Swallow your pride

Dangerous pills

Sebastian PoV

Sebastian's frustration and anger erupted like a volcano in their room. He slammed the door open and stomped into the room with a force that shook the foundations. Fists clenched, anger boiled within him, fueling his every move. He needed an outlet, something, anything to release the flood of pain and rejection he felt. So he started punching the wall. His knuckles slammed into the solid surface, and with each strike, the force behind it grew stronger. He also hurled the furniture around the room, releasing his pent-up rage.

Ominis burst in room just as Sebastian was pummeling the wall with his fists.
"Sebastian, stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" he exclaimed, his concern evident in his voice. Sebastian didn't stop his barrage of punches against the wall. In fact, his attacks only intensified with Ominis's arrival. He didn't care about the pain he was causing to himself. In fact, he almost welcomed it as a way to distract himself from the emotional ache inside him.
"Good! Maybe then I'll feel something besides this damned ache!" he shouted, still swinging his fists against the wall.
Ominis rushed to Sebastian's side, attempting to pull him away from the wall.
"Sebastian, listen to me. Hitting the wall won't make the pain go away. It'll only make everything worse." Ominis's voice was pleading, his tone filled with urgency.
Sebastian continued to punch the wall even as Ominis tried to pull him away. He was too lost in his own pain and anger to care about the rationalities Ominis spoke.
"Get off me, Ominis!" he yelled, trying to push Ominis away. "You don't understand what it's like to feel discarded, unwanted, replaced. How would you know?"

Ominis braced himself against Sebastian's attempts to push him away, gritting his teeth as he held his ground.
"You think I don't know what it's like to feel abandoned, rejected, or replaced?" he shot back. "You think you're the only one who's ever felt pain? You're not the only one with a heart, Sebastian, and your pain doesn't give you the right to hurt yourself or others."
Sebastian paused, his fists still clenched. Ominis' words struck a chord within him. He knew deep down that Ominis was right, but that didn't erase the pain he felt.
Ominis grabbed his shoulders, "Sebastian listen to me! Yarra loves you and may never stop. I know that and even though it hurts, I respect it. The heart cannot be commanded." Ominis released him and stepped away from him. Resignedly, he sat down on the bed and continued with his head hanging down. "Maybe if the circumstances were different, she would have chosen you."

Sebastian stared at Ominis silently as he spoke. Each word stung like a whip, tearing into his already wounded heart. And the final nail in the coffin: the fact that, in a different reality, Yarra would have chosen him.
"What circumstances, Ominis?" he asked him with tension in his voice.
Ominis exhaled slowly, his own pain evident in his voice. "Recently, I received a letter from my father... and he informed me that... that our families arranged a marriage for us." he breathed out. "Anyway, Yarra and I would be together. As husband and wife."
Sebastian's heart thumped heavily in his chest as Ominis dropped the bombshell news. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His best friend and the girl he had cared for were destined to be married.
A mix of grief and anger swirled within him. The revelation was like a gut punch, knocking the wind out of him. "You... you're both engaged?" Sebastian managed to utter, his voice strained.

"Not yet. Our engagement will be announced over the holidays at the Christmas party at my family house." Ominis was silent for a moment before continuing with pain in his voice. "I think Yarra has bigger feelings for you Sebastian. She's just being rational. That's why she rejected you today."
Sebastian's anger slowly subsided as Ominis spoke, his words cutting through the haze of his fury. He leaned against the wall, panting slightly from the exertion of his tantrum. He listened Ominis uttered those words, his own heart giving a painful pang of realization.
His heart ached as he looked at his best friend, trying to make sense of the situation. "If she has such 'bigger' feelings for me, why is she letting herself be forced into this engagement with you?" he asked, his voice laced with anguish.