounded.Luke's eyes softened, yet his jaw tightened at her mention of the drug. He reached out, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze of support. "Good to hear," he said quietly, his tone brimming with an unspoken promise that he'd look out for her. Then he cleared his throat, shifting the mood as he straightened up. "Everyone else left already. It's just me, Simon, Maya, Amy, and Cassy, and we thought we'd grab some breakfast downstairs at the bar. Figured you'd want to join?"Vanessa felt a surge of relief mixed with excitement at the thought of being surrounded by her friends, escaping from this tense moment for just a bit. She looked over at Astra, almost like a child silently pleading for permission. The look in her eyes was earnest, carrying an undercurrent of hope that Astra would understand her need for a reprieve. Astra's face softened as she let out a barely perceptible sigh, clearly reluctant but understanding. She nodded, though a hint of disappointment flickered in her gaze, knowing Vanessa was seizing this opportunity to avoid their difficult conversation.Vanessa bit her lip, feeling a pang of guilt, but the promise of a lighter, more familiar setting tugged at her. She turned back to Luke, her smile widening. "Yeah, we'd love that," she said eagerly. "Just give me a few minutes to freshen up and we'll meet you all downstairs."Luke grinned, his usual, easy-going charm showing through. "Sounds like a plan. We'll be waiting for you two girls" he said, giving her a quick, reassuring wink before stepping out of the room. The door closed softly behind him, leaving the two girls alone once again. Vanessa stood, smoothing down her clothes, her mind already halfway out of the room and into the warmth of their friends' company. Astra watched her, arms crossed and lips pressed in a resigned line, knowing that the conversation they needed to have would have to wait.

Vanessa felt a pang of guilt as she watched Astra's disappointed expression. She knew Astra was right, that they needed to have this conversation, but the thought of facing it was daunting. With a quiet, almost reluctant sigh, she turned back to Astra, a gentle yet earnest look in her eyes.

"I promise, Astra," she said, her voice steady but softened with a hint of pleading. "After breakfast, we'll head home, and we'll finish what we started. I just... need a bit more time to get ready to talk about... everything." Her words trailed off, revealing the weight she felt pressing against her chest.Astra crossed her arms, her expression hardening. She wasn't entirely convinced. It was obvious Vanessa was delaying this talk, hiding from a past she wasn't ready to face. Astra's brows drew together, her voice taking on a sharper edge as she replied, "We have a lot to talk about, Vanessa. A lot." She held Vanessa's gaze for a long moment before turning abruptly, heading to the bathroom with swift, determined steps. The door closed sharply behind her, leaving Vanessa standing in the stillness of the room.For a moment, Vanessa simply stood there, staring at the door. Astra's words echoed in her mind, striking a nerve that made her feel both vulnerable and ashamed. Astra cared deeply for her; Vanessa knew that. But she also knew Astra was frustrated with her endless procrastination, the way she kept running from shadows of the past she wasn't ready to confront.Unable to sit still, Vanessa crossed the room, hovering just outside the bathroom door. She heard the rhythmic sound of water running, each drop pattering against the sink like a subtle reminder of Astra's simmering frustration. After a few minutes, the water stopped, and in the newfound silence, Vanessa hesitated before gently knocking on the door."Can I come in?" she asked quietly, her tone almost timid.Astra opened the door, her expression one of ironic amusement. She raised an eyebrow, a sharp glint in her eye as she quipped, "See, letting someone in isn't that hard. Just takes opening a door." Her words were pointed, and Vanessa caught the meaning instantly, her cheeks flushing with a mix of embarrassment and remorse.She stood still, feeling the weight of Astra's words settle in her chest. "I'm... sorry," Vanessa murmured, the apology sounding softer, more vulnerable than before. "I mean it. After breakfast, we'll talk. I know I've been avoiding it, and I know it's not fair to you."Astra's expression softened for a fleeting moment, but she quickly steeled herself again. She wanted to believe Vanessa, but she also knew how Vanessa could be. If she gave in, Vanessa would likely use her charm, her touch, her words to sidestep the difficult topics, prolonging the inevitable. And even though Astra wanted to be close to Vanessa, she also knew she couldn't help her if she kept giving her an easy escape.With a calm but slightly guarded tone, Astra replied, "Vanessa you are not fine... I see it every time you hear a non-expected phone call, or when you sleep-talk, or whenever you wake up screaming with your heart racing in the middle of the night. But yes, we can wait until after breakfast. But until then... I need a bit of space." She let her words hang in the air, giving Vanessa a chance to process them fully.Vanessa's heart sank a little at Astra's words, but she understood. She knew herself too well; she'd try to delay things, possibly attempt to charm Astra to distract from the real issues. And Astra, aware of this, was putting up a wall, a necessary boundary Vanessa couldn't cross.Astra continued, her voice steady and measured, "You know I care about you, Vanessa. But I can't help you if you keep hiding. And I can't let you keep... using me to avoid what you need to face." Her tone was firm but compassionate, as though she were drawing a line in the sand to protect both of them.Vanessa felt the urge to reach out, to hold Astra, to find some comfort in her touch. But she could see, in Astra's steady gaze, that now wasn't the time. This wasn't a moment for soft reassurances or empty promises. It was a moment for honesty, a step Vanessa knew she had to take, no matter how much it frightened her.So she nodded, taking a step back. "Thank you... for understanding," she whispered, knowing Astra's patience wasn't unlimited. She could feel the weight of everything she had left unspoken, the things she had run from, pressing against her, and Astra was right. She couldn't keep running, couldn't keep hiding.With a deep breath, Vanessa turned away, readying herself to face whatever the morning would bring. The promise of a delayed conversation loomed over her, but this time, she was determined not to run.Ten minutes later, Astra and Vanessa, were ready and joined Amy, Cassy, Maya, Luke, and Simon downstairs. The friends greeted the two girls warmly, their voices carrying a mix of relief and concern as they asked, "Hey, how'd you two sleep? After... well, after last night, we were all a little worried."Astra responded on behalf of both of them, offering a reassuring, "We're doing okay, thanks. It was a tough night, but we're managing." Vanessa, usually quick to jump into conversations, remained silent, her gaze distant as if her thoughts were elsewhere entirely.They left the house together, moving down the quiet, sunlit street toward the bar just a few meters away. The morning air was fresh, and the early sunlight cast long shadows that stretched across the pavement. The group kept the mood light, avoiding any mention of Jake or his actions the previous night, sticking instead to lighter stories about the party, funny mishaps, and who had outlasted who on the dance floor.As they waited for their breakfast to arrive, and even while they ate, the lively chatter around the table felt almost comforting, almost, because Vanessa was lost in her own mind. Her usual presence, the one that made everyone feel connected, was absent. Instead, she sat in silence, absently pushing her food around her plate, thoughts spiraling in an endless loop. She knew she had to be honest with Astra, to face her past openly, without excuses or omissions. But each time she built up the resolve to start that conversation, a wave of doubt washed over her.Why did I decide to stop? she wondered, an unsettling question lingering at the edge of her mind. I was fine before, wasn't I? I was high, I was drunk... but I could handle it. There was a hollow justification there, one she had used countless times before. But a small voice inside reminded her that there was more to it than that. Now, with the ER team potentially testing her at any time, staying clean wasn't just a choice she could freely ignore. She had responsibilities—obligations that required her to keep it together, at least for now. As Vanessa wrestled with her thoughts, Astra's voice rose and fell with laughter, filling the spaces Vanessa usually occupied. But Astra noticed the change in her friend. It worried her, and despite her resolve to give Vanessa space, she felt the tug of concern pull her closer. Slowly, she reached under the table and placed a gentle hand on Vanessa's leg.The touch startled Vanessa. She jolted, her eyes snapping back to reality as she realized she was still surrounded by her friends. The distance she had been trying to keep, the mental escape she had been seeking, shattered in that moment. She turned to Astra, who looked back with eyes full of quiet worry. Astra's hand remained, steady and grounding, as she leaned in and whispered, "Are you okay?" Her voice was soft, careful to keep the question private.Astra expected a simple, practiced "Yes, I'm fine." from Vanessa. It would have been easy to say, a reflex she had perfected over years of concealing her struggles. But this time, something in Astra's gaze, steady and unwavering, kept her from defaulting to a hollow answer. Instead, she leaned in, brushing her lips softly across Astra's forehead in a gentle, unguarded kiss."No," she murmured, her voice barely audible, "but I will be. We'll talk about it all later." The words were spoken only to Astra, but their sincerity echoed between them, a quiet promise.Around the table, Vanessa's friends noticed the rare moment of vulnerability. Amy, Cassy, Maya, and the others shared a glance, softened expressions marking their recognition of a side of Vanessa they hadn't seen before. Normally composed and guarded, she was allowing them a glimpse of something genuine, something deeply felt. And as they exchanged silent looks, a shared warmth spread through the group. The affection between Astra and Vanessa was subtle yet unmistakable, an unspoken bond in a simple kiss. It made Vanessa's friends feel closer to her somehow, understanding that beneath her bravado and quick wit lay someone struggling, someone real and vulnerable. It was as if, in that small gesture, Vanessa had given them permission to see her for who she truly was. The rest of breakfast passed in comfortable quietness, the group's chatter softening as they savored the moment. Vanessa's hand lingered on Astra's for a second longer, and they exchanged a look, an acknowledgment that the hardest conversations were yet to come. But for now, there was a shared understanding between them, a quiet pact to face whatever lay ahead—together.The breakfast lingered a bit longer, Vanessa occasionally joining the conversation with a few jokes and smiles, though everyone sensed she wasn't quite herself. Her laughs were softer, and her responses came a little slower, as if she was half-listening, half-drifting into her own thoughts. Astra's eyes often flicked toward her, a quiet reminder of the unfinished conversation hovering between them, a weight Vanessa was trying her best to avoid, even in small moments.When they finally left, the group spilled out into the sunlight, their faces a little brighter, though the undercurrent of the previous night's tension still clung to them. They walked back toward the house together, Astra and Amy moving a few paces ahead, chatting easily, while Luke and Vanessa lagged a little behind.As they strolled, Luke cast a sidelong glance at Vanessa. "You know, you didn't really say much at breakfast," he remarked, his tone gentle but probing. "How are you really feeling?"Vanessa sighed, eyes fixed on the ground. "I'm... not great," she admitted, voice soft. "I know I need to talk to Astra about... everything. But it's not easy, and I'm not sure how to even start. Plus, I'm still feeling... off, sick and angry from last night. It's like the memory's just stuck in my head."Luke nodded thoughtfully, his face serious but sympathetic. He paused for a moment, then offered, "If you don't feel up for driving, I can give you guys a lift back. It's no trouble."Vanessa shook her head, managing a small smile. "Thanks, Luke, but I think riding my bike's exactly what I need right now. Just me, the road, and some time to clear my head. It's... grounding, you know?"Luke gave her a supportive nod, understanding the subtle need for control she was seeking. "Alright," he said. "But you know we're all here if you need anything."They reached the house, and as Luke unlocked the door, he and Amy turned to say their goodbyes to Astra and Vanessa. Amy gave Astra a quick hug and whispered, "Take care of her, okay?" Then, waving at Vanessa, she added, "You, too. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."Vanessa smiled, grateful for Amy's quiet support. "Thanks, Amy. I appreciate it."They watched as Amy and Luke disappeared inside. Vanessa walked to her bike, taking a deep breath as she ran her fingers over the handlebars. Her heartbeat quickened slightly—both from the looming conversation and the slight rush that riding always gave her. She started the engine, its hum vibrating beneath her as she waited for Astra to climb on behind her.As soon as Astra was seated, her arms wrapped around Vanessa's waist, Vanessa pulled out of the driveway and accelerated, the wind rushing past them as they sped toward Vanessa's house. She felt Astra's hold tighten slightly, and it was grounding in a way she hadn't anticipated. With each turn, each familiar street, Vanessa felt herself coming closer to something inevitable. She knew this wasn't just another ride; it was a path leading her straight to the conversation she'd been trying to dodge.When they arrived, Vanessa parked the bike, taking a deep breath as she killed the engine. She waited, hands resting on the handlebars for a moment, feeling Astra's presence behind her like an anchor. Astra slid off, and Vanessa followed, glancing at the familiar facade of her house. Her safe space, but also a place where she couldn't easily avoid things.They walked up the path in silence, and Vanessa unlocked the door, letting Astra step inside first. Once they were both inside, she closed the door with a quiet click, her heart pounding as she turned to Astra, who was watching her with a mixture of patience and concern.Vanessa hesitated, her gaze dropping to the floor. "So... I guess we're finally here. And... I can't run from it."