𝐹𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑋𝑜𝑛𝑒

𝑋𝑉

She turned around slowly to face me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. My eyes stayed fixed on the floor, my mouth slightly open in disbelief. The bed sank beside me as she sat down.

She let out a deep sigh. "I didn't know he would show up like that... I'm sorry. I have the key now, and he won't be back. I'll call Joey and make sure it doesn't happen again—"

"I wanna go home, Janet," I interrupted, my voice shaky and exhausted.

She shifted to face me, her hand grazing my arm. "You're safe here, I promise. He won't ever come back," she said softly, but I moved away, cutting my eyes at her in frustration.

"Tell me you don't believe him," she asked, her voice laced with concern.

"I trusted you, with my heart," I said, my voice breaking. "But all you're ever going to do is sleep with me and date men publicly. You'll never take me seriously." Tears began to well up, threatening to spill over.

She quickly responded, "No, baby, it's not like that. Don't listen to him, he's just jealous."

I sniffled, trying to hold back my tears. "Yeah? Then what are your plans for me?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

"I've always been honest with you. I just wanted to spend time with you. I thought we had a mutual understanding, what's wrong with that?" she asked, her voice calm but defensive.

"I guess I was dumb for expecting more," I said, the lump in my throat growing tighter, shame filling me.

She moved closer, her body pressing softly against mine, her breath warm on my skin. Gently, she brushed the hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear so she could see me. But I refused to meet her gaze, still staring at the floor, feeling a mix of anger and sadness.

Her presence was overwhelming, but so was my doubt. "If we keep playing like this, I'll get hurt," I said, my voice trembling as I tried to stand up for myself, despite the overwhelming emotions.

"Nobody's playing," she insisted, her tone soft but firm. "I really care about you. I like what we have. It's safe, it's comforting... you're the one I like to come to when I need someone, when I can't escape to the beach," she added with a half smile, the charm in her voice disarming, as always.

I glanced at her, feeling myself slowly giving in. I wanted to stand my ground, to resist the pull she had over me, but it was hard. I had someone like Emily at home, someone who wasn't afraid to be open, who was proud of what we had. Emily never made me feel like a secret.

But here I was, with the woman of my dreams, and yet I was hidden, tucked away in the shadows of her fear. Janet was afraid to come out, and I was afraid of what it meant for me if I stayed. "I just want some peace of mind," she muttered, her voice quieter now. "To relax with you before I go on tour and deal with this god-awful divorce."

"And after that?" I shot back, my frustration bubbling to the surface. "You'll just keep toying with me?"

She narrowed her brows, a hint of indignation flashing across her face. "Who's toying with you? Last time I checked, you liked this as much as I did. Now I'm the bad guy?"

I hesitated before asking, "Why didn't things work with her?"

"Who?" she asked, though we both knew who I meant.

"You know who."

She sucked her teeth in irritation. "She wanted more."

"She wanted to be more than your secret?" I pressed.

"Yeah," she sighed, the admission heavy.

"But you're still in the closet," I said softly, shaking my head. "Why won't you come out?"