stand here with me || h.s

2.

Two : Hallie

New York City summers were horrendous. That's one of the things I've learned as of late. It wasn't like Southern California heat. No sir. It was absolutely suffocating. It wasn't dry and airy, it was wet and heavy and brutal and I found myself wanting to jump off the Empire State Building more than a few times. Also, trying to get around with three large pit bulls...that had proven to be a problem on many occasions. Julian, Shana—the movie's costume designer—and I had worked a system into our daily routine where we each take one dog. The apartment we rented together had more than enough space for the six of us and when Adam was in town, it still worked. But yeah, one person lugging around and trying to manage three massively strong dogs...it was certainly a safety hazard. Both mine and Griffin's heads popped up when Adam called my name. "They're out of Strawberry Cheesecake, is there another one you want?" 

"Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" He gave me a thumbs up before disappearing back inside the gourmet ice cream shop. My eyes were focused on the mile long email from one of the producers, when something a few feet away caught my eye. It wasn't unusual at all, just fücking annoying. The jackass wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he continued to blatantly snap pictures. "What's Harry been up to, Hallie?" I felt the blood rush to my head as anger boiled up inside of me. "Have you seen him?" I wasn't sure if it was vomit or not, rising up in my throat at the simple mention of his name. The sick and empty feeling in the pit of my stomach was almost unbearable. "Is he with Erin Foster? Are they dating?" 

"Dude, fück off!" I finally broke. He was and would always be my weakness.

"I'm not trying to offend you, I just wanna—"

"Fücking leave me alone, seriously!" Adam came out and was able to hear my outburst. He placed the cups of ice cream down on the table and got in the guy's face. 

"Why don't you get out of here, man..."

"It's a free country, dude, I'm just—"

"No, no, no...you're not doing anything except leaving." 

"You don't have anything to say about Harry?" He asked me again before Adam guided him away. "Not even break up confirmation?"

"She's not telling you a damn thing, get the fück out of here." After snapping what seemed like a hundred more pictures, he finally gave up and left us alone. "You okay?" I wasn't okay. My fingers were trembling, my throat was dry and scratchy and I felt nauseous.

"I'm fine, I just—I fücking—"

"I know." He tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear and nodded. "I know you do." He did a decent job of calming me down, I mean, he's had to on numerous occasions, but I'd always go home and whenever I heard his name—whenever anything was brought up about him—I'd be up all night, completely unable to fall asleep. I could mask it though, and even if Adam knew, he hid it well. "Eat your ice cream. You'll feel better." His smile was kind and comforting and I felt safe—safer.

"Thanks."

"Of course, Hal." After the holidays, I went back to LA, I got my things from Adam's and then I stayed with Marianne before coming to New York. He and I were good. We didn't have a label, we didn't need to and it was refreshing. I had a friend and a hook up buddy but he didn't push me. He didn't expect too much and I was grateful for that.  

"That realtor emailed me back about the house on Gower street."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"And...?"

"I'm going to see it next week, that first day we're back in L.A." He nodded. "I'm just worried there won't be enough room for the dogs."

"Yeah, well...what was the lot? Like eighteen-hundred square feet? They need a yard and honestly, babe...Gower Street isn't in the best area."

"Well, there's the one in Beverly Crest..." I had chosen that one mentally for the sole reason of it being the best fit and the most beautiful, but it was just so close to him. I wasn't sure if I could stand that.

"You love that place."

"It's just, I'm not sure if that's the area I want to be in."

"Because he's there?"

"No—no, I just...I don't know—I don't know."

"You loved that house, I know you did. I just don't think you should rule it out because of him." I stayed silent while spooning a few bites of ice cream into my mouth. "It's got a great yard for the dogs, two bedrooms, just like you wanted..."

"I'll think about it." Bottom line was that it wasn't going to be Adam's house, it was going to be my house. Just my house. I'm sure he knew that by the tone of my voice, I didn't want to discuss this any further. There were, in fact, a lot of things that I didn't want. I didn't want to be in New York anymore. I didn't want to talk about the fact that Harry and I could possibly be neighbors. I didn't want people taking pictures of me and I didn't want to be constantly asked about him and I didn't want to ever see him again but I also kind of did. I couldn't win.