Swallow your pride

Torn in half

Yarra's Pov

She heard the sound of footsteps. She snapped her head towards the sound, her heart rate quickening. Sebastian stepped forward slowly, his voice soft. "Yarra," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Are you okay?"Yarra felt a shiver run down her spine as his soft voice reached her ears. She swallowed hard, her breath shaky. "No," she managed to whisper, her voice cracking. She felt the weight of everything - her guilt, her deception, her uncertain feelings. It all hung on her like a leaden cloak. He took another step closer, his voice still quiet and gentle. "Please talk to me," He reached out, gently touching her arm, his fingertips grazing her skin. Yarra felt her heart skip a beat, the gentle press of his fingertips sending a shiver through her body. She wanted to lean into his touch, to bury her face against his chest and seek comfort and understanding. But she felt frozen in place, her guilt and confusion holding her tight. "I... I don't know what to say," she whispered, her voice breaking again. "I'm a mess, Sebastian. I don't know what I'm feeling or what I want." He stepped even closer, his fingers tracing a path up her arm. "You don't have to say anything," he murmured, his voice a soothing caress. "Just... just be honest. With me. With yourself." Yarra felt her body tremble as Sebastian stepped closer, his touch sending sparks of awareness across her skin. His words, quiet yet sincere, echoed in her mind, and she found herself wanting to give in, to open up to him.
"I... I don't know what honesty is anymore," she confessed, her voice a tremulous whisper. "I feel like I'm drowning in guilt and confusion. And... and I don't want to hurt anyone."

He took another step forward, closing the gap between them, his body barely an inch from hers. "You're not drowning alone," he whispered, his voice low and intimate. "I'm here with you. Tell me what you want, Yarra. Please." Yarra felt her breath hitch in her chest, their bodies almost touching. The warmth of his nearness, the intimacy of his voice, it was both comforting and excruciating.
She wanted so badly to pour out her heart, to confess her doubts and her confusion. But she felt like her vocal cords were frozen, her heart racing in her chest. "I... I don't know what I want," she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I know what I don't want. I don't want to hurt Ominis."
"And... what about me?" he asked, his voice soft but insistent. "What do you want from me, Yarra? Do you... do you even want me?"
Yarra felt tears sting at her eyes at his question. The pain in his voice, the desperate undercurrent in his words, it all tugged at her heart. She could feel the intensity of his emotions, the depth of his wanting. And it made her guilt even more acute.
The mixture of her feelings for both Sebastian and Ominis, the memory of the previous night, all swirled together in a potent turmoil in her chest.
"I..." she started, her voice choking on the words. "I don't know, Sebastian. I don't know what I want, not really. I feel drawn to you, but...
He swallowed thickly, his voice hoarse. "Is that truly all you feel for me? A sense of being drawn to me? Nothing more?"
"No," she half-whispered, her tone pleading. "It's not just that. It's more. So much more. But... I'm married to Ominis. I can't just... act on my feelings. I took vows, made promises. I... I can't just ignore that."

Sebastian's jaw clenched tightly, his voice coming out strained. "You swore your devotion to him, but what about your happiness? What about what you truly want... and what you truly feel?" Yarra felt the weight of his question, the intensity in his voice. The turmoil in her heart was reaching a boiling point, the confusion and guilt threatening to consume her. "I... I really don't know what I want," she repeated, her voice cracking. "I know what I feel for Ominis, it's like comfort and warmth. And I know what I feel for you, it's like fire, like... like a burning passion. But... but I don't know which is stronger. And I don't know what to do."

Sebastian's PoV

Sebastian felt a pang in his heart at her words. The conflict she felt was palpable, he could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. It was tearing her apart, the battle between her loyalty to Ominis and the pull she felt towards him.
He stepped closer, closing the gap between them even further. His hand came up to gently touch her cheek, fingers brushing her skin. "Look at me, Yarra," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "Please, just... just look at me."
Slowly, she lifted her gaze to meet his, her eyes wide and full of conflict and uncertainty.
Sebastian returned her gaze, his eyes burning with intensity. He kept his hand on her cheek, tracing soft, soothing patterns against her skin, as if trying to ground her.
"You feel this too, Yarra," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "This pull, this connection. It isn't nothing. It isn't just a passing fancy. It's real. We are real. You know it as well as I do."