Hearts in chaos: Hearts Entwined book 4

19

As the evening wore on, Jin’s mind raced with a mixture of emotions. He sat at the kitchen table, the remnants of their dinner scattered before him, while Mia busied herself tidying up the last of the dishes. The warmth of their shared intimacy lingered in the air, but in the back of his mind, a nagging voice whispered reminders of reality.

This was just a one-time thing, he told himself, trying to push away the warmth that spread through him whenever he thought of her. I needed to release some tension, and it just happened.

Mia was special; there was no denying that. She had quickly woven herself into the fabric of his life, effortlessly taking care of Jiwoon and bringing a lightness to their home that had been missing for far too long. But with every minute they spent together, Jin felt the urgency of his feelings grow stronger, threatening to topple the carefully constructed walls he had built around himself.

I can’t get attached. He had been through enough heartbreak to know better than to open himself up again. Memories of his tumultuous relationship with Mina flooded back, and he felt a knot of anxiety form in his stomach. That kind of connection leads to pain.

He couldn’t afford to let that happen. Mia was his son’s nanny, and although they had crossed a line, he could not let himself believe it would lead to something more.

“Mia,” he called, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

“Yeah?” she replied, glancing up from the sink, water dripping from her hands as she washed the last of the dishes.

“Thank you for tonight,” he said, his voice steady. “I really needed it.”

She smiled at him, her eyes brightening with warmth. “I’m glad I could help,” she replied, her tone light. “But it was more than just a release, wasn’t it?”

Jin felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn’t ready to dive into the depths of what had happened between them, not when his mind was still battling against the feelings he was starting to acknowledge. “It was... an experience,” he said cautiously. “But let’s not make it more than it was.”

Mia’s smile faltered slightly, and he felt a pang of guilt at the shift in her expression. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he also needed to be clear about his intentions.

“Of course,” she said softly, her voice tinged with disappointment. “I just thought...” She trailed off, and Jin could see the wheels turning in her mind, the understanding of what they had shared clashing with his words.

“I think we both needed that, but we shouldn’t read too much into it,” he continued, trying to keep his tone gentle. “Our situation is complicated as it is. We have Jiwoon to think about.”

Mia nodded, her gaze dropping to the floor, and Jin felt a rush of regret for being so blunt. He hadn’t meant to make her feel small, but he needed her to understand where he stood.

“Let’s just focus on our roles for now,” he said, trying to steer the conversation back to safer ground. “You’re an amazing nanny, and I want to make sure we keep things professional.”

“Right,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I understand.”

The atmosphere shifted, and Jin could feel the tension between them thickening. He hated that he had dimmed her light, but he felt compelled to maintain some semblance of control.

As she finished up the dishes, Jin busied himself with a few leftovers, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had just pushed away something precious. **Maybe Mia was special, but special was too risky.**