A Waking Nightmare (TNHID Book 2)

Chapter 2

Katniss

I peer into Willow's room through the slim opening. The window on the far wall lets in the silver glow of the moon, bathing her in its light. She breathes slowly and rhythmically, her chest rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. I like to watch her sleep. She appears so young, so innocent. Wiped of her fierceness, she looks more like the 10-year-old she should resemble.

Sometimes I worry that I have made her grow up too fast, ripping her childhood from her outstretched hands. But the options were this or leave her to face the hunger games completely unprepared.

And I have no doubt that she will face the games if things don't change soon.

I walk downstairs, to where the small group of revolutionaries is gathered around the dining table. Without getting closer, I can see that they are observing yet another map of the President's mansion. We have been trying to find a way to dismantle the government ever since Gale announced the games, but it's far from simple.

I know how Gale operates, and he will not make it simple to break in and find him.

Our plan was originally to try and overthrow the entire government. But then we realized that all we really need to do is find a way to kill Gale. Then we could make way for a sane president, preferably a person from the nationwide resistance.

But our current plan of action hasn't been working. We have found multiple points of entry, but we are unsure what kind of security or traps may have been placed. Plus, we have no way of knowing where Gale will be at any point of the day.

Any misstep will tip him off, and he'll be shipped to some safehouse far, far from our reach. And we'll be dead.

I am becoming impatient because Willow only has two more years before she enters the Reaping, and I have the twins to worry about now.

The twins were not part of my plan. And they weren't part of Peeta's either. We had both agreed that we wouldn't have any more kids. As much as we both would have wanted more in another life, we got stuck with this one. It wasn't worth the risk, and we were always so careful to try and prevent it.

But one morning, I woke up and found myself nauseous. I assumed—and hoped—that it was just a bug. I refused to think of the alternative. However, when the nausea didn't ease after a few weeks, I began to suspect the worst.

On a whim, I called my mother, expressing my concerns. I still remember leaving the house, with Peeta looking anxious. As if I were slightly deranged. And maybe I was, and still am.

She did her examinations and confirmed the worst. What I already knew.

I was pregnant.

I began to cry, hot, salty tears dripping down my face, obscuring my vision. I continued to sob on and off for a week or two. I know that Peeta felt my pain, felt the same gaping wound in his heart, aching with every beat, but he hid it so well, just like he always does. And it was worse when a month later, I learned that I was carrying not one, but two children. Eventually, I calmed down enough to pretend. I didn't want to worry Willow, so I went about life like everything was fine.

Even though everything was falling apart.

I take a seat next to Peeta, and he instantly wraps his arm around my back, not even thinking about the simple display of affection. It's one of the ways he tells me that he's here, that he loves me. I lean against his shoulder for a brief moment of comfort.

There are so many days where all I feel is despair. And not just because of the fact that I am bringing two more children into the messed-up world I live in, but also because of Willow. Just weeks after she was born, I created this resistance group, and we meet at least once a week. I have been hoping for a way to kill Gale before she turns twelve and is forced to enter the reaping, but we have been unable to make any breakthroughs. I try to keep hope that we can find a way in the two years we have left, but hope is a fickle fire, extinguished as easily as it sparks. If we haven't changed anything in ten years, then what can we change in two?