A Waking Nightmare (TNHID Book 2)

Chapter 12

Katniss

The taste of cinnamon and dill lingers on my lips. Peeta's departure hits hard and all I can feel is the emptiness. The house is too desolate. My mom follows me through the door, and all I can think is how quiet it is. Willow isn't running around trying to keep herself busy and Peeta isn't perfecting a new culinary masterpiece, his arms always available to envelope me when it all gets to be too much.

It's just me.

Alone.

My mom decided to stay with me for as long as it takes them to return. She knows that these weeks will be difficult, and I am grateful that she will be hanging around. But it doesn't make up for the loss of my husband and daughter.

"Should I set up in the guest room?" my mom asks gently. I nod, not trusting myself to speak without bursting into tears again. I listen as she walks up the stairs and can vaguely make out the sound of the guest room door closing.

I walk into the bathroom and rinse my tear-stained face. When I gaze in the mirror, I can barely recognize the person I have become. I feel more like myself now than I have in a decade, but I am still changed. My cheeks are blotchy and my eyes are tinged red. I have a permanent worry line in my forehead from the years of stress. I run a finger over the spot, trying to smooth out the wrinkle, but it remains, a reminder. "Get it together," I whisper, gripping the sides of the sink.

And I begin to think of Gale. That's all it takes. The rush of hatred floods my mind until it's the only thing I can think of. I think of the many ways I could hurt him the way he's hurt me. Reopening those scars on his back until he bleeds out. Throwing him into one of his own arenas, complete with every horror. Taking out his eyes, removing one of his hunting senses. Cutting out his tongue like an Avox, shooting the words "murderer and traitor" into his chest, drenching him in skin-eroding poison. Just the thought of the life seeping out of his body is enough to bring me peace.

I open the door and walk back outside. I immediately begin rummaging through multiple cabinets. I gather any non-perishable food. I grab pieces of dried meat, fruit, crackers, and anything in a can before dumping them into a backpack. I decide that I might need to go shopping for more later on.

I turn around and see my mom watching me. "What are you doing?"

I know it's not safe to speak freely here so I say, "Gathering some stuff. Just in case anything happens to the house." It's vague enough that other people will think it sounds perfectly reasonable. But my mom understands my meaning. What if we need to run?

We grab clothes from different drawers until I have three bags in front of me. There are more than enough clothes for a few people if the resistance needs to run. And there are ample clothes for anyone's kids if they need to come along. Each pack has matches, iodine for purifying water, canteens, cash, a basic first aid kit, and supplies for an infant.

Hopefully, we won't need it, but you can never know with Gale.

If Willow dies, he doesn't need me either.

"I need to go grocery shopping soon. We need more food." My mom nods and pats my hand gently.

"I really don't think we're going to need these. And if we do end up needing them, I doubt we're going to have much warning beforehand."

I know that she's right, but I feel better knowing that I am as prepared as I can be.

I grab some leftover chicken from the fridge and heat it for dinner. We eat in silence, and the chicken is dry from the days in the refrigerator.

I place my dish in the sink to wash it later but turn to one of the cupboards. I empty everything out of the top shelf and remove the plank of wood to reveal a safe. I check to make sure the multiple fake IDs are still inside. No one knows about this safe except for Peeta and me, but I always find myself double-checking.