say you won't let go, sam winchester [ 4 ]

051. retirement

Sam walks into his and Miranda's room, his wife folding laundry.

"Hey." He greets.

"Hey. How was your little hunt?" Miranda asks.

"Good. Monsters are dead, everybody's alive." Sam says. "Hey, do you... do you ever think about retiring?"

"What, you mean, like, no more hunting? Ever?" Miranda asks.

"Yeah." Sam nods, putting his beer on his nightstand.

"I've thought about it. I didn't think you thought about it." Miranda says.

"Wha-- why not? I can think about it." Sam frowns.

"I didn't see you couldn't. I just said I didn't think you did." Miranda says. "I mean, every time you've tried, you just get sucked back in anyway. Kinda assumed you were done trying and we were stuck with it. At least until we permanently die."

"Okay, well... I-I have sometimes thought about it." Sam admits, folding the laundry with her. "Sometimes, rarely, I guess, I just... I never wanted to risk getting your hopes up or anything. But I-I do think we could do it. Someday." 

"Yeah? Before Serena's old and married?" Miranda asks.

"Ma--" Sam chokes. "Married? That-- what?" His voice raises an octave. Miranda presses her lips together to contain her laugh. "Marriage? Serena? No. No, n-no, she-- she's our little single old cat lady. They both are."

"Serena dreams of her very own Prince Charming coming to sweep her off her feet. She's not our little single old cat lady. Not right now, anyway." Miranda says. "If you're lucky, she'll change her mind in the future when she's of age to do any of those things."

"But Carly is." Sam says.

"Babe, the only one ending up alone so far is Wyatt. He'd be happy living in Antarctica with penguins." Miranda says.

"One for three. All right." Sam says and Miranda rolls her eyes. "I got time to make it three for three."

"Mm-hmm. Sure." Miranda mutters, rolling her eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"It does." Sam quickly nods. "Bu-but yes, I do think we could retire before they're all old, lonely, and animal parents."

"Yeah? What would we do?" Miranda asks.

"I don't know. They-- the kids could go to school. We could get normal people jobs. Hell, maybe even I could go back to school for a degree. Maybe not law, but-- but something." Sam says, sitting on the end of the bed. "Or we could even keep homeschooling the kids, I don't know. I mean, school is a lot of stress, especially when you have to deal with-- with peer pressure and bratty kids and teenagers and bullying an-and crappy teachers. And what if the teachers are perverts? I-I mean--"

"Hey, hey, hey, breathe. We're not sending the kids anywhere right now. They're still safely homeschooled." Miranda reminds, sitting next to him.

"Right." Sam takes a deep breath, pushing the terrifying thoughts from his head.

"When we do retire, if we ever do, I think... we could move somewhere, get a nice two story house. But we have to move somewhere it snows. Kids love it, I love it, that's non-negotiable."

"Got it." Sam nods.

"I like homeschooling them, but we could put them in extracurricular stuff, find groups. You know, homeschool groups are a thing. And maybe they'll get into sports or art o-or something. And we're both capable of homeschool, you just enjoy it more, so we could figure that out. We could alternate days we teach them."