stand here with me || h.s

21.

Twenty-one : Hallie

I was standing in the kitchen when he got home-well, back to my house. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and he held me and I didn't want him to ever let me go. I turned around and buried my face into his chest, closer to his armpit. "Hi." His hold on me tightened, but he didn't say anything. "Harry?"

"Hm?" His coo was muffled against the nape of my neck.

"Are you tired?"

"No."

"Are you upset?" The no I was expecting didn't come as quickly as the previous one.

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" He finally pulled away, but instead of saying anything, his hands began caressing my face in the softest way possible. His eyes were dark but not necessarily with lust. He looked at me like he loved me so much he was confused by it. Like it didn't make sense. "Harry, what is it?" He shook his head as his thumb grazed over my eyebrow.

"So beautiful...so, so lovely."

"Are you drunk?" His brows furrowed and he kissed my nose.

"No, Hallie. I'm not drunk."

"What's wrong with you then?" All smiles were gone as he looked at me.

"I just...I love you so much, okay? I love you more than anything in this world."

"Okay...?"

"I don't ever want you to think that I don't-that you aren't the most important person in my life."

"What happened? Did you do something?" My immediate thought was that he must've cheated. He had to have cheated. "If you did something, I need you to tell me." His eyes turned quickly, suddenly filled with sadness. Such sad eyes.

"I didn't cheat on you...I didn't-I wouldn't do that. Not again."

"Then why are you being so weird?" He pulled me in again, holding me close and smoothing down my hair.

"I just missed you. I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you. I just-I need you to know how much I love you."

"Okay." I let him hold me until it was time to pull away. Something was off.

ººº

The rest of the day went by in a blur. The rest of the week went by in a blur. Harry went from being so sweet and loving and affectionate, to standoffish and distant and strange...I couldn't figure anything out. I couldn't figure him out. There was something he wasn't telling me. Something was off. I could feel it deep in my gut. When he'd kiss me, he wouldn't be all there. His mind was constantly somewhere else. "What do you want to do for dinner?" His eyes stayed fixated on the picture of us on the mantle. "Harry?" Nothing. "HARRY!" I finally screamed, making him and the dogs flinch.

"What-Jesus, what?"

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"What do you mean? What do you-I don't have a problem!"

"Yes, yes you do! You're so distant! You keep spacing out and you barely talk to me...what is going on, I know something happened, I know it did! Just tell me, please, god...just fucking tell me."

"Nothing happened! Nothing fucking happened!"

"I don't believe you." He walked forward and placed his hands on the sides of my neck and aimed my face upwards.

"Well, that's the truth. Nothing happened. I didn't do anything."

"Why are you lying?" I began to cry as he hugged me.

"I'm not lying. I'm not. I won't ever lie to you. I won't ever do it."

"Don't then...just don't."

"I won't, baby. I swear it."

"And don't leave me." He didn't promise that he wouldn't. Instead, he smoothed my hair down and he kissed my neck and whispered, I love you.

ººº

The hallway in his house was long and dark and I couldn't see a thing. I couldn't see one thing. Not a picture frame, every one of us was blacked out and I was so confused. So lost. "Harry?" No answer. The house was dead silent and empty and cold. "Harry, I'm scared."

"Don't be scared, angel." He said. His voice thick with something I wasn't familiar with. I couldn't see him, only his silhouette moving closer and closer. For some reason, my feet began to take me backwards, away from him. "Why are you moving away from me? Come back." His boots sounded suddenly, loud and booming down the wooded hallway floor. "Hallie!" I ran now. I ran and I tried to close the bedroom door but his foot stopped it and he shoved it open. "Don't ever run from me." The moonlight lit his face eerily and I realized that the man in front of me wasn't Harry. He wasn't my Harry. He didn't have a heart, I was sure. Big, calloused hands grabbed ahold of mine and I was suddenly brought down onto the mattress.

"What are you doing? You're hurting me, Harry-that hurts!" I couldn't fight him off and when his hands wrapped around my neck, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't kick and I couldn't breathe and I began to close my eyes while squeaking out the words no, and stop, and don't. Something gave me a jolt of energy and I began thrashing manically, trying to escape his fatal grasp. He fought me back, kept his hold tight and unforgiving.

"Hallie!" I continued to kick and fight. "Hallie, baby..."

"Don't touch me, don't! Don't touch me!"

"Hallie, jesus, angel, wake up, wake up for me, baby..." Wake up. Wake up. Wake the fuck up. Opening my eyes, I wasn't in the dark bedroom anymore and the horrific Harry from my nightmare was no longer strangling the life out of me. Instead, my Harry took his place. The light of the early morning making him resemble a handsome, kind god.

"Why did you do that?" I cried, pitifully.

"Do what, Hal? Wake you?"

"Why did you try to hurt me?"

"Baby, baby, I wouldn't hurt you. I'd never hurt you...look at me, look at me, Hallie..." I reluctantly met his gaze. "It was just a nightmare, love. It was a bad dream." The next string of words that left my mouth were an absolute accident. I didn't want to make him feel that guilt, not anymore.

"That's how it felt when you did what you did...like you were choking me." His face, which was already somber, fell entirely and he looked as though he would be sick.

"Oh, Hallie..." I allowed his arms to keep me safe. I allowed him to hold me and rock me back to sleep. I allowed myself to once again, forgive him. Even though it wasn't on him this time. I allowed him to protect me, even if it was for a little while.