PUSH ME AWAY - Chris Sturniolo

-6-

Madelyn's POV

It's been a couple of days and Chris has been nothing but an asshole to me. I tried to think of something that I might have done to upset him or make him mad but I truly could not think of anything.

"Hey, where were you?" Millie's voice rang through my ears.

"Huh? What?" I asked her too, not comprehending her question properly.

"You looked lost in thought. Is everything okay?" she asked me, being able to read me like an open book.

"Yeah, it's just...you know." I told her, not even wanting to discuss about that topic.

"I'm sure everything will just fix by itself eventually. I don't know what his deal is but he's gonna get over it. Chris is not important right now. You know you can talk to me and Nick about literally anything. And if you feel overwhelmed, please, talk to Matt. He struggled with anxiety too, he'll know just what to say or do to help you." Millie said, almost making me tear up.

"Thank you, I hope you know how much I love you!" I said, grabbing her hand.

"I know, I love you too!" she replied.

Me and Amelia were on our way to the triplets house. We planned on going over at 3:30-4 pm but us girls were running a bit late. It's a good think we didn't have anything scheduled I guess, or we would've been screwed.

Millie parked her Mini Cooper next to Matt's minivan and we walked into the house. When we got to the living room, I was relieved to only see Matt and Nick there.

"Hi guys!" Millie and I said as we went to hug them.

"Hey Madi, hi sweetheart!" Matt said, hugging me then going in to kiss his girlfriend.

"Hey girls!" Nick said shortly after.

"You guys promised you'd show me how to use an editing program." Millie said, remembering what the boys told her only a few nights ago.

"I know, let's go up to my room and I'll show you." Nick said, walking with Amelia towards the stairs.

"I'll grab some drinks!" Matt slightly yelled so his brother and girlfriend would hear him.

"Hey Matt? Can I ask you something?" I said, walking to where Matt was standing in the kitchen.

"Sure, what's wrong?" he asked me, a slightly concerned look now present on his face.

"I'm not entirely comfortable with sharing that with anybody, only Millie knows, but do you think there is a more quiet place in your house where I could maybe stay for a while? I just need a little bit of silence to sort out my thoughts." I told him, making sure not to overshare.

"Yeah, you can go to my room." Matt said without hesitation.

"I–are you sure? I don't want to invade your personal space or anything." I quickly said.

"Don't worry, I've hung out around you enough to tell that you're a good person with a little too much on her plate right now. Make yourself at home." Matt said, making my eyes water.

"Thank you so much, Matt!" I said, giving him a hug.

"Of course, kiddo. I'll let the others know where you are just in case they need you." he said as we let go. I thanked him again and made my way to his room.

I got comfortable, sitting in the middle of his bed, my phone plugged in because my battery died. From my backpack I grabbed a pen and a notebook. A grey notebook.

Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and whenever I had trouble voicing out my thoughts and feelings, writing them down helped me a lot.

Only this notebook wasn't just a random one. It was filled with lyrics. My lyrics. I've always been a fan of poetry and I always loved writing it. Eventually the poems turned into little songs. I was currently working on one that I decided to call "Scare myself". I took a sip out of the drink Matt got for me, grabbed my pen and let my ideas out.

Leave me all alone with the voices
End up in the wrong kind of places
Everyday's a dark situation
Trying not to oop with the poison
Paint my face cause the real me is pointless Do my nails just to rip me to pieces
Lose my mind cause I don't wanna keep it...

...sometimes I even scare myself–

"Hey Matt do you kno...oh. You're here again." Chris said as he walked into Matt's room like it was his own.

"Excuse me, do you knock?" I asked him as I hid my notebook under the blanket, annoyed that he interrupted me.

"In my house? No, I don't fucking knock. What the fuck are you doing here? Where are the others?" he answered with an arrogance that's never been seen before.

"In Nick's room. Now will you please leave?" I asked him nicely, knowing that he would've been an asshole if I argued back. I just wanted this interaction to be done.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me, ignoring my question.

"Literally none of your fucking business. Now go!" I was starting to get angry.

"You come to your friends house just to stay all by yourself? Freak!" Chris said, going out the door, not bothering to shut it behing him. I let out a sigh and got up too, packing my stuff because there's no way in hell I'm letting someone accidentally find out about my songs.

I took my backpack to the car and got back inside, going straight up to Nick's room. When I knocked on the door, Millie opened the door, letting me in. I instantly made eye contact with Chris, which made him roll his eyes. I'm starting to think that it's not Matt who has an attitude problem.

I looked at what the guys were doing and they were watching old childhood videos. Watching those three little guys run around, it made it so clear for me. These three young men in front of me were still the same three little kids they were back in Boston. Or at least, two of them, cause for some reason, the third one...the one who seemed the most joyful, energetic and loving, the one that always had a smile on his face, he hates me.

author note
about damn time I update this book too, also I know this isn't the Matt fic and I know your birthday is Friday, so happy early birthday kaylamiller20 I hoped you liked this and I love youuu💕🪄
-take care you guys,
T <3