stand here with me || h.s

20.

I would just like to say, first off, I love all of you. I see all of you. I see your comments and I see your votes and I appreciate you more than anything in this world. That's number one. Number two...I'm sorry I've been so out of it...I'm sorry I've been absent and dumb and I hope you forgive me. Numero tres...Stand Here With Me will not be as long as One Minute. It's not over yet, but within a couple of weeks, it should be very close to over. I also want to say something that Ky and I have been discussing day in and day out...real life is not fan fiction. Real life is terrible and complicated and heart breaking and love doesn't always conquer all. I'm not saying real life isn't beautiful, because it is, but I just really want you to have an open mind. We're begging you to have an open mind. A lot of thought has gone into One Minute/Stand Here With Me and Jade. Lot's of careful thinking and planning and we need you all to understand how much we put into our work. Like, kind of everything. So we just are asking for a simple bit of resect and understanding. We know what we're doing and we love what we do.
So, with that being said, here's chapter twenty. Enjoy.

Em & Ky .x

P.S. Jade isn't gone forever, but everyone needs a break now and then! (Cough, cough...Kyra works too hard also her hair is purple now you should see it it's beautiful. She's like a Filipino Ren Grace.)

Twenty : Harry

Three Months Later

Infidelity had proven to be an intensely difficult obstacle to overcome. For the most part, Hallie and I had been better than ever, but there'd always be a time where her fears and insecurities reigned, allowing paranoia to take over entirely. As much as I had wished it away, I continued to see the effects that my cheating had instilled. She was constantly scared. Scared I'd leave, scared I'd cheat, scared I'd do something. She wasn't the same girl I knew so well. She was closed off and she was distant and sure, there'd be times where my sweet girl would shine through, making me think it was all in the past, but that never lasted very long. My week in England was coming to an end and I willed going home to her, holding her. I had become so much dependent on her touch, I knew it was all going to be worth it-the wait would always be worth it.

"Harry, darling, please set the table, will you?" I followed mum's orders and grabbed three plates from the cupboard while dancing my way around the kitchen. "Hallie excited for you to be home?" I nodded.

"Hope so, yeah. M'excited to be home with her."

"How has she been, love? Any better?" I shrugged.

"She has her days..." Trailing off I began to voice the guilt that had been welling up inside of me. "I really changed something in her, mum. Everyday, I see it-something new."

"What do you mean?"

"My Hallie is barely ever there. She's scared and even borderline neurotic at times. I love her so much, god-you know how much I love her, mum, but I think I really did ruin her in a way."

"Oh Harry..."

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this..."

"Let her heal. She will heal."

"Who will heal?" My nosy, peach-haired sister sauntered into the room.

"Your brother is just worried about Hallie."

"He should be. I'm worried about the poor girl."

"Gem, not now, love."

"Mate, you cheated-like, over and over again. You broke her heart and not only did you break her heart, you pressed her face into the dirt and dragged her-"

"Gemma Anne, please!" I just stood there, my teeth gritting and my jaw locked, but knowing it all to be true. I had hurt her in so many ways, but she still loved me. She still chose me.

"I just want to fix her, Gem. I want her to be the Hallie that I fell in love with." My sister's harsh scowl faltered and she sighed. "She's insecure...she never used to be. She would walk around arse naked, if she felt like it. She covers herself and she's-she won't let me in. She showers constantly now..."

"Isn't that a good thing, dear?"

"Not with Hallie. She'd let me see those bits of her-the gory bits. The messy bits. I loved that. I loved just being with her and not having a care in the world because she knew that I loved her unconditionally. I just...I don't think she knows that anymore." They both looked at me, sorrow filling their eyes. "I can't lose her. I cannot lose her."

"You're my baby brother...and I love you-I'm saying this because I love you..." Gemma was almost always right and I was dreading to hear whatever she had to say next. "Do you ever think that maybe you're being unfair?"

"What?"

"Like, allowing her to be with you-in a relationship with you-do you think that's unfair?"

"How is it unfair? She loves me, Gemma, it's not like I forced her into this. She loves me and she chose me." Mum just stood by, listening to it all.

"That's what I'm saying. You're you. Everybody loves you, but I think that out of anyone-not factoring in us-I think she loves you the most. I don't think anyone will ever love you more than that girl loves you. I mean, do you really think she even had a say in the matter? Do you honestly believe that she had a choice?" My silence allowed her to go on. "I adore her-I adore Hallie, I really do. If you two got married tomorrow, I'd be thrilled, but that doesn't mean I'd think it's fair. I think that by taking you back...she's giving up a piece of herself that's vital. She won't ever be that girl because she won't ever be able to entirely trust you. She'll always be questioning you and she'll always be scared and deep down...she'll still be hurt. She'll always be hurt. Is that any way for you to allow her to live?"

"Goodness, Gemma! Where is all this coming from?"

"I just care about both of them I care about her and I love you, Harry. I do." She looked to mum. "Do you think they'll last, if say, they were to get hitched. Do you think things would end well?" I prayed my mother disagreed. I prayed she believed in us, but the saddened gaze that adorned her face made my stomach grow sick and told me that she was on Gemma's side in all of this.

"Harry, my love..."

"Oh my god..."

"No, no, darling, listen to me, please, will you listen to me?" I let her cup my face in her warm hands as tears filled my eyes. The sheer thought of walking away from her was too much to bear. "True love, I believe, is eternal. I told you this, when you're in love, you know. You'll know right away. I believe that you and Hallie are meant to be. I believe with every beat of my heart that you two are meant to be...but right now...Harry, sweetheart, I think your sister is right. I think it's unfair for you to allow her to take you back the way she has. I'm not opposing to a few years down the road. But, you both have to fix yourselves. She can't fix you and you certainly can't fix her. Let her heal. Let yourself heal, Harry."

"I can't even tell you how much I want to be an aunt to little Hallie's and Harry's...and I can't possibly tell you how much I truly love her...as a person, as a sister, for you...and I'm rooting for the two of you, but take this into consideration, yeah? Think about it. Think about Hallie."

"How will she feel? How the bloody hell is she going to be alright if I leave her? That would ruin her-I'd ruin her. For good this time."

"Let her go, Harry. You have to let her go."

"If you find each other...later in life, if you find your way back, then you'll know it's meant to be."

"God, mum, that is so cliché. But Harry, she's right. She's absolutely right." I was stunned. Shocked. Hurt. Angry. Angry that they felt this way. Angry that they made me think this way. Angry at myself for not thinking this way. Angry that I knew what I would have to do. Heartbroken...sick, knowing what I would have to do.

"I can't lose her."

"Maybe, in the end, you won't." Yeah, but what if I do? Maybe I will.