Swallow your pride

New life, new beginning

Yarra's PoV

Yarra was lying in bed again. Ominis sat on the edge of the bed at her feet. She didn't want to look at him. Sebastian's mention of Anna reopened her wounds.
"Yarra, look at me," Ominis said, his voice a gentle plea. "Please, talk to me." Yarra's body tensed as Ominis spoke, her eyes refusing to meet his. His voice, though gentle, did nothing to soothe the raw emotions coursing through her. She took several deep, shuddering breaths, struggling to quell the rising tide of anger and hurt. She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking, "What do you want me to say, Ominis?", her voice was weary and resigned.

Ominis winced. " I want you to talk to me, Yarra," he said quietly. "I want to know what's going on in your head, how you're feeling. I can tell you're hurting, and I want to help." Yarra thought about everything that had happened. They both made mistakes, first she cheated on him the day before the wedding, then he cheated on her, on the day of the wedding. What was worse? .... She was carrying a child, whose father could be either Ominis or Sebastian. Still, she... somehow... somehow knew that the child was Sebastian's.
"Do you even consider the possibility that Sebastian fathered the baby?" she asked Ominis, while stroking her belly.

Ominis's face froze, his body going tense. "Yes," he admitted quietly, his voice tight. "I have thought about it. But... I trust ...I hope ... that the child is mine." Yarra felt a pang of irritation at Ominis's hopeful response. She bit her tongue to prevent herself from lashing out. Her stomach churned at the thought of him hoping the baby was his. She struggled to keep her voice even. "And what if it's not?" she asked bluntly, her gaze finally meeting Ominis's unseeing eyes.

Ominis's usually composed demeanor cracked a little at her bluntness. His jaw tightened, his lips pressed into a thin line. "If it's... if it's Sebastian's," he said, his voice strained, "then I... I'll accept it. I'll do my best to raise the child as my own, despite... despite the circumstances." Yarra felt a rush of guilt at the pain in Ominis's voice, but she pushed it aside, overwhelmed by her own emotions. Sebastian's words echoed in her mind from earlier. "You need to tell him."
"And what about Sebastian?" she asked, her voice tinged with a hint of defiance. "Won't he want to take part in raising the child?"
Ominis's face hardened at the mention of Sebastian's involvement. "Sebastian..." he started, his voice strained. "If it turns out to be his child, he will definitely want to be involved. But that doesn't change my feelings for you, Yarra. I still want to be with you. I still want the child to be mine."

Yarra's heart twisted in her chest at Ominis's words. She knew he was hurting, but so was she. She couldn't help the bitter laugh that welled up from within her. "And what about what I want?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "You say you still want the child to be yours, but what about me? What do you think I want?"

"Yarra..." he started, his voice pleading, "You're the one I love. I want you in my life, and I want to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. But... I know you have feelings for Sebastian. And I understand if... if you want him to be the father of the child..."
Yarra felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes at Ominis's words. He was right. She did have feelings for Sebastian, and knowing that the child could be his had only made those feelings more complicated. But hearing him acknowledge it stung, and a flare of defensiveness came over her. "Maybe I do," she confessed, her voice firm. "And it's not just about the child, Ominis. It's about us, about what we are to each other. We both hurt each other. We both betrayed each other. How do we come back from that?"

"I don't know," he admitted quietly, his voice rough and raw. "But I know I want to try. I love you, Yarra. I've always loved you. I know I messed up, and I know you messed up too... But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix things between us. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix us." Yarra felt her heart ache at Ominis's confession. The raw emotion in his voice was undeniable. Despite everything, she knew that he still loved her, and part of her still loved him too. But there was a part of her that yearned for Sebastian, that felt an undeniable pull towards him.
"I want to fix us too," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. "But can we truly move past this? Past the hurt, the betrayal, the broken trust?"
"I don't know if we can," he said honestly, his hand reaching out to gently touch hers. "But I know I'm willing to try. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness and trust again. Let me prove to you that I'm worthy of your love and loyalty."