Falling Between the Notes (Nicholas Galitzine)

Chapter 31: Rebuilding Trust and Healing

Jade's POV

The California sunset bathed the world in a soft, orange glow as Nick and I sat quietly on the beach, the waves crashing gently against the shore. It felt peaceful, almost too peaceful, like the calm before a storm. I watched the water lap at the sand, feeling the cool breeze play with my hair. But no matter how serene the world around me was, the storm inside me raged on. It had been weeks since we decided to give us another chance, but some days, the weight of everything still felt too much to bear.

The moments we shared now felt different. It was like walking through a field of shattered glass, hoping not to cut yourself on any lingering shards. We were trying, both of us. I could see that in the way Nick would reach for my hand at random moments, like he needed to feel that connection between us, to reassure himself that we were still together. I could feel it in the way I caught myself studying him, wondering if I could really trust again.

He had been thoughtful—overly so, in fact. The small gestures hadn't gone unnoticed, the flowers he'd bring home, the spontaneous walks by the beach, or even the little notes he'd leave for me when he went out for work. There was a tenderness in him now that hadn't always been there. But underneath it all, there was also guilt, and it hung in the air between us like an invisible weight.

Tonight was no different.

Nick had surprised me with a simple picnic by the beach, just the two of us. We hadn't talked much, mostly because neither of us knew how to bring up the things that still lingered. Instead, we'd shared comfortable silence, but even that silence carried the unspoken truth that we weren't quite the same as before.

I glanced at him now, watching the way his fingers played with the edge of the picnic blanket. He seemed lost in thought, his jaw tight, like he was trying to hold something back. It was moments like these that reminded me of how fragile this all was—how one wrong word could make everything crumble again.

"Nick?" I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

He turned to me, his eyes gentle but clouded with something I couldn't quite place. "Yeah?"

I took a deep breath, gathering the courage to say what had been on my mind for days. "Are we really okay?"

The question hung in the air between us, and I could see the tension ripple through him. His gaze dropped to the sand for a moment before he looked back at me. There was pain in his eyes, a deep sorrow that made my chest tighten.

"I want us to be," he admitted, his voice low. "But I know... I know it's not that simple."

I nodded, feeling the familiar ache in my chest. "I want us to be okay too. I do. But... sometimes I don't know if I'm fooling myself by thinking we can just move past what happened."

Nick flinched, the reminder of his betrayal still raw. He reached for my hand, his touch warm and familiar, but I didn't know if it was enough to soothe the hurt that still lingered inside me.

"I hate myself for what I did, Jade," he said, his voice filled with regret. "Every day, I wake up and wish I could take it back. I know I broke your trust, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, if you let me."

I closed my eyes, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill. I believed him. I knew he regretted it. But what I couldn't figure out was if regret was enough.

"It's not just about the apology, Nick," I said, my voice trembling. "It's about the fear that it'll happen again. I don't know if I'll ever stop being scared that one day, you'll be with someone else, and I'll be back in that place again—wondering why I wasn't enough."