Raw Marks | KOOKV✓

Chapter 54

The ceiling above Taehyung was a canvas of soft, artificial stars, scattered across the dark expanse like the sky itself had lowered to cradle him. The twinkling lights shimmered faintly, casting a gentle glow over his tear-stained face, but the ceiling was more than just decoration; it felt like the night sky had come to stay with him in his sorrow, as if the universe had woven itself into his room to keep him company

Every tiny light seemed to carry a galaxy within it, as though millions of stars were reflected in his tear-glossed eyes, mourning alongside him, grieving silently as he lay in his bed. The real sky outside was empty of stars, but here, under this ceiling, it didn’t matter. It felt like the whole universe had come to be with him, to listen to his heartache, to hold him in his silence and bear witness to his brokenness

A single tear slipped from his eye, tracing a familiar path down his cheek as he thought of Jungkook. That beautiful man, whose sudden return into his life had been as unexpected as a star breaking through the darkness of a night sky, had come back to him with warmth and light. Jungkook was no longer the figure from his past, the source of so much pain and confusion

Now, he was something else—a glowing presence, a blessing. But Taehyung’s trauma, his old wounds, had stained that blessing, like spilling ink on something pure and beautiful, leaving marks on Jungkook that he hadn’t deserved. Guilt gripped Taehyung’s heart, tightening around it like a vice, so heavy that it had weighed him down for two days, making it difficult to breathe, to think of anything else

Misang had dropped him off at his apartment after that night, and Taehyung had been relieved, at least, to hear that Byun had guided Jungkook home safely. He had feared the younger might have stayed with him, the therapist, and worried that perhaps he would be taken advantage of in his fragile state. But no, Jungkook had gone home—Taehyung could cling to that small comfort. Still, the relief had been short-lived

The moment he was alone, the guilt returned, surging up like a tidal wave, dragging him down into its depths. He had wanted to run to Jungkook, to see him, to hold him, but no matter how much his heart screamed for him to go, his feet remained frozen. The shame was too much; it built walls around him, keeping him from finding the courage to face Jungkook. And so, for two days, neither of them had reached out to the other

Taehyung had tried. He had written messages, long paragraphs full of apologies, full of the things he wished he had said that night, but every time his finger hovered over the send button, he hesitated. Even after he sent them, the younger wouldn't really pick them up or see them. Fear crawled into his chest—what if Jungkook truly hated him now? What if those terrible words he had spoken—calling Jungkook a monster—had shattered the last fragile thread between them?

He could still see the younger man’s face in his mind, the way his expression had shifted from shock to something far more painful. The sadness that had filled Jungkook’s eyes had been unbearable to witness, and Taehyung had etched that moment into his memory, replaying it over and over. The way his lips had trembled, how his eyes had shrunk, filled with disbelief and sorrow—it haunted the older. He had expected anger, maybe even hoped for it. He wanted Jungkook to lash out, to yell, to express the hurt in a way that was loud and raw

But Jungkook hadn’t done that. He hadn’t shouted or stormed away in rage. Instead, he had simply looked broken, as if the weight of Taehyung’s words had crushed something inside him, a burden too heavy for him to bear alone any longer

Now, lying on his bed, staring blankly at the purple-hued stars above, Taehyung felt the tears come again, his chest tightening with fear. He was terrified of what would happen next. What would Jungkook do? Would he disappear from his life again, this time for good? The thought of losing Jungkook was like a knife twisting in his heart, sharp and agonizing. He didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t want this pain. He didn’t want to cry anymore, to keep hurting both of them with his unresolved fears and insecurities