Charlotte "Charlie" Shepherd is Derek Shepherd's youngest and favourite sister. After deciding to join him in moving to Seattle, in order to leave her past life behind, she starts her internship at Seattle Grace Hospital, where it eventually catches...
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02x12
Christmas was right around the corner and the house looked like it's been transported from a Christmas market. Twinkling lights were strung across the walls, garlands draped over every surface. The scent of pine and cinnamon filled the air and Izzie was bouncing around in a flurry of holiday spirit, oblivious to the tension she's decorating over.
I stood in the doorway, arms crossed, watching as she fussed with a wreath that was already perfect.
Meredith and George were nearby, sharing silent, exhausted glances. I knew that they were thinking the same thing I was - Christmas used to feel different. Lighter. Happier. Before everything got - well, complicated.
Now, it felt like we were just trying to get through it.
I took a deep breath. The festive atmosphere suffocating in a way that had nothing to do with the decorations. Christmas hasn't been the same for me in years. Not since it became an opportunity for my sisters to dissect every part of my life - the way I talk, the way I dress, the choices I've made.
Every Christmas dinner turned into a lecture, a running list of everything I was doing wrong. "That's why no man will settle down with you, Lola." They'd say it like was a fact. Like it was something I should've expected.
But last year - last year was different.
For a moment, my mind drifted back to last Christmas morning. It was just me and Mark, waking up in his apartment. He'd gotten me a present - a simple bracelet, nothing too flashy - but the way he smiled when he handed it to me, made me feel like I mattered. For the first time in years, I hadn't dreaded the holiday. I was happy, even if it was just for a fleeting moment.
I hadn't realized then, that to him, it was nothing more than a casual fling. That that Christmas, when I thought we were starting something real, was just another day for him. And now, all of that - the hope, the happiness - was gone. The emptiness that followed was worse than the years of bad Christmases before. I was fooling myself, and now I knew better.
And this year? I'm spending Christmas away from Mark and my family for the first time, but it doesn't feel any better. Derek doesn't want to be here. He probably doesn't even want to have Christmas dinner with Addison and me, and honestly, I don't blame him. The tension between them is unbearable and being caught in the middle is exhausting.
I shifted uncomfortably, watching as Izzie plugged in yet another string of lights.
"Oh, hey! What do you think? Did I go too overboard?", she asked, beaming and turning to look at us with wide, hopeful eyes.
George forced a smile. "No, it's great."
Meredith nodded in agreement, though her expression was somewhere between tired and indifferent. "We love it.", she said.
I gave Izzie a small smile, even though everything inside me was screaming that I don't belong here and that I'd rather be anywhere else. But we had to be supportive - Alex cheated on her and she's been through enough with him. And this decorating frenzy was clearly her way of trying to cope.
