𝐹𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑋𝑜𝑛𝑒

𝐿𝑉𝐼𝐼𝐼

She had a way of making me feel so wanted, so cherished in her own quiet, effortless way. I hadn't felt this relaxed in what felt like forever. It was as if I were floating, weightless, on a cloud of comfort that only she could provide. My body melted into the bed, and for the first time in a long time, a real smile stretched across my face, uncontrollably. I couldn't stop it. My toes curled, and it felt so freeing, so foreign, like the weight of the world had finally lifted off my shoulders. Each corner of my mouth lifted higher, my eyes fluttering shut as a wave of pure contentment washed over me.

My back arched instinctively, as if my body was stretching toward something I hadn't allowed myself to reach for in years. It was bliss. I was in the moment, basking in it, no longer the Janet Jackson the world expected, but just a woman, feeling alive.

When I opened my eyes, the vision before me brought me back to reality, and with it came a creeping coldness. Shawn was beside me, smiling, her expression soft but charged with something I couldn't ignore. She was here, in this space with me, and for a moment, it felt like we were suspended in our own world, as if she belonged here with me, as if we belonged together.

The room was warm, the bed soft, the scent of her lingering on the sheets, filling the space with a quiet intimacy. But despite the warmth of her presence, despite the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips, there was a coldness that crept in, like a draft through a cracked window. I couldn't ignore it. I couldn't push it away.

I was here, with Shawn, but my heart... my heart was still with Mariah. It didn't matter how much I tried to bury those feelings, how much I tried to distract myself with what was right in front of me. Mariah had always been there, a constant ache in my chest, and now, it was even more pronounced, sharper, louder in this moment.

The smile that had once felt so freeing now faded, slipping from my face as if it had never existed. I sank back into the bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind racing. The coolness of the room seemed to reflect the chill in my heart. Shawn crawled up beside me, stopping just inches away. She looked so alive, so in love. Her energy radiated from her, like a warmth I should have welcomed, but instead, it only deepened the ache inside me.

She gazed at me with a look so tender, so sincere, as if I were everything she needed in this moment. But I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze. I couldn't lie to her, not now, not with everything I was carrying inside. She was here, beside me, but my thoughts were miles away, lost in memories of Mariah, of the love we had shared, and the love I had lost.

Shawn's smile was a soft promise, but the reality of my heart made it feel distant. I turned my head toward the ceiling again, wishing I could escape the pull of this silent war within myself.

Her fingers gently ran through my hair, her touch soft and intimate as she lay beside me. Her body was close, too close, the warmth of her skin grazing mine with every movement. My heart raced, and my thoughts scattered, every breath coming harder than the last.

"You're so good at that thing you do with your tongue, Janet," she murmured, her voice low and full of that intoxicating confidence that always made my heart skip a beat. "I forgot how good you felt."

Her words sent a shiver through me. She leaned in further, closing the distance between us, her breath hot against the crook of my neck. I could feel her body shift, her lips dangerously close to my ear. "You're addictive," she whispered, the words wrapping around me like a spell.

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the moment press down on me. What had I done? What was I doing here, caught up in something I promised myself I wouldn't repeat? I should've never come to her room. I should've resisted the pull of these taboo thoughts.